


For the Sake of the Magician

by DiLithiumDragon



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No TV World, Bullied Hanamura Yosuke, Bullied!AU, Human Teddie, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mob Mentality, Other, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trans Naoto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-04-25 13:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiLithiumDragon/pseuds/DiLithiumDragon
Summary: The townspeople of Inaba swear that Junes is the problem. The solution? Getting rid of the "face" of it all: one Yosuke Hanamura.(on Hiatus)





	1. The First Six Months

**Author's Note:**

> Right off the bat disclaimer: I have never personally been bullied before, much less to the extent shown here. Everything I know/use comes from Hell Girl, pretty much. So, if anything sounds weird or wrong, sorry about that.
> 
> Also warnings for being bullied and all that implies, depression, suicidal thoughts/idealization, and an attempted suicide scene (that happens later).

[Prologue - The First Six Months]

 

At first, the notes were short and simple.

"Get out."

"Go away."

"Fuck your Junes."

Loud, but easy to deal with. They were just notes, just the same things being said behind his back in the school halls.

Then they got more complicated.

"Go home to your city and take Junes with you."

"Nobody wants you here, Junes boy, so go all ready."

"It's your fault that my family's shop is closing down and we haven't had a proper meal for the past week. You and that fucking Junes store."

"Ever since you moved in my pop's been working until he passes out at the table just to compete with your fucking store."

"My mom says it's because of Junes that we can't afford a good schooling for me after this. That means it's all your fault."

Plenty of them came in, stories about how Junes had ruined everything for them. Each one seemed more heartbreaking than before. Still, Yosuke endured. It wasn't his fault, but how could he tell anyone that? How could he convince them that he had nothing to do with the Junes being built here? He tried to apologise, say he was sorry for their situations, but all that did was open the floodgates to more spitting, hateful comments.

"You can't be sorry unless you do something to fix it."

"Empty apologies mean nothing."

"So why don't you fix it all ready?"

"Do something about it, then we'll accept your apology."

More vitriol, more hate.

"If you're so sorry, then just kill yourself all ready."

At that one particular note, Yosuke wasn't so sure about this anymore. He couldn't just brush this off and say it was nothing. No matter what he did, they kept coming.

"Kill yourself and take Junes with you."

"Jump off a bridge and drown, Junes boy."

"If you just died all ready, all of our problems would be solved."

"Nooses are fairly simple to fashion. Perhaps you'd like some ideas for makeshift ones?"

"As long as you're alive, our lives will be shitty."

How was any of this his fault? How could they put it all on him? He hadn't built the Junes in this fucking backwater place. He hadn't wanted to move here and away from his home in the city in the first place. He hated this tiny, awful town. He wanted to listen to them and return to the city, to get the hell out of here.

"Why would you come back here? There's no one who'll put up with your annoying face."

Even that, however, was denied to him. His so-called 'friends' didn't care now that they couldn't get discounts out of him or get him to pay their way. They didn't care what happened to him. No one did. For a while, he believed every single one of those notes jammed into his school locker.

"Kill yourself."

Everything would be better if he died.

"No one likes you, just off yourself all ready."

Everyone would be better off if he took himself out of the picture.

"Either get out or die."

He'd be doing them all a favour if he killed himself. It was all his fault. Somehow, someway, the world just hated him and everything around him was shitty because of it. His bad luck and disappointing existence caused all of this misfortune.

It would be better for everyone if he just disappeared into the woods or into a river or off a bridge or off the roof of a building. If he disappeared from the world.

His existence was only causing pain and suffering and hate. No one would miss him. There'd be a huge sigh of relief after his death. A whole goddamn festival could be held to celebrate the death of that Junes boy.

"You're interesting to me, Hanamura-kun."

Then he'd gotten that one saving grace. Not exactly a friend, but a light in all the darkness. Konishi Saki, a new part timer at Junes and his senpai. They worked together and she was polite. She called them birds of a feather, since her family's store was also experiencing a loss of sales due to Junes' presence. He tried asking why she decided to work at the place ruining her family's business, but she wouldn't answer him about that.

Junes was bigger, convenient, new. Yosuke once talked with her about the hypocrisy of it all, how these people condemned Junes so readily while also coming in to buy their shit and perpetuate the whole issue. She agreed with him that people could be horrible, but left it at that.

"I'm sorry, Hanamura-kun, but you're just so annoying."

It didn't really surprise Yosuke when she broke things off. She must've been getting so much hate for even pretending to be nice to him. Of course she wouldn't be able to take it. Besides, how could he delude himself so much into thinking she could like him? Yosuke had been too nosy, too interested in her personal issues, asked too many questions of her. He ran to her every time to talk, an overly attached gnat. No one could possibly like him. He didn't know why he was such a fuck up. Why did he continue to live? Why did he perpetuate all of this misfortune?

Their relationship became strained at work, polite, but she no longer bothered to talk with him like before. He couldn't blame her.

"Actually, Hanamura, I've always thought you were pretty cute. Meet me at the Samegawa flood plain after school, I've got something nice for you."

It was a lie, but he still kept the first note. The start of the 'Hanamura Challenge'. It was stupid and a hollowness filled him whenever he saw that envelope holding the note inside, but at least it said something nice. Even if there was so much malice behind it, he could pretend for a moment that it was real. He could pretend there was sincerity there, that at least one person could like him.

"Hanamura-san, I want to confess to you in person. Please meet me on the roof during lunch today. I'll be waiting."

It never stopped being stupid and empty, but he kept all of them. They piled up quickly after the first few opened the way. Some were still cruel, not even bothering to put up the pretence, and Yosuke still kept them. Still waited. The jabs and condescending laughter aimed at him never deterred him. It was easier to deal with than the hate that kept pouring in from everywhere, so why should he let these little things bother him?

Sometimes the girls didn't stand him up completely. They usually laughed in his face or demanded some sort of compensation for their troubles. Of course, none of them could be real. No one liked Yosuke. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to believe anything else. His hope had been trampled by so many, yet he kept playing the idiot.

"You owe me a steak after this. Pay up."

He often wondered why he was still alive.

"Junes-senpai, you're just not my type. You know, my grandma's shop is suffering, too."

Maybe this was an eternal punishment for his existence.

"No offence, Hanamura-san, but you're just not good-looking enough for a girl. I hear Tatsumi-kun is odd, so you could try that. Oh, but Tatsumi-kun actually has taste."

Maybe he was all ready dead.

"Kid, these cabbages don't even look fresh. Let me speak to your manager."

Maybe he should just hurry up and slice open his own throat all ready.

"..the new transfer student, ya hear? As far as I'm concerned, you'll all stay pure as the driven snow as long as you're under my watch. Even you, Hanamura, you filthy punk. Don't think you can rest easy just because.."

And then, come the start of the new school year, there was another outsider amongst them. This time, however, there were no cries for blood or sacrifice. And that really ticked Yosuke off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 please work with me good golly gosh


	2. Trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU or not, their meeting's always gotta be the same: Narukami pulling Hanamura out of a trash can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister beta'd this for me, so much thanks to her~  
> Because of her, we have realistic bike physics. Hell yeah.

[Part 1 - Trash]

 

"The transfer student's kinda bold, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it's only been three days and he's all ready well on his way to acing the Amagi Challenge."

"What nerves of steel. I can't even look at Amagi-san without trembling a little."

"Do you think he'll ask her out? Or will he get her to ask him?"

Yosuke rolled his eyes and turned up his music player. He should really be packing up to leave and get to work, but damn if Yosuke wanted to get to Junes any earlier than he needed. The blasting guitar and discordant beat could only drown out the noise for so long, though. Those nattering voices were persistent in getting Yosuke's attention.

"The transfer student's so much cooler than Junes boy."

"Don't compare them, they're not even in the same category."

"Maybe the transfer student will join the art club. His hands are so slim and look decently skilled enough for that sort of thing."

"His legs look too athletic to be sitting around all day, though. So maybe one of the sports' clubs?"

"As if. Our teams suck too much for the transfer student to bother himself with them."

"Though, with the transfer student on our team, maybe we could actually win some games."

They were carving this guy up, piece by piece, like he wasn't even human. Yosuke sat up off his desk and pulled his headphones down off his ears. "He has a name, you know."

That got the noise to finally shut up. Honestly, Yosuke didn't understand why this of all things was pushing his buttons. He should've let it be, encouraged them to play with this new toy so as to leave Yosuke alone for a while. That was unlikely, however, and Yosuke had all ready spoken up. It got Chie and Yukiko's attention, too. And, of course, the transfer student himself. Narukami Yu. Yosuke hadn't noticed before, but the guy sat in the desk right in front of Yosuke and had a mad case of early onset grey hair.

And now that Yosuke had the entire class' attention, he had to continue. "Stop treating him like he's some alien deity or something. He's new, I get it, but he's still a person with his own life and worries and shit. He's not some new thing made to entertain all of you, so just shut up about it."

Yosuke glared at all of them, and when they glared back he knew it was time to quickly get out of there. The noise never stopped for long, anyways. Their voices were always bigger than Yosuke's shouts, no matter how loud Yosuke thought he could get.

"You shut up, Hanamura."

"Yeah, you're just jealous that the transfer student's so much cooler than you."

"Is that what this is about? You think he's encroaching on your territory of being the new kid?"

"That's despicable, Junes boy."

Yosuke put his headphones back on, packed up his things, and left the classroom. There'd be no sating them after he'd intentionally set them off. The best he could do was escape the blast zone and come back to deal with the damage later. Besides, he had a date with a job he hated at a place he loathed and there was no way he could be late for that, now could he?

It was strange to be so angry again. Yosuke gathered his bike from the rack and, of course, the patchwork job he'd done to fix the tires had been rudely ripped off. Again. Yosuke tried not to let his complaints about this get to the noticeable level; he simply dug his repair kit out of his bag, worked on patching the tires up, and kept his mouth shut. No one wanted to hear the Junes boy get rightfully pissed off over something he didn't even deserve on this petty a level. Because Yosuke deserved every bit of vitriol and hate they dished out at him. After patching the tires up the best he could (and pumping them up with just enough air to get him home), he climbed aboard his death trap and started his way to Junes.

For a while there, Yosuke had been sure he'd all ready died from how empty he'd been. Seemed like there was still a spark inside of him somewhere, like he'd had at the beginning of this ordeal. Why had this situation brought that out of him?

It only took a minute of being caught up in his thoughts for him to lose control of his steering (though one of the tires popping and grinding his whole bike to a halt didn't help), then get dumped unceremoniously right into a trash can. He expected the crash and all since he wasn't exactly the best at balancing acts or regaining control of a situation, but a trash can? That was just an extra layer of insulting. The world really fucking hated him that much in the end, huh? He groaned and stopped struggling to get out. Seemed like he was a bit too stuck for that.

Maybe this was the world saying he should just accept his fate all ready. If he lay here long enough, the world would kick into gear and throw him away. Let him die and end all of this misfortune his existence caused.

"Hello?"

W-Was there someone poking at his leg?

Yosuke flailed his legs wildly, but he was still solidly stuck. And someone was out there to laugh at him or otherwise ridicule him for this fitting situation. Of course the world wouldn't let him off that easy. He was hesitant to speak up, but it wasn't like he could play dead by this point. "Uh, wh-who's there?"

"You look like you're stuck." The voice was deep, warm, vaguely familiar. Definitely one Yosuke had heard before, but not one he could match with a face. "Need some help?"

That made Yosuke freeze. This couldn't be any of his classmates or any of the townsfolk. That left one possible candidate and Yosuke cringed. "Yes, please."

The transfer student, Narukami Yu, pulled on Yosuke's legs and got Yosuke out of that trash can. Then Narukami helped Yosuke to his feet. Nobody helped anyone for nothing. There had to be a catch here. A reason. Yosuke didn't want to be around for that, but knowing his luck it would chase him down no matter what.

Narukami smiled, didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave. Which probably meant Yosuke had fucked up and was really in for it. The only thing he'd really learned about Narukami was Narukami's name, which left too many possibilities as to how this could go down. Yosuke gulped. He had to play it off. Had to at least try to soften the blow. "Hey, uh. Thanks for that."

"You're welcome. Hanamura-san, right?"

Narukami's voice was calm, neutral. This was gonna suck. Yosuke forced a grin to cover up any potential cringing. "Yup, that's me. And you're Narukami-san, yeah?"

Narukami nodded, polite on top of that level-headed calm thing. Yosuke's hands shook and then he was talking too fast, too rushed, trying to get the words out before Narukami could say something else.

"Look, I'm sorry about-about earlier. I mean, I said all that without really thinking and, well, I was totally out of line. I didn't mean to -- you know -- offend or anything, that was just. It was just. S-Sorry, I'm sorry."

Narukami stared for a moment and wow, his eyes were also grey. Something had sucked the colour outta this guy at some point. Yosuke expected something bad. Anything bad, really. Maybe Narukami would tell Yosuke off for being so presumptuous or drawing the attention away from Narukami for that moment. Not that Narukami really looked like the egotistical type, but Yosuke had learned not to judge based on appearance alone. That cute trumpet girl, Ayane, had said the meanest things with that cute face of hers. Either way, Yosuke braced himself for it this time.

Narukami smiled again, though it had some confusion to it. "Why are you apologising?"

Right, Yosuke should really be grovelling. No, wait. Narukami's calm demeanour was impeccable, how was this possible? Was this a good thing? Yosuke tried to distract himself by brushing his clothes off, making sure no gross trash was stuck in his hair, not thinking about this false sense of security getting ripped from beneath his feet to trip him up even more. "Uh. Sorry?"

Apologising did tend to make the situation worse, but right now it was all Yosuke could think to do. He wasn't sure what steps to take for this. Narukami chuckled softly, still polite. "Actually, I wanted to thank you for saying those things. So, thank you, Hanamura-san."

Was this some sort of trick? Narukami sounded too genuine to be real. Yosuke's hands hadn't stopped shaking and now a prickling sensation built up on the back of his neck. There had to be a downside. This wasn't real. Things were going to fuck up again and return to normal. Stop.

Then again, Yosuke had experienced being strung along before. That was probably it. It had been a while since he'd been played by some false hope like this. All he could manage was a mumbled, "No problem" as a response. So much for trying to play it off. The inevitable soul crushing rejection at the end of this was a bit more than he could handle at the moment. Narukami accepted it as it was, thankfully, and moved the topic along. "Is your bike okay?"

Crap, Yosuke had nearly forgotten about that. He rushed to pick it up, did his best to laugh all casual-like. "It's seen worse, it'll be fine. Thanks, though. I really owe ya, Narukami-san."

"It's all right, you don't have to."

So this guy was a never-ending spring of manners? Good to know. Narukami really could ace the Amagi Challenge if he tried. Yosuke grinned, a practiced and fake no-nonsense determination to it. "I insist. It'll be a good way to introduce you to some of the local delicacies around here, yeah? Oh, but don't expect much, it's just fried steak."

Narukami laughed. "That's fine, sounds fun. If you insist, I suppose there's nothing I can do to stop you."

"Damn straight."

Yosuke winked and god, he hated having to fake this exuberance so much. It was the only way to keep his parents off his back, though, and it served well to ward off some of the predators. Though, most just assumed they needed to try harder to break him, but whatever. The faked exuberance was as tiring as the emotionless hole in Yosuke's chest, so it didn't really matter which front he put up.

He still had a whole day of work left in store for him. Shit. He crouched down by his bike, examining the pop and gauging whether or not his small repair kit could effectively patch it up enough to get him to work. He gave a distracted wave to Narukami behind him, one that clearly communicated that Narukami could leave now, that Narukami no longer had a reason to stick around the disappointing Junes boy. "I'll talk more about it with ya later. For now, I gotta deal with this so I can get to work."

"You shouldn't be riding around on that thing."

That simple, matter of fact statement made Yosuke pause. The town really hadn't gotten to Narukami yet if that was Narukami's main objection at the moment. Yosuke looked back to where Narukami was, but was surprised to find that Narukami had crouched down by him to join him in examining the tires on his bike. Right, of course a normal and polite person would see this whole death trap as an issue. Instead of just letting Yosuke be risky, damned if he managed to get himself killed with his own stupidity. Hell, any normal townsperson would cheer that on and actively encourage it. Yosuke was able to relax a little and waved his hand dismissively before busying himself with digging out his repair kit from his bag. "It's all good, I've got stuff to make it usable for now. I can fix it for real after my shift."

Narukami looked directly at Yosuke, a bit unsettling, and totally not taking the bait. "You crashed into a trash can."

Yosuke's ears burned in humiliation. "Details."

"Another thing, you should get showered before you go in to work. They may not appreciate you being late, but you'll be clean and won't get a reprimand for being unfit to work your shift."

A reprimand. Right. Because Yosuke could totally avoid getting one of those from his dad and co-workers and the rest of the town. Still, Narukami made a good point. Yosuke groaned, glanced back the way towards the school, then forward towards the way to his house. "Either way, I need quick transportation to get there."

"Which this bike is not." Narukami shook his head. There it was, exasperation. Finally, something Yosuke was familiar with and knew how to handle. "And until you can get the proper equipment for fixing it properly, I'm walking with you to make sure you get where you need to go safely."

Yosuke gulped. "You sure? I-I mean, my house is a bit of a walk from here."

"I don't mind."

Narukami smiled again, that polite one. Yosuke gave in, prepared for the worst. "If you say so."

True to his word, Narukami walked with Yosuke to Yosuke's house. Once there, Yosuke left in order to get showered and changed and had to leave Narukami to deal with a very inquisitive Teddie. When Yosuke came back, the tires were replaced with new, unbroken ones and Narukami was gone. Teddie gushed about how cool and talented Narukami was, then whined about Yosuke leaving for work. Yosuke couldn't pay it any mind, had to rush to get to Junes.

That Narukami was a pretty strange guy. In due time, the town would get to him, too. Then he could hold the trash can thing over Yosuke until Yosuke was eventually killed. Yosuke had no doubts about his own death. If this place didn't drive him there, the world would take care of it somehow. Today was just a breather before the real pain. Or something.

Yosuke still couldn't balance that well, but it was nice to not worry about the tires for a day. It was nice to have had a civil conversation with someone other than his mother. His father tended to fluctuate depending on the day and Teddie was way too rambunctious for normal conversation. Poor kid probably got a lot of flak from his schoolmates for wearing that goddamn mascot costume for Junes.

Tomorrow would be another day, Yosuke thought as he punched out prices onto products he didn't give a shit for. That unsettling cabbage guy was waiting by the produce and Yosuke knew he was in for another day of noise.


	3. Trial of the Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Other inevitable-despite-AU truth: Chie kicks Yosuke in the balls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank my sis for beta-ing~ Tega is awesome like that.  
> (also are you all excited to have Saki as a living, not-dead character? 'cause I sure as heck am.)

[Part 2 - Trial of the Dragon]

 

Yosuke's bike being functional had lasted all of his trip to Junes. After that, someone had, predictably, slashed the tires again by the time his shift was over and he had to patch them back up in order to get home. But the tires being new definitely made his bike more controllable, and as such he rode it to school the next morning. He spotted Narukami as he rode past and nearly crashed into a telephone pole while distracted by that. Thankfully, Yosuke managed to swerve and stay upright, paused a moment to catch his breath.

For a crazy moment, Yosuke thought to say hi and give a friendly morning greeting to Narukami. It'd be the polite thing and all. Then it occurred to Yosuke that there were other students walking this way. Way too many witnesses. Yosuke had all ready drawn some unwanted attention for speaking out the other day. Best not to aggravate the mob any more or drag Narukami into it.

Yosuke continued on to school, locked up his bike, and went to investigate the damage done to the contents of his locker. Just as he'd thought, it was filled to the brim with more hate mail. He had to pull out quite a bit of it to get to his shoes, which had been filled to overflowing with tacks. Lovely. He dumped those into the trash, made sure he'd got them all before slipping the shoes on to his feet. Then he shoved the letters back into his locker and closed it, left it all in there. It would deter new notes during lunch and Yosuke just preferred getting yelled at face to face to pass the time.

He'd managed to sit down at his desk and clear out the spiders someone had shoved in there (ugh, spiders? Who the hell had the time to do this shit?) before Narukami came in and sat at the desk in front of Yosuke. Oh. Right. Yosuke had forgotten about that.

Yosuke went to put his headphones on, but then Narukami turned around to address Yosuke, actually talking to Yosuke. "Do you go through tires that quickly or do you just like the way the patches look on them?"

Again, Yosuke froze up. Why would Narukami talk to Yosuke right now? Why did Narukami notice Yosuke's stupid bike tires? How could Narukami not know yet about the fact that no one made polite chit-chat with Yosuke? Narukami was chummy enough with both Chie and Yukiko, they ought to have mentioned this at least twelve times.

Narukami, unabashed and not at all discouraged, continued. "Either way, the patches are meant to be temporary fixes. Anytime your tires have any issues, you really should get new ones. Otherwise, you'll end up crashing more often like what happened yesterday."

Not only was Yosuke frozen, he was also speechless. Narukami had to be after something. There had to be a reason, some kind of end goal in this for Narukami. There just had to be. Even Yosuke's city friends admitted they were only polite to Yosuke for the Junes discounts. That was the only viable explanation.

"Hey, Narukami-kun, did you watch my Kung-Fu movie last night?"

Then Chie came in and graciously distracted Narukami away from this weird bike thing. God, Yosuke couldn't believe he was grateful to Chie about something. She engaged Narukami in conversation about Kung-Fu movies or something (and, hey, if Chie was willing to lend Narukami one of her precious Kung-Fu DVDs, then Narukami was seriously in line for passing the Amagi Challenge with flying colours. Befriending the Chie was the first and hardest step) and Yosuke focused on steadying his hands and calming the fuck down.

Things had been thrown a little out of balance there. No need to lose his head about it. Things would even out and go back to normal. This would stop and Yosuke could continue with his disappointing existence, alone and hated by all. Narukami would succumb. Just like all the rest.

Lunchtime came and Yosuke bolted out of the classroom, away from Narukami, and took refuge on the roof. Usually a risky chance to take, as once or twice some dickheads had nearly pushed Yosuke over the gate. The scratches from those experiences hadn't been fun to explain to his mom. Still better than hiding in the stairwell and getting found by a teacher. Chie and Yukiko at least had a hold on Narukami. Things would smooth over sooner or later.

Kou and Daisuke ended up finding Yosuke on the roof and sat with Yosuke. Better them than anyone else. Kou still wanted Yosuke on the basketball team, despite Daisuke reminding Kou about how often Yosuke tripped over his own feet during Phys Ed. They shared a laugh over that. Daisuke mentioned that the transfer student would be up for grabs, Kou wasn't convinced that Narukami was the basketball type.

They were a neutral type noise, less aggressive than the rest. It was nice. Yosuke didn't want to bother them or cause them any grief, so he ducked out a bit early to walk the halls as lunch ended.

He could always skip, sure, but then his dad would be furious. Not like either of his parents would be able to do anything about this, if they even took his side about it. Teddie could get away with it easier, being younger. Yosuke should have been old enough by now to take care of his own problems. Yosuke needed to keep his head down and pretend things were okay when all he really wanted to do was hightail it out of this town. Why'd they have to move? His dad never should have taken the job here.

After classes ended, Yosuke had been all prepared to go home and hide in his room for the rest of the weekend when he looked up to see the back of Narukami's head and oh shit. Oh yeah. He'd promised to pay Narukami back for that kindness the other day. Well, politeness. Though fixing the tires on his bike was kinda going above and beyond normal politeness. No matter how much this could very well bite Yosuke in the ass, he couldn't go back on his promise.

He took a deep breath, stood and walked the few steps it took to stand beside Narukami's desk. That got Narukami's attention. Good. Easy part done. Yosuke grinned, crossed his arms so he could hold onto them and hide how badly his hands were shaking. "I said I'd treat ya to the fine delicacies of Inaba and that's what I intend to do." He paused for a moment, thought about it, then added, "That is, as long as you're free today."

"Ah." Narukami seemed taken aback and Yosuke hoped to god Narukami was busy today, that they could reschedule for a different day, tomorrow even, but then Narukami smiled. "Yes, I'm free. Thank you, Hanamura-san."

Again with the thanking thing and being polite. Yosuke ignored it and perked up. "Great. No problem, it's my treat."

"What're you bothering the transfer student about now, Yosuke?"

Chie noticed, shouldered her way into this conversation. Because of course Chie would notice. Yosuke wilted, tried not to let it show. "It's nothing. Just. I owe him."

Of course she'd notice, she sat right next to Narukami. Of course she'd butt in, she loved taking any chance she could to kick Yosuke whether he was down or not. She scoffed, the mere thought of such a thing probably offending her. "Narukami-kun, you need to be careful around this guy. He's whiny and clings like a parasite if you give him the barest of chances. Just ask Konishi-senpai, she suffered through the whole thing first-hand."

Yosuke bowed his head, an attempt to hide the fury building in him. Bringing Saki-senpai into this was a low blow and Chie knew it. Chie was just trying to get a rise out of him, a reaction, something that would validate every hateful comment slung his way. Revolting enough to make Yosuke's stomach turn. Though he had no appetite to lose, he'd lost it all the same. He closed his eyes, stinging from the beginnings of angry tears, and forced the words out through his clenched teeth. "Sorry. Maybe some other time."

"Let's go, Hanamura-san."

Narukami stood, grabbed Yosuke's hand, and pulled Yosuke out of the classroom. It was enough to leave Chie behind, dumb with shock. Yosuke wasn't much better, though. Narukami had grabbed Yosuke's hand and it was warm. Foreign, because that was a little too much physical contact between two guy acquaintances, but that wasn't really the main issue. Yosuke's eyes widened and he pulled his hand back, out of Narukami's grip. They were in the halls, halfway to the stairs. This guy could really move when motivated, apparently. Narukami frowned, stopped to look back at Yosuke. Those soft grey eyes held only confusion, not an ounce of contempt.

This was pointless. They'd rope Narukami into it eventually. Yosuke had to explain himself, had to warn Narukami that everything Chie said was true. Yosuke was a selfish, clinging parasite, annoying and no one liked him. They'd all ready attracted too much attention. Yosuke couldn't live with himself if he dragged Narukami down, too, like what had happened to Saki-senpai.

Narukami's confusion changed to, of all things, sheepishness. "Ah, sorry. I acted without completely thinking that through."

Narukami was too willing to apologise to someone like Yosuke. It wasn't right. Yosuke cleared his throat, tried not to let it show how terrifying that really was. "No, that was my bad, sorry. I wasn't expecting to get grabbed like that."

"Hey, wait." Chie came running after them. A clear indication that they'd taken too long to get out before she'd recovered from her shock. "Where-Where are you guys going? Is this about showing Narukami-kun around Inaba? Because Yukiko and I all ready took care of most of that."

Narukami shook his head, admirably polite in the face of all of this. "No, Hanamura-san offered to take me out for Inaba's specialty."

"So, like, are you talking about the fried steak?"

Chie practically drooled at the mention of it. Oh boy. Yosuke gritted his teeth as he grinned. "Yeah, that."

Ugh, what was with this girl and meat? Why didn't that turn some heads rather than Yosuke being the favourite scapegoat here? Chie recollected herself, placed a hand on her hip and used her other hand to gesticulate. "If it's steak, you have to bring me along, too. Duh."

She sounded so confident about this. Still, it was better to relent and allow this than to fight it. Yosuke exhaled through his nose, shook his head. "Fine, fine."

He walked on ahead to lead the way. Narukami and Chie followed, Narukami chatting with Chie as they went. Or interrogating her. Yosuke didn't care enough to pay that close attention to it. He didn't have enough money for three steak meals from the shopping district. And if Yosuke didn't get himself anything, it'd be awkward and Narukami would definitely point it out. Chie wouldn't like it, but Yosuke had no other choice. Hell, maybe it'd be enough to drive away both Chie and Narukami.

Yosuke wound his way through town until they arrived at Junes. As expected, before they could get in the doors, Chie kicked up a fuss. "Are you serious? What gives? There's no steak here."

"I'm not made of money, you know." Yosuke rolled his eyes. "Besides, no one's forcing you to come in. If you don't want to be here, then leave."

Chie frowned, no doubt debating about it with herself. Yosuke really hoped she'd leave, but couldn't really express that without either getting punched or kicked in the face. Maybe both. Narukami walked inside without a problem, getting a look around the entryway. "Junes?"

Though Yosuke would also prefer it if Narukami left in disgust, Yosuke was torn about it. Narukami seemed like a cool guy. It was too early to be making any sort of judgements, however. Yosuke smiled, apologetic, the one thing he was good at that didn't have to be faked. "Yeah, sorry. Maybe steak some other time?"

"It's all right, really." Narukami looked interested, genuinely interested, to be here. "I'm actually grateful you took me here instead. I wanted to learn where this store was eventually."

How could Narukami look so goddamned pleased about that? Yosuke had to swallow back the urge to scream or ask how that could be possible. It was probably for the whole, 'shop there but hate on it for taking away the shopping district's business' thing that was hypocritical and why was Yosuke so angry recently? He had to tone it down, this was too much emotion for a dead man walking to have.

Speaking of that hypocrisy, Yosuke led Narukami in and Chie followed, so the want of free food must've won out in the end. Narukami went right back to asking Chie a ton of questions. There were a lot of 'why's and Chie stuttering through explanations, sometimes asking Yosuke to agree or confirm something. Yosuke just agreed without really listening. It didn't matter much in the end.

Yosuke got the two to the food court, then got their orders and left to get the food. Chie would complain about it either way and Narukami was sure to notice the cheapness. Yosuke hated being here when he didn't have to be. He seriously had to take Narukami out for some proper food and a proper welcome to this shithole. Some other time, when freeloaders like Chie weren't around to force their way into it.

Working the food stand today was, of course, Saki-senpai. She made a very bitter joke about Yosuke boosting this place's sales by bringing his friends here, he replied back that he didn't have any friends to do that sort of thing with. They laughed, she gave him the food and drinks, and he left it at that. Any more and he'd be annoying, causing her trouble, being his usual pain in the ass self. Yeah, he should've realised sooner that there was no way they could ever be friends.

Yosuke brought the tray over and set it down in the middle of the table. Chie and Narukami sat comfortably a chair away from each other at the round table, so Yosuke sat down across from them both. Chie grabbed a drink and a plate off the tray, had a very smug expression on her face. "Unrequited love certainly stings, don't it?"

Yosuke, again, bristled. She was still trying to get a rise out of him, to make him look the fool in front of Narukami. He grabbed a drink from the tray and glared down at it. "Sure."

Arguing wouldn't help. No one listened to his case in the first place. They'd always drown his voice under their awful, hateful noise and Yosuke was done trying by this point. Narukami took the last drink and the second plate of food, looked way more perplexed than before. "Um. Satonaka-san."

"Oh, Narukami-kun, isn't this food just awful?" Chie busied herself with eating, though she took the time to chew and swallow between her words. Impressive that she didn't just speak with her mouth full, like she was prone to doing. "You can taste how cheap they make it, huh?"

"I -- hm." Narukami took a bite of food and chewed, contemplating the taste. He swallowed and, in the end, looked just as perplexed as before. "It's not horrible?"

"You're too kind, Narukami-kun. That's a really admirable trait to have, though."

Chie laughed, a harsh tone to it that was clearly meant to be directed at Yosuke. Yeah, Narukami was wonderful and everything Yosuke wasn't, they got it. Yosuke begrudgingly pulled the tray closer, with its remaining plate of food on it, and poked at the food with his pair of chopsticks. Then the silence fell.

Were it not for Narukami being there looking completely uncomfortable, Yosuke would've put on his headphones to blast out his hearing with the hard guitars and messy beats. As it was, Narukami seemed to be grappling with a conversation starter, so Yosuke waited. That was fine, Yosuke had dragged the two of them here in the first place. Whatever.

It took Narukami a good few minutes, during which Chie had just about finished inhaling her food. Finally, however, Narukami looked over to address Yosuke. "Satonaka-san said you work here, Hanamura-san?"

"Understatement of the century." Chie gulped down the final bite of her meal, held her soda in one hand and sat back in her seat. "His family practically owns this place. Right, Yosuke?"

She huffed and sipped at her drink. It was clear what she meant, that it was all Yosuke's fault for the state of their town and the cheap, messy meals that Junes made weren't a fitting replacement for steaks. Narukami's nose wrinkled in an offended frown. There it was.

It'd be painting a bigger target on himself, but Yosuke had to speak up and say something. Some attempt to diffuse the situation. "Yeah. Y'see, Narukami-san, my dad was made the manager of this location." Yosuke's gaze returned to his drink. Just thinking about the whole thing made him lose all of that previous anger. "My family moved here from the city six months ago because of that. So, I can sorta understand your situation because we're similar in that sense, huh?"

A whole six months. Yosuke had nearly lost track of it all. Chie snorted, clunked her drink down on the table. "C'mon, Yosuke. You, similar to Narukami-kun? That's too far a stretch and too hilarious."

She giggled, too, for added effect. Yosuke couldn't muster up the energy to get angry anymore, so he chuckled along. "Yeah, fair enough." Seemed he was done for the day. He exhaled softly, put on that normal fake grin he was so good at. "Yo, Chie. You want this?"

Chie looked up, eager, then glanced to Narukami and stopped herself. "Wha-What? You really think I could eat two whole plates of food by myself?"

Narukami frowned at Yosuke, didn't look upset. Might be concerned. Understandable, since Yosuke had been the one to invite them along and now it was Yosuke who was getting ready to ditch out early. Some other time, maybe. Or maybe there wouldn't be another time. Yosuke would prefer the latter option, honestly. He shrugged. "Suit yourself. Anyway, sorry to jet--"

He stood up from the table and Narukami also stood. "Hanamura-san, please wait."

Narukami moved around the table to Yosuke's side. Yosuke wanted to scream at this guy. Was he for real? But no, no, smiling was the better choice here. A little confused laugh, a reassuring tone, that was all Yosuke needed. "Dude, sorry to be ducking out like this. I just got a lot of homework I gotta get done, y'know?"

Yosuke tried to wave Narukami off, but Narukami kept after Yosuke and goddamn Narukami was persistent. While Yosuke had Narukami distracted, however, Chie had slyly grabbed Yosuke's plate of food and began to eat it. Yosuke was glad to be of some use to someone, even if it had to be Chie and her endless hunger for meaty foods. Narukami, meanwhile, stood in Yosuke's way and met Yosuke head on, unwavering. "You left your bike at the school."

Well, shit. Yosuke hadn't been planning to make a trip all the way back out there for that piece of shit bike, especially since someone was sure to have popped the tires again, but now he had to. Leaving it there overnight would only make things worse and incur his father's wrath.

Yosuke allowed himself to hang his head and deflate. "Of course I did." Quickly, he straightened himself up with all that faked exuberant gusto. "Thanks for telling me, Narukami-san."

"I can walk back with you if that's all right?"

Narukami continued stepping in Yosuke's way, not letting Yosuke leave. What the hell was this? Yosuke's act became a bit strained, but he hadn't dropped the polite smile yet. "Nah, don't bother yourself. You haven't even finished eating."

"Really, it would be no trouble, Hanamura-san."

"I'm telling you, it's fine--"

Yosuke made to dive past Narukami but, because he was Yosuke and couldn't catch a goddamn break even if his life depended on it, tripped over his own fucking feet and fell right into Narukami. Because misfortune also liked to invite itself and others to the party and call it Yosuke's fault. Narukami, taken by surprise, toppled with Yosuke to the floor and a loud crack resulted from their landing.

Oh, great. Yosuke's clumsiness, or stupidity, had finally been the direct cause of death of something.

The crack was loud enough to startle Chie to her feet. She rushed over and crouched by them. "Narukami-kun! Oh my god, Yosuke. How can you be such a disaster zone?" She more or less shoved Yosuke off of Narukami and helped Narukami sit up. "Are you okay, Narukami-kun?"

"I -- yes."

Narukami didn't seem to be hurt. So there was a positive thing. Just the one. Yosuke really wanted to keep lying on the floor, done for the rest of his pathetic life, but he forced himself to sit up at least. Narukami was polite, would ask about it if Yosuke didn't. Though, currently, Narukami seemed more intent in digging through his bag. Shit, had Yosuke broken something in there?

Narukami made the most heart breaking expression, as if confirming Yosuke's fears, and looked up at Chie. "I'm sorry."

Oh no. Oh shit. Chie frowned, leaned over to try and see inside Narukami's bag. "What, what is it? It's not--"

She gasped. This couldn't be happening. No, Yosuke was dead for real now. Chie was going to murder him and she'd get away with it, too. She pulled a broken DVD case out of Narukami's bag, opened it gingerly. The DVD was cracked. Nope. Yosuke scrambled to his feet, ready to apologise and then run the hell outta there, but Chie was quicker on the draw. She stood and flung out a kick.

"Hey, you. Hold it right there, you jerk." Her kick connected, right to Yosuke's balls. It dropped him back to the floor. She huffed, a strange distraught tone to it. "You-You broke my Trial of the Dragon, Yosuke. How could you? Ohh, you better pay for this. I can't believe it, it's completely cracked."

Yosuke whimpered, curled up into as much of a ball as he could. "Sorry. I'm so sorry, Chie. I swear, my next pay check, I'll--"

"First you deny me steak, and now this? Ugh, let's go, Narukami-kun."

Chie grabbed Narukami's arm and pulled Narukami away. As they left, Narukami's quiet voice rose in protest. "Satonaka-san, it was an accident. Hanamura-san didn't mean to..."

"Of course he did." Chie yowled in response. "Seriously, Narukami-kun, I'm telling you.."

Then they were both incoherent, out of earshot. Yosuke uncurled himself, lay flat on his back and stared up at the bright ceiling lights. There was no questioning it now. First the trash can, then getting a critical hit to the nads. Narukami had to think Yosuke was a total loser. Hell, Yosuke couldn't blame anyone for thinking that by this point. Yosuke was a loser. A total failure of a human being. Chie was cruel to have left Yosuke alive.

Yosuke closed his eyes. What was the point of even trying anymore? This whole shitty town hated him, reminded him every day of how much they wanted him dead. He might as well finally comply with their wishes.

"Hana-chan, need any help there?"

Saki-senpai's familiar, soft voice came from above him as her shadow blocked out the lights. He opened his eyes to see her leaning over him, staring him down steadily. She'd even used her once nickname for him, how perfect. He needed more than just help. He needed an escape. Still, no need to drag her into it again. He forced on that fucking fake smile, a sorry attempt at reassuring her. "Thanks, but I got it handled. No worries."

She nodded easily enough, stood back to allow Yosuke the room to sit up. Yosuke's legs were still more jelly than solid, so he decided to wait a while longer before trying to stand up. Saki-senpai lingered there behind him. She'd get in trouble if she didn't get back to work. Unless she was taking a break. He turned to face her, to urge her not to concern herself with him, but she ended up speaking first. "I'm sorry, Hana-chan."

Her tone was way too serious. Yosuke gulped and tried to laugh it off. To make light of things. It was all he had left. "It's all right, really. Not your fault I'm a screw up."

She seemed ready to reply right away, then closed her mouth. After a moment, she continued. "You've got it way worse than I did, but I was still selfish. That's what I wanted to apologise about."

She smiled as well, just as fake as all of Yosuke's. He probably should have had some sort of emotional response to this (angry? Disappointed? Sad?), but currently there was a dark, empty void in his chest. Helpful in that he'd become entirely numb and the pain had passed. He stood, frowned at her in confusion. Her smile dropped, replaced by a stony expression.

"I have a little brother, too, you know. And my parents. So I understand. For us, there is no easy way out."

She nodded to him, then left to return to her station. Yosuke understood that was meant as a warning of sorts. Unfortunately, he'd all ready reached his limits and made up his mind. He shook his head, then left Junes. Headed back towards school. It was a bit of a trek, especially because all of Yosuke's limbs seemed heavy as lead and just as cooperative. Once there, he located his bike and, yep, the tires were slashed once again. He didn't have the energy to attempt to ride home on this death trap, so he walked it home.

The noise filled in around him. Older women's voices, mostly. The ones who frequented Junes and walked around the shopping district. Nothing better to do than gossip.

"There's that brat, that Hanamura kid."

"He looks terrible."

"Good."

"Ugh, look at the state of that bike he's got."

"Never mind the bike, look at his uniform. You'd think he was rolling about on a dirty floor."

"Such a disgraceful state he presents himself in."

"How can his parents run that store if they can't even keep their children in any sort of presentable state?"

Their disgust and loathing came through crystal clear. Yosuke didn't bother putting his headphones on to drown them out. Not this time. What were a few more jabs while he was down? They wouldn't have to gossip behind his back for much longer. They didn't have to concern themselves over 'that Junes kid' anymore. Yosuke wouldn't disgrace his family for another day.

Yosuke arrived home, which was more of the same. His mother's tone was kind, asking if Yosuke had any Sunday plans. Teddie was exuberant and too loud. His father complained about work things and turned the news up to a deafening volume. Yosuke went through the motions mostly, then said he was tired and turning in early. His mother promised to save him some dinner in case he was hungry later.

It'd been too long since Yosuke actually felt hungry enough to eat more than a few bites of whatever. Food had mostly lost its taste to him, anyway. Why bother eating?

He brushed his teeth, cleaned off his uniform, then lay in bed for a long time staring up into the dark. He had a belt tucked beneath his bed, right by the fake love notes he'd saved, for easy reaching. Hopefully, this plan would work. Nobody had to concern themselves over Yosuke Hanamura, the Junes kid, a disappointing and unlucky complete and utter failure, bringer of misfortune and suffering. Not if the world allowed Yosuke this one freedom.

Sunday was mostly uneventful, as Yosuke agreed to work all day with his father. Teddie bounced around the store in that silly mascot uniform and Yosuke received several complaints about it, but it didn't matter. The kid was harmless and having fun, not shoving propaganda down their throats like they claimed. It wasn't like they were trying to advertise in the middle of the shopping district. It wasn't like any of this mattered to Yosuke anymore.

The rest of the day passed by in a fog, with Yosuke not really paying attention to anything. Just vague events (Saki-senpai's little brother came in to tell Yosuke off, Yosuke's dad told him they'd be getting some new part-timers to pick up the slack, Yosuke's mother made something good for dinner that Yosuke didn't eat) until Yosuke was in bed, waiting. Teddie had been surprisingly quiet getting into bed. Must've been told to settle down for the night, or tired from playing all day. Soon enough, Teddie was snoring and the rest of the house went silent as their parents headed up the creaky stairs to turn in for the night.

Yosuke was patient, serenely so, until enough time had passed. Then he slowly, mechanically, got out of bed.


	4. Just a Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperation takes hold. A small, scared bear has to live with that image.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, this one's the one that needs the warning the most, so:  
> Trigger Warning for Suicide Attempt!!
> 
> Nothing graphic or anything is described, but if that ain't your cup of tea, then I'd skip this chapter if I were you.  
> That out of the way, here we go..

[Interlude - Just a Game]

 

Yosuke had the belt tightened around his neck, ready to go, when the bathroom door opened. Shit. Teddie, sweet bleary-eyed and half-asleep Teddie, stood there staring up at Yosuke while rubbing one eye sleepily. Yosuke had been caught, a deer in the headlights.

Teddie stared, not fully realising, and neither of them made a move. Honestly, Yosuke hadn't prepared for this. He hadn't given a single thought as to what might happen if he'd be caught or when he'd get found. And for it to be Teddie, of all the possibilities. Yosuke's gut sank as the panic settled in.

Teddie finally spoke and broke the silence with a quiet, subdued voice, completely uncharacteristic of the normal boisterous tone his voice usually had. "Yosu-niichan..?"

Teddie also sounded terrified, confused, close to tears. That kicked Yosuke's brain into gear. "Hey--" He choked as he tried to move forward. The belt, right. Teddie's eyes widened in panic and Yosuke scrambled to unbuckle the clasp, to pull himself down off the precarious hanging situation. Yosuke managed it quickly enough and crouched down to be at eye level with Teddie. "Hey, hey there, little bro. What-What are you doing up?"

Yosuke spoke a bit too quick, that panic really flying through him. He had to keep it together, otherwise this would end in Teddie crying loudly and their parents being disappointed in Yosuke even more so than they all ready were. Teddie sniffled, still quiet. "I-I had to pee."

Of course. Yosuke grinned, though it was faked and forced and oh god he needed to play this off so Teddie wouldn't freak out. "Ah, sorry. I wasn't--I didn't mean to scare you. Okay? I was just--I was only--"

"Yosu-niichan." Teddie's voice trembled from the coming tears. Shit, shit, shit. "Wh-What were you doing?"

"Uhh." Crap. Yosuke had the worst damage control. Teddie was only eleven, how was Yosuke supposed to make this seem like not that big of a deal? Yosuke laughed softly, his nerves shot and showing despite his best efforts to hide that. "Nothing, nothing. Just-just trying some stupid game I'd heard a rumour about in school. It's-it's all right, it's nothing, it wasn't working anyways."

Teddie continued to sniffle, bowed his head in the end. "Oh. Okay."

"You." Yosuke paused haltingly. There was no way Teddie would just go back to bed after that. Especially since Teddie had gotten up to pee in the first place. Yosuke let out a slow breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "You go ahead and pee, all right? I'm going back to bed."

"Um." Teddie grabbed for Yosuke as Yosuke tried to hurry out past Teddie. Though Teddie didn't end up catching Yosuke, Yosuke paused anyway and glanced back at Teddie. Please, Yosuke pleaded, please let Teddie want something simple and not anything about what just happened. Teddie withdrew his outstretched hand and still seemed to be in that haze of barely awake. "Will you wait for me out here, big bro? Until I'm done?"

Yosuke nodded quickly, grinned that goddamn fake grin. "Sure. Now go on, before you wet your pants."

"I'm not you, stupid Yosu-niichan."

Teddie stuck his tongue out at Yosuke, then closed the bathroom door. Yosuke slumped against the wall and allowed himself the time to breathe. His heart was hammering away at his chest and a bunch of sweat was beading on the back of his neck, cold and clammy. God, Teddie would probably be haunted by the image of his stupid older brother with a makeshift noose around his neck for the rest of the night. Yosuke was such a failure. He couldn't even try to end his own miserable life without fucking it up. All those biting comments and harsh voices were right. But how was Yosuke supposed to give in?

Teddie finished and Yosuke walked with Teddie back to their room. Teddie kept his his head down and his expression out of Yosuke's view. Kid also clung to Yosuke's night shirt the whole way. Yosuke was the absolute worst. His eyes burned, shameful tears trying to get their comeuppance on him, too. But Yosuke didn't have enough energy to cry.

Once back in their room, Teddie refused to let go of Yosuke's shirt. Yosuke couldn't deal with this, couldn't muster the nerve to lie like this to Teddie twice in one sitting. Yosuke cleared his throat a bit louder than he meant, but it got Teddie's attention all the same. "C'mon, bro. Bedtime."

Teddie clung closer to Yosuke. "Can I – um." Teddie's voice was soft and hesitant and Yosuke couldn't get a good read on Teddie as long as Teddie kept his head down damn it. "Big bro, can I sleep with you tonight?"

Teddie was scared. Yosuke had scared his tiny, unsuspecting younger brother. God, this was so fucked up. Yosuke's breath caught, but he kept his voice steady. "N-No."

That got Teddie to look up at Yosuke and yep, Teddie was crying. Yosuke hadn't wanted any of this. He'd just wanted all of this to end all ready, to cease being a burden on his family and this shitty awful town. Saki-senpai had been right after all. And everything sucked.

Yosuke held his ground. He couldn't deal with any of this. "No, Teds, c'mon. You're too old to be sleeping with your big bro. You're supposed to be a big, strong, fearless bear, remember?"

Yosuke chuckled softly. It may not have been genuine, but it sounded pretty good. Teddie smiled a little and nodded. Yosuke pulled Teddie's hand off of his shirt gently.

"Right. Good. Now-Now go to bed, okay? We've got school tomorrow and mom's gonna read us the riot act if we sleep in again."

Teddie nodded again, this time more exuberant. Teddie paused a moment, unsure of something, then hopped over to his bed and jumped in. God, how could Yosuke have done this to a kid like Teddie? Yosuke shook his head, his façade dropping. He climbed into his own bed, making sure to put the belt away back underneath it, and flopped face first into his pillow. So much for all of that. The world wasn't about to let a little careful planning go well for Yosuke. No, Yosuke had to be trapped in this Hell with nothing around to change that.

This place would kill him way later than sooner. And it wouldn't even have the courtesy of letting Yosuke do it himself.

Yosuke didn't sleep well and woke up long before Teddie. Yosuke took a moment to sit in his bed and contemplate things. Mostly how to apologise to Teddie without admitting that Teddie caught Yosuke before Yosuke could end things. Yosuke decided to leave things the way they were and got ready for school, then headed downstairs. He didn't eat any breakfast despite the gaping hole in his chest.

And when Teddie came down all smiles and just as jubilant as before, well, Yosuke certainly deserved that.


	5. Nurse's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wished we got to see more of Kou and Daisuke interacting with Yosuke. They seemed like they'd make good friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister aptly called this "panic attack: the chapter". But, hey! At least we get to see the sportsball duo in this one!

[Part 3 - Nurse's Office]

 

"Hanamura-san, good morning."

Narukami called over to Yosuke, jogged even to catch up with where Yosuke was ahead of Narukami. Initially, Yosuke panicked. Last night was too rough for this to be happening so early in the morning and Yosuke was in no state to handle this calmly. He couldn't handle any more sucker punches, he needed a day to even himself out. And because of his panic, Narukami had the time to catch up. Yosuke plastered on his fake grin, tried not to seem like he was five seconds from breaking. "Yo, morning."

Narukami smiled in return, way too polite for what happened on Saturday. "I wanted to apologise about the other day and Satonaka-san's intrusion. Perhaps I could treat you later today?"

"No." Yosuke had to reel back. That came out a bit too forceful, too mean. He laughed, waved a hand dismissively. Hopefully, that could cover it up. "No, it's okay. I promised I'd treat you, and I'm a man of my word." He winked. Then smiled softer. "Thanks, though."

Narukami frowned. "But you said you didn't have the money for it."

"It-It's not that." Yosuke near shouted because that was such a dangerous thing to say in this area and all ready there were so many eyes glaring at Yosuke with the intent to rip him to shreds. Narukami blinked, taken aback by Yosuke's sudden volume. So far, Narukami remained blissfully ignorant and holy crap how was that even possible? Yosuke hunched up his shoulders, embarrassment tingeing his face red. "W-Well. Okay, it's a little that, I don't have enough right now on me to buy two steaks and a new DVD for Chie, but I'll get my paycheck soon and then I can treat you and things'll be fine."

As a welcome gesture. A 'hey, I know what it's like to be a transfer kid from the city and I can sympathise' type of gesture. A pathetic, hollow attempt to maybe buy at least one friend, since that seemed to be the only way Yosuke could even make friends. There was no way Narukami could think of Yosuke as anything other than a desperate loser. Yosuke's mind was going a mile a minute and everything was wrong but he had to pretend things were good, things were fine, everything was all right and nothing was wrong at all.

Narukami, thankfully, backed down in the end and gave a quiet, "All right, if you insist."

Damn right Yosuke would insist. Desperate for a change of subject and to possibly escape Narukami's weird bubble of ignorant bliss, Yosuke grasped at the first thought he could come up with: school. He wasn't going to read any of the shit in his locker today, it was all going into the trash without exception. Not really something substantial to talk about. They were standing there, not walking along with the flow. Yosuke would take it. "Crap, we better hurry before we're late."

Narukami's eyes widened slightly, the only indication that the topic switch had worked, then they were jogging together to get to class on time. Narukami laughed, good natured about it, and Yosuke joined in. Having fun like this, pretending for a moment they could be friends, it was almost enough to make Yosuke cry. His laughter became more hysterical, but he kept himself from tipping over that edge. He'd been practicing at it for the past six months; he had to be a master at it by this point.

They managed to get inside the school gates with time to spare. Of course. They'd ended up racing each other at full sprint (and Yosuke had only won because he had a penchant for speed and Narukami just happened to be slower) and, true to his word, Yosuke dumped every note and letter that'd been shoved in his locker into the trash. That'd probably come back to bite him in the ass, but he could worry about it later. Right now he was out of breath and off-balance, enough to want to just put his head down on his desk and cry for the rest of forever, but he was going to ride high off this adrenaline to keep himself going. Just for today.

He really needed to get through today. That was all. That was all.

Yosuke went to class, plopped down into his seat behind Narukami, and tried to put it out of his mind. He really did try. He really did. Unfortunately, his brain kept distracting him by bringing up every single worst possible scenario that could happen. Everything from being forced into therapy to being locked up and forever known as that kid who lost it during high school. That despicable Junes kid who'd become a basket case, a removed threat. Oh god, what would his dad say? How would his mom react when she found out? Would they agree to send him away and let him escape? But where could they send him that wasn't a madhouse? No one would want to deal with the annoying failure, the Junes brat who broke under a little pressure.

No, he was trapped here, with these people. They'd kill him in the most painful, drawn out process possible. And maybe Yosuke deserved it by this point.

"C'mon, ya city brat, pay attention when your teacher's asking you a question. Or are you just too cool to pay attention to any authority figure in your life?"

Then King Moron was shouting at Yosuke and shocked Yosuke back into the present. Yosuke had been so far gone he hadn't even been aware that there'd been a question asked of him. Yet here they were with King Moron glaring down his nose at Yosuke and Yosuke reluctant to even acknowledge that he'd been spoken to. Ignoring it wasn't exactly an option by this point, unfortunately. Yosuke got to his feet, reluctant and still not holding himself together all that well but meeting King Moron's gaze head on.

"It's the refraction of light."

Before Yosuke could admit he hadn't heard the question and therefore didn't know the answer, Narukami had whispered the answer back at Yosuke so subtly that Yosuke wasn't even completely sure Narukami had said it. Yosuke was taken off-guard enough to parrot the words as an inquiry, dumb and unsure. The class watched on silently and King Moron's face went red in anger. Had the answer even been correct? Or was it a joke? Did Narukami help out of friendliness or was it sabotage?

King Moron snarled out his next words. "Siddown, city boy."

Yosuke did so. The class buzzed for a moment, none of it pleasant, until King Moron shouted at them to shut up and pay attention. They were all angry. A fitting punishment, really. Yosuke would've preferred to get the question wrong and have them all laugh rather than this hostility in the air. He couldn't take this, not today.

Narukami glanced back at Yosuke, a reassuring smile on his face. Now Yosuke owed Narukami even more. Was this the plan? What use would it be to have someone as worthless as Yosuke indebted? Still, Yosuke smiled in reply. "Thanks for saving my ass there, man."

It was forced and Yosuke hoped it hid how freaked out he was about this whole thing. Narukami nodded, then returned to listening to the lecture and facing forward like a model student. All of a sudden, Yosuke was filled with bile and red hot fury. This transfer student had everything Yosuke had been denied. The students and, by extension, the whole town liked Narukami. They were enthralled with his very presence. Chie and Yukiko had sought Narukami out, had wanted to be friends with him right away. No doubt he was smart, too, and would ace everything the teachers had to throw at him. And he was a city kid, a foreign commodity who was new and a limited time offer.

Why the hell was Narukami allowed to have the perfect experience with this shitty, shitty town when Yosuke had been denied it? When Yosuke had been given the exact opposite treatment? Narukami could move out if he wanted, could leave this place and be done with it once they graduated. Yosuke was stuck here until the day he died and he hated Narukami for that.

As soon as the lunch bell rang, Yosuke stood and left the classroom, headed for the bathrooms on the first floor. He knew it wasn't the best place to hide, but he couldn't go to the roof again and outright ditching wasn't an option. The bathroom, luckily, seemed empty when Yosuke entered. He chose the stall furthest from the door, made sure to lock it, then sat scrunched up on the toilet and held his hands to his head.

He cried loud, noisy tears with wracking sobs. He cried out of his frustration on this whole situation, his own pettiness, the suspense of when Narukami would turn on him like every other person in town. He cried out of terror of being found out, of Teddie telling their parents, of being outed as a pathetic spineless lunatic who was broken from the pressure. Yosuke cried because goddamnit these shitty emotions were too much to be dealing with as one person against the whole town. It was too overwhelming. He couldn't handle it anymore, he was slipping, couldn't keep faking like he was unaffected by it all.

He was just a kid. It hadn't been his fault. He was a worthless piece of garbage. He deserved to die.

Voices approached from outside. Yosuke couldn't tell who they were, partially from how loud he sounded to himself and partially from how disconnected he had forced himself to be with his surroundings. Was lunch over? Were classes finished for the day? He didn't have a shift today, so where was he going to waste time until he absolutely had to go home?

More concerning at the moment, the voices had entered the bathroom and now sounded like they were standing right outside the stall Yosuke was using. Yosuke had to stop crying, had to calm himself down enough to at least understand what they were saying. They sounded distressed, but then pretty much everything seemed layered with distress right now.

"If you don't open the door, Hanamura-kun, I'm breaking it down."

"He's serious, Yosuke-san. Please, open up."

By the way they were addressing him, he could tell the voices belonged to Daisuke and Kou. And Daisuke could indeed break through the bathroom stall door if he tried. At least Yosuke could understand them now. That would have to do for the time being. Yosuke exhaled (or, tried to; it was mostly impossible with how clogged his nose had become) and got down from the toilet. He didn't have much time to come up with a good excuse here. He opened the door, resolved not to concern himself with that.

Daisuke, who'd been just about ready to ram the door shoulder first, jumped back. On looking up to see Yosuke's face, Daisuke's expression became dumbfounded. Kou, similarly, had smiled at first in relief, but quickly lost the smile and turned concerned. Since they were at a loss for anything to say, Yosuke had to think of something. Anything. Not the truth. He tried for a smile, it ended up weak and unconvincing. Better than nothing. "Sorry for causing a disruption. I was--"

Yosuke had to stop himself there. What had he been doing? Any sort of explanation just painted him as a disappointing loser. He frowned, shoulders drooping and losing that paper-thin façade. Daisuke and Kou shared a look, though about what Yosuke couldn't quite tell. Then Daisuke placed a hand on Yosuke's shoulder and pulled Yosuke the rest of the way out of the stall. "Nurse's office."

Yosuke shrunk back, though not enough to pull out of Daisuke's grip. "N-No, no, I'm fine. Really, it's just--"

"Nurse's office." Kou joined in, pointing an accusing finger at Yosuke. "No getting out of this one."

Yosuke grimaced, but stopped protesting and let them herd him out of the bathroom and to the nurse's office. If they were both going to be this stubborn about it, then there was no way Yosuke could get out of it. They could easily overpower Yosuke together, though Yosuke might've been just slippery enough to give them a good run for it.

It wasn't worth the effort right now.

Daisuke pulled Yosuke into the nurse's office, Kou provided the explanation (something akin to allergies or exhaustion), then they had Yosuke resting in one of the beds. Daisuke sat in a chair beside the bed, glaring at Yosuke with his arms crossed. Kou sat on the foot of the bed, much less serious and intimidating. "So, Yosuke-san. Wanna talk about it?"

Kou certainly had a much more amicable tone and air about him than Daisuke. Yosuke wasn't about to let that fool him. He kept his gaze down at the bed, refused to look at either of them. "It's -- nothing I can't handle. Really."

"Bullshit." Daisuke scoffed. He was absolutely correct, that had been a bold-faced lie, but Yosuke couldn't let them get too close. No one could get close, Yosuke had to weather this alone. No one else needed to get hurt like Saki-senpai. Daisuke, having gotten no reaction from Yosuke, continued. "You wouldn't have been bawling your eyes out if you could handle it."

If Yosuke could handle it, he wouldn't have had that moment of weakness last night. He shook his head slowly. "Go back to class, guys."

Daisuke made an aggravated noise, but stood. Kou huffed, though didn't respond. They left. Succinct, polite, distant. As it should be. Yosuke flopped back on the bed and stared up at the infirmary ceiling. He was so over crying and being this mess of emotions. He thought of putting on his music, of drowning everything out to get a nap in.

He reached for his headphones and held onto them, but didn't put them on. The idea was nice, but worthless. Everything was worthless and it was only a matter of time before it caught up to him again like this. Maybe next time, he'd have suffered enough to be allowed to end it all. Unlikely, but a welcoming fantasy for the moment.

Yosuke lowered his hands and rested them on top of his chest. He closed his eyes, wishing with all his heart to not wake up.

His dreams were a mess of voices, faces, and tones. Some were accusing, calling him out on his weakness. Some were just there, silent and watching. Yosuke had the belt around his neck and someone was pulling it tight, tight, cackling all the while.

He awoke with a jerk, slipping and falling off the bed and landing hard on the floor in the end. He groaned, chalked it up to his overzealous movements, and sat up. He checked his phone and, sure enough, classes were over by now. Clubs would be, too. Yosuke had slept for too long and they'd left him here unchecked. He stood, stretched out all of his joints and got quite a few cracks. No time like right now to return home and see if any more damage control needed to be done.

The curtains opened and Narukami poked his head inside. "Hanamura-san, good afternoon."

Of all people, Yosuke hadn't expected Narukami to be the one to greet Yosuke when he woke up. Still, no harm in continuing the polite act. Yosuke grinned in greeting, it coming easier now that he'd gotten some rest. "Yo, what're you still doing here so late?"

"Checking out some of the clubs." Narukami entered past the curtains, had that very polite smile. "Ichijo-san and Nagase-san told me that you'd need the notes for today's classes, too."

Yosuke's grin faded. Those two sought out Narukami to help out Yosuke. The sports nerds of the school who never hated Yosuke, yet were only polite acquaintances. Better than any of Yosuke's friends from the city. He bowed his head, found he was still smiling. Not a forced or fake one, but an actual, genuine smile. "Uh. Thanks, dude. You didn't have to."

This was embarrassing enough, now Yosuke had to go and show this sort of raw emotion to someone. Well, shit. Narukami definitely noticed, but continued the polite act. "I wanted to, it was no problem."

Yosuke laughed, harsher than he'd meant to. "You wanted to?"

"Of course." Narukami seemed taken aback, his smile fading to confusion. "Is that -- why is that funny?"

It wasn't funny, really. Yosuke was just used to the way everyone ridiculed him for thinking they were all decent human beings. Not really something that could easily be conveyed to Narukami, who was still an outsider. Still Mister New in town, with no concept of how much of a loser Yosuke was. Maybe. Yosuke decided, in the end, it was better to ignore it. "Well, anyways, thanks."

"Hanamura-san, that doesn't answer my question."

Narukami frowned, looked annoyed now. Good. Yosuke wasn't sure why exactly he wanted to actively aggravate Narukami, but also didn't argue with himself about it. "Any of the clubs grab your interest? I hear that the drama club and band are looking for new members."

Kou and Daisuke would also love to recruit Narukami for the teams, but if they all ready met with Narukami, they'd probably mentioned it. Knowing them, Yosuke wouldn't even have to bring it up. Narukami, thankfully, let the subject drop and exhaled. "I haven't decided yet."

"Well, no worries. There are still a few weeks left to think about it." Yosuke winked and grinned, his usual. It was nice to be able to slip right back into the exuberant façade, to pretend nothing happened and that things could continue the same as ever. "But, as mentioned before--"

"Are you joining any clubs?"

Narukami stared at Yosuke, direct and unabashed. This guy asked all sorts of weird questions. Then again, as Yosuke had to keep reminding himself, Narukami was new and not yet indicted into the whole small town mindset. Yosuke had a truthful excuse for this, at least. "Ah, no, I can't. My schedule's pretty unpredictable and busy sometimes with work."

And even though they were getting some new part timers soon, Yosuke's schedule wouldn't calm down anytime soon. Besides, there may not have been a club that even wanted him. Besides Kou and Daisuke's teams, at least. Narukami made a soft sound of understanding, so maybe Yosuke could get away with this. Narukami, however, didn't seem deterred at all. "Why is it funny that I would want to help you?"

Narukami smiled, though there was something terrifying about it, and tilted his head slightly. A good show of faux innocence. Yosuke might've needed to be more careful around this guy than he first thought. Had Narukami been grilling Chie or Yukiko like this, too? Maybe not so perfect after all.

Yosuke pushed that sentiment aside, grappled for a good way to explain this without really needing to explain it.

"Uhh. It's not -- I mean, I wasn't laughing at-laughing at you for that, more laughing at. Um, at myself?" He was panicking and started speaking too fast again, rushing to get the words out. "Oh god I'm so sorry I didn't mean to make it sound like I was laughing at you or anything I wasn't thinking I'm sorry I didn't even consider--"

Narukami held up a hand, stopped Yosuke in the midst of his babbling. At least Narukami seemed polite about it all, but maybe that was just to make the inevitable so much worse. "It's all right. Here are the notes."

Narukami pulled some papers out of his school bag to hand Yosuke. Trying to be done with this, polite as possible, because Yosuke was a fuck up and annoying. Yosuke accepted the papers, plastered on that fake grin of exuberance. "Thanks, dude."

He meant to add, 'you're a lifesaver' on that statement, but the words caught in his throat. Narukami hadn't saved Yosuke's life. No one had. Yosuke had screwed up, same as every other time Yosuke had tried to get something done. That was all it was.

Narukami gave a short, "You're welcome" and left the room. Yosuke didn't hate the guy. Narukami had just as much to deal with as Yosuke did. As anyone did. And even if it was all somehow a ploy or an act, it was nice to be treated like a person again. Yosuke took a deep breath, then exhaled through his nose. He had to find Daisuke and Kou to thank them for this. For also treating Yosuke like a person. Though probably not in those words exactly, that'd be a bit weird.

He'd made it through the day, at the very least. Kind of. He had the rest of the week to go, but then he'd get his paycheck and be able to replace Chie's DVD. With any luck, he'd have enough left to treat Narukami to the steak, because politeness deserved to be repaid.

Things would continue, go back to normal, and Yosuke would have to deal with living his life until he could escape this god-awful place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are gonna slow down after this one, sorry about that.  
> Thank you to everyone reading this, though! ;w; I'm overwhelmed by the amount of feedback I've gotten all ready and truly wish to thank every one of you! //;;


	6. Friendship?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Narukami is, Yosuke decides, definitely, unquestioningly, very weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never even eaten an egg salad sandwich before.
> 
> Thanks again to Tega for being a wonderful beta~ also I didn't expect this chapter to end up being 7000 words long whoops.  
> To answer those of you wondering if Narukami will investigate and interrogate others about the matter: this chapter is for you.

[Part 4 - Friendship?]

 

When they'd returned from Golden Week and all the notes were hostile about the matter, that was when Yosuke realised how deep in he'd gotten.

"What makes you so special, Junes kid?"

"Stop hogging the transfer student, he doesn't even like you."

"You don't have the right to be speaking to him, you two are worlds apart."

"The transfer student's too good for you, Junes kid."

"So you're as weird as Tatsumi-kun? That's the only explanation I can find as to why you're keeping the transfer student all to yourself."

"He's too polite to tell you, so I'll say it: You're annoying, Hanamura. Leave him alone."

At least they outnumbered the notes telling Yosuke to go kill himself. Not that his locker fared any better because of it.

It'd been less than a month! They weren't even friends! Besides, he'd tried getting Narukami to stop talking to him, it wasn't working! Granted, most of Yosuke's methods were subtle as hell, because stating something so directly was sure to cause some backlash, but Narukami should've taken the hint by now. Narukami seemed incredibly stubborn about it, continuing to talk to Yosuke and seek Yosuke out for these talks.

God, that guy would drive Yosuke crazy before Yosuke's disappointing charms could drive him away.

Maybe they really had become friends somehow? Yosuke had taken Narukami out for steak during Golden Week (and his younger cousin Nanako had tagged along, she had been really cute and polite) and nothing had really gone wrong. Narukami shoved some money on Yosuke to pay for Chie's DVD replacement and despite Yosuke's attempts to not accept it, Yosuke still had the money shoved in the bottom of his bag. And while they'd been walking through the shopping district once some of the hags there badmouthed Yosuke as usual, but Yosuke had brushed it off even when Narukami called them rude.

Did those moments really make Narukami a friend? Did Narukami consider Yosuke a friend because of that? How could that be any kind of starting point for a friendship with Yosuke, of all people?

At least Chie was still normal. Yosuke had given her the DVD replacement for her precious Trial of the Dragon and she'd kicked him in the shins for it. That was still something Yosuke could predict.

Either way, if the rest of the students had noticed it, then it was a huge problem. Yosuke had to seriously stop talking to Narukami and get Narukami to back off. It had to happen sooner or later anyway. If Yosuke was the one to break it off, then it would at least be on Yosuke's own terms for once.

It really had begun with lunch times. Starting the day after that incident at the nurse's office, Narukami had taken to chatting with Yosuke (when Yosuke didn't immediately bolt) while they sat and ate. Well, Narukami ate, always had a homemade lunch to eat. Yosuke'd stopped bringing a lunch ever since he'd stopped getting hungry.

"Don't you have a lunch?" Narukami asked once.

Narukami was very observant, Yosuke had discovered. Yosuke tried to laugh it off, gave the explanation he'd came up with a while back when Miss Sofue found him huddled next to the stairs one lunch. "Nah, I usually get something after classes, before work."

Narukami frowned, but accepted the explanation with a surprising lack of fuss. Yosuke considered the matter settled then and didn't bother giving it any more thought.

Now, however, he had to figure out how to escape these little chats with Narukami. Yosuke had to distance himself, stop being so friendly or polite, to make sure the situation with Saki-senpai didn't happen again. Narukami seemed like a genuinely nice guy, Yosuke didn't want any of this hate to get misdirected at Narukami. Especially because Narukami was only there for the one year, it didn't have to be a shitty experience if Yosuke could help it.

Besides, everyone was right anyway. Narukami was too good to even be associated with a loser like Yosuke. Yosuke would be doing Narukami a huge favour by cutting this off before the hate could really start.

Yosuke planned it out very carefully. He'd stand up when it came time for lunch and walk off. If Narukami tried to ask, Yosuke wouldn't even respond. God, he all ready felt like such a dick for this.

But that was the point.

The rest of the class would criticise how rude that Junes brat had been to the transfer student. Narukami would have to agree with them. Then they'd be able to go their separate ways and Narukami would become another face in the crowd, another part of the town that despised Yosuke so. And Yosuke would keep ignoring Narukami for as long as it took to get this to happen.

Narukami probably didn't even realise how lucky he was that the town had so unanimously accepted him. If the plan worked out, then Narukami would never need to realise how good he had it compared to how shitty Yosuke's situation was.

Lunchtime came and Yosuke took a moment to prep himself for the big event. All he had to do was stand up and walk away. He just had to ignore Narukami, ignore the rest of the class, and walk out. Yosuke could do this. He had to do this. Narukami turned around in his seat, facing Yosuke, and plopped his lunch down on Yosuke's desk. "Got a treat today."

Narukami smiled, confident and smug. That was an expression Yosuke hadn't seen before. It was new and intriguing enough to make Yosuke momentarily forget about his plan. "A treat?" He grinned along, amused. "What do you mean by that?"

The faked ease and casualness came easier than he expected. That was nice. Narukami opened the bento and pulled out half of a sandwich. The bread was the familiar square and thick slices any person would be familiar with, but as a sandwich? Yosuke couldn't help it, his curiosity won over.

"Woah, seriously? Dude, how American can you get?"

"Technically, it's not just an American thing." Narukami offered the sandwich to Yosuke, smiling all the while. Like a cat that'd just caught a fish. "And I don't have any peanut butter yet. It's chicken, want to try?"

"Ah, man, I--" Yosuke meant to turn that offer down. He really did. It'd be too forward and wasn't he supposed to be distancing himself from Narukami anyways? Wasn't he supposed to be stopping their apparent friendship? Yosuke's curiosity, however, had been piqued. This was a rare chance to try something new. And, even though he wasn't really that hungry, he could eat. "I gotta try this. I mean, thanks, dude."

He accepted the sandwich half against his better judgement but Narukami looked way too pleased about it. Narukami did make all of his own lunches, so sharing it with Yosuke like this must've been a really kind gesture. Yosuke had to make sure to savour it. And, if he was being honest with himself, Yosuke didn't want to give up this friendship with Narukami. It wasn't smart, as it'd suck once the mob turned on Narukami for associating with Yosuke, eventually turning Narukami on Yosuke, but it was nice to have some companionship for once. It was nice to be treated like a human being.

He shrugged it off and took a bite of the sandwich. He could save the plan for another day. For now, he could enjoy some good foreign eats. He hummed as he chewed, closing his eyes in bliss. "Damn, man, this is delicious. You cooked the chicken yourself, right?"

"Y-Yes, thank you." Narukami's smile became bewildered. "I'll admit, I didn't think. It's just a sandwich."

He thought Yosuke was overreacting about it. Yosuke grinned at the opportunity. "Yeah, sure, 'just a sandwich' seems like not a big thing to you, but here, it's like, novel. You get this sort of thing in cafés, like tiny ones as treats, but this is a lunch by itself. And, dude, I don't know if you've had anyone tell you this before, but you're a damn good cook."

Yosuke ended up giving a wink at the end of his babble, which Narukami seemed taken aback by. Even the rest of the class seemed interested by this foreign and new thing, though they were doing a good job of pretending not to eavesdrop. Narukami bit his tongue a moment (was he embarrassed? Yosuke hadn't expected him to be such an embodiment of a true Japanese gentleman), then moved the topic on asking about how Yosuke's work was going. Yosuke, in response, asked if Narukami had found any part-time work yet in town. Boring, casual, polite conversation.

And people thought they were friends because of this.

Then again, any reason to get angry at Yosuke.

The next day, Yosuke didn't stick around (though, it didn't really seem like Narukami would've asked him to stay this time) and escaped to the roof. Weirdly enough, he ran into Kujikawa up there. She mentioned that Yosuke was being totally unfair for monopolising a lot of the transfer student's time (which he tried to refute even if she wouldn't hear any of it), then left him to himself.

Being alone on the roof was really refreshing. There was so much less noise up here than in the rest of Inaba. In the rest of Yasogami, for that matter.

Yosuke had work after classes, so he also escaped a potential walking home with Narukami event (as it looked as if Narukami was gearing up to ask Yosuke about it. Probably wanted to ask Yosuke if he'd studied at all, tests were fast approaching and while yes, Yosuke was so not prepared for any of it, it'd be better if he just failed like he always did). As he walked to Junes, his gaze resolutely focused on the ground, he told himself that this was working well all ready, that he could do this. As long as he stuck to his busy schedule, he could do this. It was for the best.

Sunday, Yosuke hung around the Samegawa floodplain before work. Narukami texted him exactly three time, once asking if he needed any help studying, then apologising for interrupting Yosuke's work, and finally wishing Yosuke a good day. It took all of his self control to not chuck his phone into the river at that last one.

Then Monday came and Yosuke didn't leave right away like he'd planned (he fumbled just long enough with shoving his things into his school bag) and Narukami managed to catch him with a question: "No lunch today, either?"

Yosuke bristled. By this point, he had every right to be defensive, to be hostile. He reigned that in, however, in favour of a friendly grin and a wink. "Don't worry about it. I told you, I just get something before work."

That lie was better than nothing. Narukami looked down at his desk, contemplative. "You have work today, even though tests start tomorrow?"

Yosuke shrugged his bag over his shoulder. "It sucks, but not like I was gonna pass any of 'em, anyway--"

"Unacceptable." Narukami swiftly pulled out two bento and plopped one down on Yosuke's desk. "I brought these and we're going to eat them and study as much as we can."

Yosuke immediately tensed, his hands clenching into fists and his teeth grinding together. What the hell was Narukami's problem? How could this guy be so dense as to not take the hint all ready? And still, (and still!), Yosuke slowly sat back down in his seat. "Dude. You didn't have to--"

"I wanted to." Narukami met Yosuke's eyes, unwavering and stubborn. Narukami was quickly revealing himself to be a force that Yosuke couldn't just ignore, couldn't just bank on subtle and passive methods to get rid of. This was a headache and a half he hadn't anticipated. Narukami smiled again, very cat-like, though it didn't reach his eyes. "And to find out what it is, you'll have to open it to see."

"You--!" Yosuke recoiled back in his seat, groaning in frustration. Just as he'd been figuring out how to deal with Narukami, the tricky bastard had been figuring out how to manipulate Yosuke's sense of curiosity. And Yosuke, ever the sucker, had absolutely fallen for it. "Ugh, now I have to check and see what the hell this is."

Narukami also sat back, an infuriatingly pleased expression on his smug face. If Yosuke could get away with it, he'd absolutely punch the guy right now. He shook his head and focused, instead, on opening the bento placed on his desk by this irritating guy. Inside was another sandwich, this time made with thinner bread that looked like whole wheat. There was more lettuce than last time and, as Yosuke pulled it out carefully to better inspect it, there seemed to be egg in there as well. He aimed a judgemental glance over at Narukami, though he had to say he was amused at these extreme lengths. Narukami continued smiling like the satisfied, plotting jerk he was right now. "Still not peanut butter, but egg salad is a good placeholder until then, right?"

"Egg salad?" Yosuke frowned at the thing in his hands. "Where do you come up with this stuff? Dude, where are you even from?"

"I've been around."

Narukami hummed in satisfaction as he pulled out his own sandwich from his other bento. He quickly bit into it, probably to hide his smirk, but that just made Yosuke more curious. Did this thing taste like egg toast? How could it crunch that much when there was just lettuce, egg, and bread making the thing up?

Yosuke eyed his own sandwich for a moment, trying to find the best place to bite into it, then gingerly raised it to his mouth to try it. It was different in a weird way (definitely a salad, and there was some dressing that Narukami had put on it and Yosuke couldn't hope to identify), but not altogether a bad taste. He couldn't say it was his favourite, but he could say that he liked it.

He swallowed the bite and grinned up at Narukami. "So, what's the occasion?"

"Occasion?" Narukami echoed thoughtfully. The way his head tilted as he pondered, picking out the exact right words to use each time, was definitely endearing. Even when the guy was being a jerk. Yosuke knew better than to get attached to someone in this environment, and yet here they were. After a couple of minutes of thinking it over, Narukami shrugged. "I had the ingredients to make it is all. Nanako also got one in her lunch."

Narukami went to continue, then bit back his words. Yosuke frowned and spoke before he could think better of it. "What about your uncle, then?"

"I -- hm." Narukami let out a quiet, aggravated breath. "If I'd woken up earlier, before he left, I would've made him one, too, yes."

The way the aggravation wrinkled Narukami's brow was so subtle and it surprised Yosuke that he noticed it at all. That he'd noticed it so immediately. He made a soft hum in understanding and bit into his sandwich again before he could say anything else impulsively.

Narukami was only stuck here for a year. After that, he'd get moved again. From the way Narukami had explained it, it sounded like Narukami had been moved around his whole life. Always uprooted, always dropped someplace unfamiliar and new. Never able to keep up with friends.

Yosuke frowned, turning his gaze back to Narukami. "That really sucks."

It had to suck way worse than what Yosuke was dealing with. Narukami blinked in surprise. "Well. Dojima-san leaves early often enough that. I'm used to it by now?"

And Yosuke had moved on from that topic and had forgotten about it completely, whoops. He cringed, backpedalling. "Uh, no, I meant. You're only here for a year before your parents move you again. I was just thinking, that's gotta suck."

"Oh." Narukami ducked his head, a subtle smile forming on his lips. "Thank you, Hanamura-kun."

It was a genuine, easily missed smile. Just the barest of tells, the corners of his lips quirking up so slightly. Yosuke had to stop talking with Narukami. There was no question. The eyes of the classroom were on them, judging and hostile. How dare Yosuke act like a decent human being and offer his condolences to someone else for their shitty situation. How dare Yosuke imply that Narukami could be dealing with shit, too. They'd rip Narukami apart the same as they had with Saki-senpai and Yosuke couldn't allow that to happen again.

As long as the whole town was hungry for blood, it had to be just Yosuke who suffered. No one else.

Yosuke deserved all of this, anyways. It was his fault.

"How is it?"

Narukami frowned at Yosuke, concerned. Questioning. The guy could be infuriating sometimes, but he didn't deserve the pain of the town tearing into him. No one except for Yosuke deserved something as horrible as that. Yosuke made sure to grin, though his muscles ached from the forced falseness of it all. "Really good. I don't think you could make anything that tastes bad, dude."

Narukami seemed pleased by this and backed down. "Thank you, but. I've simply practiced a lot."

Yosuke mumbled some generic response and buried it by taking another bite of his sandwich. Honestly, the thing tasted bland to him now that his appetite had gone. It'd be too rude not to finish it, so he did his best to swallow the rest of it down. He preferred being on autopilot like this, even for just a little while. It meant he didn't have to bother with the effort of acting like things were all sunshine and rainbows. He was so done with pretending, but it had to be done.

Once finished, Yosuke closed the bento and handed it back to Narukami. Narukami accepted it, watched Yosuke stand up with a bewildered expression. "Hanamura-san?"

"Thank you, Narukami-san." Yosuke bowed, too polite but that was the point. He had to do this. There were no other options. He straightened up and looked Narukami directly in the eyes. "Please don't make lunch for me again."

He turned and walked out of the classroom, ignoring the immediate buzz of noise that rose from the rest of the class and ignoring how Narukami called after him. He pulled his headphones on and blasted his music. The beats were loud and clashing, fitting noise to drown out the rest. But Yosuke wrinkled his nose. He didn't even like this song.

It didn't matter. None of this did. He'd managed the first and hardest step in making Narukami stop being friends with him. All that was left was to sit back and wait for everything to settle. To go back to a normal routine where everyone hated Yosuke and no one was willing to show him any human decency. Not even himself. They'd proven their point all ready, beaten it into his head that he was the problem, he was the mistake, and they'd break him again soon enough. Maybe then, they'd be satisfied in knowing they'd won.

"Hanamura!!"

Narukami's shout was loud enough to break through the blasting music in Yosuke's ears and made him jump. Yosuke pulled his headphones down around his neck and looked back to see Narukami standing there at the end of the hallway, glaring and hands out by his sides clenched into fists.

Shit.

Yosuke hadn't really given any thought as to what might happen if Narukami was angry enough to give chase. Also, Yosuke hadn't thought to run further, faster than his casual walk, too lost in his thoughts.

Narukami closed the distance between them surprisingly quick, his anger even more pronounced now that he was up close. "If you're going to do this, fine. I understand. But first, explain to me why it is that everyone seems to hate you so unreasonably."

Yosuke cringed, waiting for a punch that wasn't about to come. "What? Do this? H-Huh?"

"I asked Satonaka-san, but she couldn't explain it at all." Narukami ran a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back enough for Yosuke to see that he did, indeed, have the grey eyebrows to match his hair. "She told me to ask an upperclassman, Konishi-senpai, but that also didn't help explain any of this."

Narukami's usual cool, calm, and polite demeanour had vanished, replaced by this frustrated, angry one. And it seemed to be genuine anger. Yosuke hesitated, completely blindsided by all of this. "Uhh. Explain-Explain what?"

"This." Narukami gestured at Yosuke, as if that was supposed to make anything clearer. "The way you're so weirdly skittish about talking with me. The way everyone else at school tells me that it's a waste of my time to try and be friends with you. The way everyone in town says you're the one at fault, that you're the one to blame! Why?"

Yosuke's spine went cold. Oh god, it'd all ready been happening. Yosuke had dragged his feet about this and he'd known it'd been a bad idea, he'd known he needed to do it quicker, earlier, but he was such an idiot and a screw up and just the worst. He ducked his head and his stomach unhelpfully protested at this sudden wave of pure fear. But he gulped it back, had to keep it together, he had work after classes today and he couldn't afford to lose it again. "Oh god."

He had to cover his mouth a moment, to force that painful squirming in his gut down, to go away for just a minute to let him finish this without doing something even more regrettable. Narukami, charitable as ever, waited. It took more than it should have for Yosuke to finally wrestle down that near-overpowering gag reflex, but he managed it in order to continue.

"G-God, I'm. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, they. They got to you b-before I could stop this. Before I could. Sorry, I'm sorry."

Narukami seemed even more frustrated than before. "Sorry for what?"

"For this." Yosuke looked up at Narukami again and winced. "For everything." He couldn't look at Narukami's anger for long and bowed his head again. "F-For me. It's. It's Junes."

"But what does that mean?" Narukami made some sound between a growl and a groan. This had really gotten under his skin. "They don't like Junes, fine. But why you? You are not Junes."

"I." Yosuke gulped again. He'd never really tried to explain it before. Hell, he still couldn't exactly explain it to himself. "Maybe. It's. Because my dad's the manager and so they see me as the face of it?" Yosuke paused on the words, too afraid to resent them to the normal degree he would have in any other situation. "I-I mean. It makes sense, it is kinda my fault in the first place, it's not that--"

"How?" Narukami interrupted, catching Yosuke off-guard once again. And since Yosuke wasn't able to answer quick enough, Narukami continued. "How could it possibly be your fault that a corporation decided to build a shopping centre here months -- no, possibly years -- in advance before your family even moved here? You had nothing to do with that decision, so why do they blame you?"

Narukami crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, at least outwardly more calm that he'd been before. Yosuke nodded, careful, trying to tell what sorts of steps he should be taking next against this guy and doing his damndest to not show that he was trembling, that he was panicking so badly right now. "Well. Yeah, sure, b-but. Th-They're angry and scared, you know? Their whole livelihoods are the shops in the shopping district and they're suffering 'cause of Junes, some of 'em are really struggling."

Why was Yosuke trying to defend these people? It may have been his fault, he may have been exactly as bad as they thought he was, but that didn't excuse some of the horrible things they'd done. Why would he ever defend these people?

He babbled on, talking more to keep himself from breaking down. "They-They would tell me things like how, how their parents would work until they passed out, or-or how they wouldn't be able to afford further schooling or even food for every meal, so it makes sense. And I, I'm just an idiot. A clumsy, stupid, jerk whose dad is the manager at Junes, so. It makes sense."

He shouldn't be making excuses for these people. He should apologise for that. He should apologise for trying to brush Narukami off so rudely, for existing as a blight on the world, for everything.

He clenched his jaw, his stomach reminding him of its discontent at him, too. He didn't want to puke in front of Narukami on top of everything.

Narukami stood there a while in quiet, processing this information. Then he nodded and took a step back. "I think I understand things a bit better now, thank you."

"No problem." Yosuke mumbled. He had to get out of here. "Sorry, I-I gotta go."

Narukami caught Yosuke's wrist before Yosuke could make a mad dash out of this situation. "Hanamura-san. Let's talk later, okay?"

Yosuke's head was pounding and made it hard to think much. His headphones were still loudly playing their discordant music, too, which wasn't helping the fact that his heart was pounding frantically in his chest to the too-fast beats. He had to get out. "L-Later's not. I have work today."

"I'll come visit, if that's all right."

Narukami smiled, something chilling about it and far too persistent. Why couldn't this guy just give up like all the rest? What was he after? There had to be something, there was always something, so what could it be? Yosuke tugged against Narukami's grip. "Yeah, sure, just--"

He hadn't expected Narukami to actually let go as soon as he tugged, making Yosuke stumble forward a couple of steps. He caught his balance for once, mercifully, and stood there, looking back at Narukami and panting. Narukami seemed hesitant to go, but relented in the end. "We can talk some more, then. If you're not up to coming back to class, I'll take notes for you."

Narukami left and Yosuke stood there frozen for a minute, watching him go. Then Yosuke's stomach lurched and he ran for the bathrooms. He spent the next three minutes throwing up bile and that sandwich, then next few gasping and in a state of panic.

Things were going bad. He didn't even know how to explain how or why, but everything had gone off the rails, had gone horribly wrong. His stomach continued churning uncomfortably and he was crying with no way of calming himself down. He wanted to run, run out of school and out of town and as far away as he could before he collapsed and died from exhaustion. He wanted to get out of this situation, get out of this town, get out of this weird friendship he'd built up with Narukami.

He wanted to get as far away from Narukami as he could and he had no idea why his body was telling him this.

But he couldn't do that. He couldn't do any of that. He was trapped here and that fact was just making it harder to breathe.

Finally, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch and classes resuming and that seemed to snap Yosuke out of it enough to right his head. He didn't have time for this, he had to keep up the charade, to keep acting normal, to not show that he was a fraction of a hair's breadth away from throwing himself in a ditch and screaming until the world ended around him.

He pushed himself up, away from the toilet and wiped his mouth off with the back of his sleeve. It tasted like shit and his nerves were fried, but he had to last the rest of the day. He wanted nothing to do with people or classes or Narukami, and tests would start tomorrow and just make everything worse, but he had to get through it. He just had to. His hands shook and his legs were wobbly, but he stood and flushed away the evidence, left the stall, rinsed out his mouth with the sink water, then headed back to class.

There was nothing else he could do. If things were to continue on as normal as possible, he had to pretend things weren't changing. He had to act like that didn't terrify him to the point of his whole body protesting like that.

The teacher yelled at him for his tardiness, he drowned it out with that discordant music. Narukami didn't try talking to Yosuke for the rest of classes. And once classes ended, Yosuke left for work before anyone had a chance to accost him. Junes was awful, but at least it would provide a goddamn distraction from all of this. He could autopilot his way through work easily.

He smiled politely at customers, answered complaints with a practiced customer service voice, stocked the shelves, and refused to think further than what he was doing at that moment. He even caught himself humming along to the music playing over the speakers through the whole damn store twice. He knew Junes' distinctive, god-awful theme by heart, that was how often he'd been trapped inside this place. No one seemed to notice, thankfully.

His saving grace was that Saki-senpai wasn't working today. After the whole fiasco with Chie's DVD, Yosuke had been doing his best to avoid her. She didn't need to see him like this.

"Wow, it really is so big in here!"

A young child's voice, loud in awe, caught Yosuke's attention and he turned to face the source, smiling and cheery as if every day really were great. "Welcome to Junes, where every day is customer appreciation day. Would you like to hear about today's specials? Sushi packs are twenty-five percent off."

"Oh." The child, a small girl with brown pigtails and a cute pink dress, seemed startled by Yosuke's sudden appearance and clung tightly to the hand of the older guy she was with. Her older cousin, to be exact. Yosuke knew these people. Her expression seemed to change at the exact same moment and she smiled brightly. "Hanamura-san! Hi, it's nice to, um, to meet you again."

"You remembered him, Nanako-chan." Narukami smiled so softly at her, more like an older brother than her cousin. "Good job."

She puffed up a little, proud to get the praise. It took Yosuke longer than he'd like to admit to bring himself out of his autopilot, to recognise these two as people he knew and not just as customers in need of servicing. In the end, he could only manage a strained smile in return. "H-Hey, Nanako-chan. Narukami-san. Wh-What are -- ah, h-how can I help you today?"

This sucked. Goddamn Narukami butting into Yosuke's day like he had any right to tip Yosuke so off-balance like this. Yosuke changed his mind, he hated that goddamn jerk. Nanako, oblivious to this, hopped on her feet in pure excitement. "Big -- um, Yu-san and I are getting groceries for dinner tonight. Yu-san has to eat well because, because he's got testing tomorrow and it's not like dad's gonna cook."

She made a displeased face at the end of her statement. Narukami chuckled softly. "Don't be so hard on him, Nanako-chan. He's very busy with work, after all."

"I know." She drooped sadly for a moment, then brightened up and looked to Yosuke again. "Um, we're making, um, yakisoba tonight. So, can you take us to find the ingredients for that, please?"

Yosuke ended up regaining his customer service façade. It was easier than trying to reconcile his thoughts on knowing these two at the moment. "Hey, that's my favourite. No problem, right this way, oh honoured guests."

She giggled at his theatrics as he lead them towards the grocery area of the store. Narukami being there was still throwing Yosuke off-balance, but if he ignored it, it wasn't that big of a problem. The younger kids who thought of Junes as a wonder and not yet a bad thing were always fun to work with. Amazing they hadn't all been converted yet, but kids were kinda easy to impress. And hard to convince otherwise. Nanako piped up, almost shyly. "Um. Hanamura-san, um. Did you say there was a sale on sushi?"

"I sure did." Yosuke paused by the sushi display and whirled around, winking down at Nanako. "Right here, see? We even put the sale prices on star stickers for it."

"S-Star stickers?" Nanako gasped, covering her mouth with her free hand as she stared down at the different sushi packs. "Wow. Yu-san, look, look!"

She tugged on Narukami's hand. Narukami, meanwhile, aimed an exasperated look at Yosuke. "You know that, now that she's seen them, I have to buy one for her, right?"

Yosuke winked mischievously. "That's kinda the point."

It came easier because Yosuke was in work mode and not going to think about anything else right now. Nanako bit her lip and shrunk into Narukami's side suddenly. "No, it's. It's okay, Yu-san, you don't have to buy it for me. We should get dinner things and be responsible."

She nodded, her mind made up. Wow, that was a big word for a kid to just know. Then again, her dad was a detective. That probably had something to do with it. Narukami, however, tensed up at that. His expression was that of heartbreak for a single second, then he picked up one of the sushi packs with his free hand and placed it in their basket.

Nanako frowned, seemed even angry at this. "B-Big bro, I just said--"

"I know." Narukami smiled down at her, both loving and sad, somehow. "But I want to get it for you anyway."

Nanako bowed her head, then hugged onto Narukami's legs tightly, burying her face in his side. "Thank you, big bro. Thank you so much."

They were cute. They were too cute. Yosuke stood back like an awkward third wheel in this interaction, unsure of what else to do. Once they were done, he directed them over to where they could find the sauce and noodles for the yakisoba. And while Nanako was busy picking out the perfect one of each, Narukami stood beside Yosuke and looked at him with a coldly serious expression. "It's not right."

Yosuke, still on autopilot, almost quoted the prices at Narukami before realising that this was a continuation of their earlier conversation. One that Yosuke wasn't going to be allowed to just run away from, it seemed. He winced and grappled with his words a few moments, trying to both reply coherently and not let his autopilot take over again. "It's. Uhh. I-I know, I know."

He couldn't even look at Narukami, though being stared down wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Guess he'd hung out enough with Narukami for that to become more natural. Narukami continued, still trying to talk like they were on the same page about this. "Why haven't you tried telling any of the teachers or school staff about this? Or your parents? If it's reached this point where you can't trust anyone, it's a bigger problem than even you probably realise. I know it's hard to speak out, but it would mean a lot less anxiety and stress on your end if you alerted even maybe the cops about this."

Yosuke frowned. It was a nice, but fruitless thought in the end. And since Narukami was so dang persistent about the matter, Yosuke might have to talk to the police. Again. Except this time, he'd actually be causing a disturbance this time. He shook his head. "It won't help."

"The whole town is treating you, unfairly, as a scapegoat for their grievances." Narukami's voice was steady, so matter-of-fact about this issue he knew nothing about. "They'll have to do something to stop it."

Again, all Yosuke could think to do was shake his head. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting to help the Junes boy after listening to all the townspeople had to say about the matter. They were right, after all.

Narukami paused, almost hesitant, then continued with just as steady and calm a voice as before. "I'll also understand if you sincerely wish to stop being friends with me."

Yosuke's head snapped up in a panic. There was a compassionate resolve to Narukami's expression, but also something that seemed to pierce right through Yosuke. As if he could see through all of Yosuke's lies and faked energy in that moment. Yosuke, subdued, bowed his head. "I don't want them to go after you like they did to Saki-senpai. I don't want to cause any more issues for you while you're here."

Narukami smiled suddenly, an odd weariness to it. "There's nothing they can do to me."

He paused. Yosuke might have been expected to ask about it, but he all ready knew. Being the 'New Kid' so many times had to be awful. Yosuke closed his eyes, deflating. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry this is happening to you."

Yosuke laughed, a sudden and harsh noise that forced Narukami to stop this time. Narukami raised an eyebrow, curious. Yosuke held a hand to his mouth to try and stifle the noise. "Sorry, sorry, just." He took a deep breath, shoving that bitterness to the back of his mind. "You feeling sorry for me, that's just hilarious."

Narukami looked alarmed for a minute. Thankfully, Nanako was drawn over by the sudden noise. She glanced from Narukami to Yosuke, then smiled unsurely. "Are you telling jokes to Hanamura-san?"

Narukami glanced to Yosuke quickly. Yosuke had all ready decided he'd take it. "Something like that. Did you find everything you needed?"

He picked his customer service façade back up so easily, so naturally, it was almost scary. It was helping him survive for the moment, though, so he could worry about it later. Nanako perked up and nodded. "Uh-huh. Although there's a bear over there who says I need a password to continue shopping here."

Oh, goddamnit. Of course. Yosuke wanted to groan, but did a good job of covering that up by switching to theatrical. "What's this? A bear, you say? Could it be that our lovable, friendly mascot has gone rogue? Fear not, valued guest, for I, the valiant Prince of Junes shall solve this issue to ensure that your day will be great!"

Nanako giggled at how over the top and silly Yosuke's performance was, but that just helped him keep it up. Narukami sat back and watched, which was a little disconcerting (and more than a little embarrassing), but Yosuke resolutely didn't think about it again after the once. He lead the way through the aisles and discovered Teddie, inside the mascot suit, hiding at the end.

Yosuke placed his hands on his hips, frowning down at Teddie. "All right, Teddie. What's this about a password?"

"I-I just wanted to play, too." Teddie blubbered. Narukami seemed surprised at the voice, probably remembering how Teddie looked outside of the ridiculous mascot suit. Teddie waved his arms about animatedly, a normal reaction for when he'd been caught and was trying to talk himself out of the situation. "You looked like you were having fun, Yosuke, and I wanted to join in."

While Yosuke wanted to ask what Teddie was even doing here, if their dad knew that Teddie was running around in the mascot uniform today, he also was aware of their added audience of the moment. Therefore, Yosuke puffed up and pointed at Teddie in some dumb, stereotypical hero pose. "Your misdirection is futile, for I know the password, and the password is, 'Junes makes people's days great'!"

Teddie gasped and, quickly joining in, wailed dramatically. "That's correct! My plan has failed in the face of the best Prince of Junes, the famous man himself!"

Nanako laughed and clapped as they continued like that for a bit, then Yosuke bid Nanako and Narukami goodbye as he took Teddie with him to their dad's office. Yosuke couldn't chance looking back, couldn't know how Narukami's expression would be as they left. He could breathe easier as he cleared Teddie's being there with their dad, at least.

Work passed uneventfully after that, for the most part. That crazy cabbages guy was there and he wasn't pleasant to deal with, but Yosuke let his autopilot take over and didn't give it much thought. Once they returned home for the night, Teddie grabbed Yosuke's arm before he could climb into bed. "Yosu-niichan, those two were your friends, right?"

Yosuke hesitated to say yes, but how else could he respond to that? It wasn't like he was just chatting with some random strangers who knew his name and he knew theirs. Still, he didn't exactly want to admit out loud that Narukami was his friend. Not after everything that'd happened that day. After a tense moment of silence, Yosuke decided to give in. "Sure, yeah."

"And they make you happy, right?"

Teddie stared resolutely up at Yosuke, almost accusingly so. Yosuke frowned, gently pushing Teddie off his arm. "Teds, what's this about?"

Teddie huffed, as if it was obvious what he was after. "I want Yosuke to be happy."

He turned and flounced over to his bed, flopping into it without another word. Unsure of how to respond, Yosuke climbed into his own bed and curled up in his blankets.

Testing was, as Yosuke had predicted, terrible. The first day, Yosuke had so many notes shoved in his locker that he was sure some of them slipped into the locker beneath his. He shoved them all into the trash, not willing to deal with them for the day, and found that it had been filled full again by lunch.

The second day, Yosuke found a 'love' note in his desk. Another challenger, looked like. And, since he really had nothing better to do, he went down to the gazebo by the Samegawa floodplains after classes to see it through. He assumed they'd yell at him more if he ignored them than if he went and either got stood up or called an idiot for believing it could be real. It turned out to be from Ayane, who called Yosuke a fool, so that was fun.

The final day, Yosuke was so burnt out he simply kept his head down on his desk the entire time. Chie was at least trying, though she could barely pass, but Yosuke had no chance. He was an idiot. He would amount to nothing, if he even lived long enough to get there. Everything was worthless.

And, the icing on the cake, Friday came about and Narukami shoved another bento on Yosuke during lunch. This time, the sandwich was peanut butter and banana. Meaning Narukami was determined to continue being friendly with Yosuke. It wouldn't change anything, Narukami would accept that Yosuke was the worst and let the town continue in its ways, but maybe, for a little while, Yosuke didn't have to be so alone.

He accepted the offered bento and ate with Narukami that lunch. Even if, later at work, that awful cabbages guy yanked Yosuke's hair and then threatened Yosuke into silence, like usual. It'd been nice to feel normal for a little bit.


	7. A Joke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under normal circumstances, it would've gotten a laugh. But these weren't normal circumstances, were they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my wonderful sis, who beta'd this for me!  
> How I decide to write Yosuke's parents is usually determined by the situation. In this story, I get to have fun with them and that's a-okay with me.  
> Also, our entire cast has finally arrived. Now to get them all together...  
> Even Narukami has his flaws.

[Part 5 - A Joke]

 

The lunches continued almost every day, each one weirder than the last. Yosuke learned to accept it and let it happen. It made Narukami happy, and, hey, that was a good enough reason to not object about it. Besides, it was a nice distraction.

Despite having psycho-analysed the whole town's feelings on the situation, Narukami still didn't seem to grasp the whole scope of the thing. And goddamn if Yosuke wasn't going to try his hardest to keep it that way. The other students still seemed infatuated with Narukami, and Chie and Yukiko continued to pull Narukami away whenever possible, so it seemed like Narukami had been more truthful in what he'd said to Yosuke than they'd expected.

Honestly, Yosuke appreciated the breaks from Narukami. It'd only been a week and a half, but man, the guy was hard to hang around sometimes. Yosuke could catch himself letting down his guard sometimes and that wasn't a good thing.

Narukami was an amazing cook, though, there was no denying that. From the mundanely weird, like peanut butter and jelly onigiri, to the very impractical, like a small pan of tuna casserole, everything tasted great. It was a little embarrassing to have such extravagant lunches shared with him, but there was no arguing with Narukami about it. The guy was somewhat of an immovable mountain in terms of stubbornness.

Over the period, Yosuke had more time to observe Narukami's character. Narukami seemed like an impenetrable fortress, but actually had a wide array of emotions. It was just hard to tell when the guy's expressions weren't all that different from his neutral. Narukami had a lot of sympathy, caring for all of the stray cats in Inaba, and he was a good friend. Maybe even an excellent friend. Yosuke wasn't about to let himself find out.

Despite his attempts to keep Narukami at an arm's distance, to keep them from becoming friends for real, Yosuke had reached that point where he'd call Narukami his friend. And that meant he'd set himself up for failure.

Things had, indeed, evened out as Yosuke hoped they would. The hate mail came in bulk, a surprising amount of them about Narukami, that awful cabbages guy continued harassing Yosuke, and Junes was still awful. But Yosuke had learned to cope, and at least he hadn't panicked himself into throwing up since that Friday.

Today, a Tuesday, Yosuke had managed to escape Narukami and took shelter on the roof for lunch. Daisuke and Kou happened to come up and find him, and their chatter was a pleasant, neutral noise compared to the rest of the school's hatred, so Yosuke let them. They teased each other about their clubs and how Narukami had decided to help them both out, despite not joining either club officially. That was one way to get past needing King Moron's approval, but Yosuke was still very unsure of how Narukami managed to pull it off.

"Seriously, though." Daisuke had paused in his diatribe about the lack of soccer club members for a moment to directly address Yosuke. It made him shift in his seat, self-conscious of the scrutiny. "You been doing all right, Hanamura-kun?"

It had been a rougher day, what with Yosuke finding actual, live frogs shoved into his locker with a threatening note from Chie on top of the fact that he had a shift at Junes today. The forced neutrality from Narukami had seemed like too much and now Daisuke had decided to aggravate that. Kou also looked over, eyebrows knit up in concern. "Yeah, how's it been going? I've noticed that you and Yu-san hang out a lot, but sometimes you seem really upset?"

"Narukami-kun ain't doing something to make you uncomfortable right under all our noses, right?"

Daisuke said it low, almost like a threat. On Narukami's behalf? On Yosuke's behalf? From Kou's nodding along and their too-serious expressions, it seemed to be for Yosuke's well-being. Which was an incredibly stupid thing for Yosuke to assume at all, ever. He had to play it off. To joke. To pretend this was all just normal fun and games, even if he was close to losing his non-existent lunch one more time. "Guys, it's fine. Narukami-san and I. We're friends. What are you two, my bodyguards?"

Yosuke punctuated his statement with a short laugh. He didn't need to add on the, 'Yeah, that's ridiculous. I'm not worth that much effort', as it was clearly implied. Daisuke and Kou, however, shared the most serious of looks. As if they were actually considering it. Before Yosuke could get a word in to reject that notion immediately, Kou had nodded to Daisuke and stood. "I'll tell Yu-san about it."

"Sounds good, thanks." Daisuke pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and tapped a few keys on it, typing out a text. "Then, next club meeting, we can set up a schedule or something."

Kou's eyes lit up. "Yeah! We could each cover a day or week, whatever works out for us."

"Guys!" Yosuke shouted, a bit too loud. It got them to stop and look at Yosuke again, so whatever. "I was joking. Don't actually do this, i-it's stupid. I'm not worth the trouble."

It seemed awkward to say that shit out loud. No matter how true it was. Daisuke and Kou shared another look, then Kou pulled out his phone and started typing rapidly. "Practice is today, so."

"Looks like Narukami-kun is gonna be taking first shift." Daisuke grimaced at his phone. "Damn it, it's our idea and yet here we are."

"Yosuke-san." Kou crouched down in front of Yosuke and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Of course we'd be worried about you. You're our friend."

Yosuke's gut sank. They kinda were his friends, weren't they? How had Yosuke fucked up this badly without realising it? He shook his head slowly, shrinking away from Kou's touch. "You guys. They'll go after you, too."

He couldn't be any more of a failure if he tried. Outside of one other possibility, at least, but he wasn't going to grace that with a solid thought at the moment. Kou glanced back at Daisuke, who shrugged. "Can't be any worse than what we've all ready got."

Kou smiled. "Exactly."

He gave Yosuke's shoulder a small pat, then stood and dashed off, down the stairwell and off the school roof. Daisuke leaned over to give Yosuke's shoulder a pat as well. "We really do care. Sorry we can't exactly be there for you as often as you might need us."

A familiar pang pierced through Yosuke's chest. He should've been more concerned about this friendship thing, but he was honestly more surprised that he felt anything besides emptiness. "It's -- It's all right, you really didn't need to be. I'm not important enough for this sort of thing."

Daisuke frowned at Yosuke, confused. "Yeah, you are."

Yosuke wasn't sure how to reply to that. Daisuke smiled reassuringly, then stood and followed after Kou. Yosuke sat and stared after them for a long while. This was all just some elaborate prank they were pulling. They'd shoot Yosuke down and humiliate him further. They couldn't be serious. He wasn't worth the trouble of friendship. His heart thudded against his chest and his breathing went shallow, panicked. He gulped. No, not today. He couldn't afford this today.

He wiped at his eyes, which were blessedly dry, and stood. He took a deep breath and headed back downstairs on shaky legs. The rest of the day seemed like an insurmountable tidal wave hovering over his head, threatening to crash down and smother him. But not yet. Not yet.

The words echoed endlessly around his head as he made his way back to class.

The rest of lunch went by without incident, though it was interesting to see Narukami sitting and chatting with both Chie and Yukiko. He didn't have a lunch to share with them, which Yosuke chalked up to them having finished before Yosuke returned.

The rest of the school day went by in a blur and soon the bell rang to signal the end of the day. Immediately, Yosuke made a beeline for the door. He had work, after all. It totally had nothing to do with the act that he didn't want to suffer through any more of Narukami's forced politeness. He took too long packing his things away, however. Or he took too long getting through the door, or wasn't walking fast enough down the hall, or something, because Narukami caught up to him by the lockers, right before the doors leading outside.

"Hanamura-san, may I talk to you a minute?"

Narukami smiled, so slight and goddamn genuine. Yosuke could've easily bowed out with an excuse, a legitimate reason, but a part of him was curious. Had Daisuke and Kou managed to convince Narukami through their texts? Would that polite front of Narukami's crack under such a ridiculous request? Yosuke stopped and faced Narukami with that signature faked grin. "Sure, though make it quick. I gotta get to work."

"It's about something Nagase-san and Ichijo-san brought up to me." Narukami held up his phone, a gesture explaining the method of conversation in which this had happened. Dang, Daisuke and Kou hadn't been kidding. Yosuke melted a little on the inside. He was so screwed. Narukami, for his credit, didn't seem as confused by this as he should have been. "About being your bodyguard and walking you to Junes for the day?"

Yosuke laughed, easy and without that harsh edge to it, strangely prepared for this. "Oh my god." He shook his head, his act of nonchalance airtight. "Sorry, it was a joke we had during lunch today. I didn't think they'd go so far as to get you involved."

That was all this was. A joke. Just like Yosuke's existence. Narukami ended up chuckling softly, as if he understood perfectly and could even share in that joke. "Ah, I see. It's all right, I just hadn't known a trashcan could be worth this much effort."

Narukami froze as the words left his mouth, instantly losing that joking air. Yosuke stopped breathing a moment. That was it. The moment he'd known would come. It'd been inevitable. Now, it was a stab right through his chest. His heart. God he hadn't expected it to sting this much.

He knew it'd been a bad idea to get this close. To make a friend.

Narukami shook his head, but, before he could say anything, Yosuke laughed loudly. Yosuke reacted quicker, was louder. "Right?" He laughed harder, having to hold his stomach as it quivered uneasily. "I'm glad you understand. Anyway, I have to get going--"

"No." Narukami interrupted Yosuke, stopping him in his tracks. Then Narukami was talking rapid fire with a fervour Yosuke hadn't seen before. "That was wrong. That wasn't funny. Oh my god. I'm sorry, I'm. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have even thought it."

Narukami paused, probably trying to find the right words. Yosuke had stopped laughing, though his whole body felt hollow and wracked from it. "It's okay, you were right. I'm just a trashcan."

"You're not, Hanamura-san." Narukami whirled on Yosuke, staring directly into Yosuke's eyes. For once, Narukami's expression was blatantly readable. "You're not a joke. You're not a trashcan. You are worth the effort."

Yosuke gulped. Narukami's conviction about this was admirable. But he'd all ready revealed his hand, had stabbed Yosuke in the back. His whole body seemed to droop and he ducked his head, unable to meet Narukami's eyes any longer. "I-I told you, it's okay."

"No, it's not."

Narukami adamantly remained as unmoveable about this as he had been about the whole business of repaying Yosuke with those crazy lunches. Repaying for what? For being a joke to laugh at? Why did Narukami even care so much about this? Yosuke placed a hand on his headphones and shook his head. "It is. It's fine. I mean, I'm used to hearing worse."

"I'm supposed to be your friend, though." Narukami heaved out an aggravated breath. "No matter how minor it may seem, I still shouldn't have participated. I'm really sorry, Hanamura-san. You shouldn't have to be used to any of this."

Yosuke's eyes burned. Shit, he had to get away. He had work to get to. Why was today the day that Yosuke wasn't numb to all this, of all days? He had to swallow back that rising heat and clenched his free hand into a fist. "I-I gotta. Work."

His throat was closing up, he could hardly mumble the words. Narukami, mercifully, relented on this front and let Yosuke go. Didn't give chase or anything. Yosuke dashed away, out of the school and to Junes. The place that was the cause of all this fucked up shit. The reason Yosuke was a mess of emptiness and emotions just waiting to drag him down into the depths.

It shouldn't have hurt so much. This had been why he hadn't wanted to get close to Narukami. Yosuke knew things would end like this. No matter how many times Narukami apologised, it wouldn't change a thing. They'd gotten to Narukami. And Yosuke had let it get to this point.

To top off a shitty day, those awful new hires bugged Yosuke all shift. They wanted raises, more time off, no Sunday shifts, leniency he couldn't provide them with just being the manager's son. He put up with it all by smiling and directing them to speak with his father. They didn't want to do that, so they continued pestering him and he kept smiling.

At home, his dad complained about management breathing down his neck about business things. Yosuke's mom bustled about with dinner things and asked Yosuke if he could wash the dishes. He did, going through the motions as he had with work. His mom stared at him with concern in her blue eyes, but didn't say anything.

Teddie definitely got his 'good looks' from their mother. Maybe if Yosuke dyed his hair black, like his dad, then he could blend in better and be forgotten. Overlooked. Just another cog in this fucked up system.

It would be pointless in the end. And he knew it.

He settled into bed for the night, his chest numb and that void of nothing finally settled back in. Thank god. Teddie asked if he wanted to talk about it, but there was nothing to talk about. Yosuke had made a friend despite all things pointing towards that being a bad idea and then that friend had fallen to the mob just like all the rest.

He wasn't allowed to have good things. He was the misfortunate accident plaguing the town. And if things continued down this road, he'd need to pull that belt back out and go through with it. His family be damned.

Immediately in the morning, as he was walking to school, Narukami found and ran over to him. The running was what took Yosuke off-guard enough for Narukami to catch him. Narukami stood slightly taller than him, an imposing figure in the early morning. "I'm here."

Yosuke frowned, unsure of how to approach this. "Yeah?"

"I'm here to walk you to school." Narukami puffed up, more intimidating still. "As your bodyguard."

Yosuke actually blanked. And, for a moment, was at a loss for words. Then he laughed, mostly bitter but with enough genuineness for a good cover. "What? Dude, I told you that was just a joke."

"Those notes you have to sift through every morning. That's hate mail, isn't it?" Narukami glanced over at the other students trickling past and seemed to glare. "And it's not just their words they wear you down with. They do all sorts of despicable acts." He turned his gaze back to Yosuke, way too serious for something like this. "I didn't realise, but that's no excuse. And I've decided that, from here on out, I won't let anyone get away with this. I am your friend."

The conviction in Narukami's eyes and voice made Yosuke shrink back. Maybe things weren't going to go as predictably as he'd hoped they would. And despite Narukami's encouraging words, that terror remained in Yosuke's chest. It made it a little difficult to breathe. No, not here. Not this early. Yosuke nodded shortly and continued walking towards school. Narukami followed, walking at Yosuke's side.

It looked like Narukami was serious about all this. Or maybe this was all a prolonged joke and Narukami had simply slipped up by giving away the punch line a little early. The thought made Yosuke's lungs seize up and no, goddamn it, he didn't need that right now, he was all ready having trouble keeping his breathing even.

He couldn't even get any words out. 'It's all right'. 'Don't worry about it'. 'It's fine'. Yosuke wanted to say these things, to try and ward Narukami off, but that wouldn't work. Even if Yosuke could get the words out, they wouldn't dissuade Narukami. The guy was a mountain. Immoveable, sturdy, and patient. Yosuke hadn't expected to find that trait so terrifying.

They made it to school, thankfully, and Yosuke excused himself in order to go to the bathroom. Narukami let Yosuke go, thankfully. Yosuke nearly forgot his school shoes in his rush (and nearly put them on despite the needles filling them). The letters and other shit in his locker didn't matter at the moment, he was just glad he could dump the needles in his shoes easily. He near ran to the bathrooms, his hands shaking and his legs unsteady. His vision was going wavy around the bottom, like he was underwater. He couldn't breathe anymore.

He managed to lock himself in one of the stalls and scrunched himself into as small a ball he could, sitting on the toilet. He couldn't do this. He had to stop being friends with Narukami. With Kou and Daisuke, too. He had to get out. He had to steal a bike or something and leave this place. He had to get out. His lungs were too small, not working right, unable to do much else besides compress and lose more air.

The stall around him was too tight. His vision was going completely dark. Was he going to pass out? Again? About something so fucking trivial? Was he really that weak to break down at the first sign of Narukami's façade cracking? Yosuke closed his eyes and tried to focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Steady. Even.

His quick, shallow breaths steadied. The shakiness didn't really go away and he was suddenly aware of the tears streaming down his face, but things were going to be passable. He'd draw too much suspicion if he skipped out of class so soon after this bodyguard thing. A sick joke that made his stomach protest for all it was worth. And, still, he had to keep smiling. He had to pretend everything wasn't as bad as it actually was and that he didn't feel the noose tightening around throat every prolonged day.

Nothing would change. Daisuke, Kou, and Narukami couldn't do a thing, even if they combined their efforts. Yosuke wiped at his eyes and kept breathing. He could see again, at least. And while he wasn't ready to face the onslaught of the day, he couldn't waste any more time on this pity party for himself. He stood, stretched out his limbs, and exited the bathroom stall.

Curiously, there was a boy in the bathrooms that Yosuke didn't recognise. The other boy flinched away, as if Yosuke had caught them in a compromising situation or something. Maybe they were just skittish. He quickly turned away to wash his hands in the sink, hoping to god they didn't think twice about why he was there and why he looked so wrecked.

He splashed some of the cold water on his face to help cover up the whole crying thing. That was the one thing he'd been adamant about in this whole situation. He hadn't wanted anyone to see him cry, to know that they'd gotten to him a long time ago. And this other boy was here to ruin that completely.

The boy, however, was silent. Not really even watching Yosuke. Almost as if they'd expected Yosuke to be the aggressor in this situation. But that was just weird.

"If you're suffering panic attacks." The boy's voice, a deeper sound than Yosuke had expected, caused him to freeze. The boy continued, clearly speaking to Yosuke without even facing him. "Then I suggest drinking lavender or chamomile tea. Or, perhaps simpler, talking to someone about it."

This boy had voiced something Yosuke hadn't been ready to admit to himself. He'd been having legitimate, actual panic attacks. He shuddered, then gulped. "Th-Thanks. I'll, uh, keep that in mind."

The audible embarrassment in his voice made him groan inwardly. Just more ammo for this guy to feed to the masses who wanted Yosuke's blood spilled. The guy, now that Yosuke had a better look, wore a first year pin on his uniform and a dark blue cap for personal flair. Another new transfer?

Wasn't worth thinking about. The town would turn this kid soon enough.

Yosuke bowed shortly, then left. The warning bell ran as he was walking through the halls and he sprinted the rest of the way to class.

Narukami was seated and facing the board like a model student. As usual. Yosuke arrived as a panting mess, just barely on time and barely able to hold himself together enough to make it to his seat. Also as usual. Narukami smiled briefly in greeting to Yosuke before Chie accosted him with conversation and that was the end of that. Yosuke slumped down in his seat, glad to be rid of the pressure for a moment. Yukiko periodically glanced over at him in an inspecting sort of way, which was the one thing that was decidedly not normal about this whole situation.

Whatever. Yosuke had learned it was best not to stare back and simply ignored it.

Class proceeded as normal, with King Moron shouting at all of them and Yosuke keeping his head down to avoid getting singled out. The morning passed with Narukami getting called to answer a few questions. He, of course, got all of them correct. The guy was smart, charming, and talented. It was no wonder the rest of the school seemed enamoured with him. With the idea of him, Yosuke reminded himself.

Though, to be fair, Yosuke still didn't really know Narukami all that well, either. And the guy would be leaving by the end of the year. He rejected every single love letter handed to him so politely and it really made sense. Yosuke was a fool to have gotten attached at all.

After sitting down, Narukami glanced back and grinned at Yosuke. And Yosuke relished in the fact that he could tell Narukami was grinning at him. That he'd been able to decipher the subtle differences in Narukami's expressions, the miniscule difference between politeness and a genuine smile. It was the slight crinkle around Narukami's eyes, the way Narukami's chest puffed out, as if he was proud of his ability to be so genuine.

Yosuke's mind reminded him suddenly that Narukami wasn't an attainable refuge. That Narukami had slipped up and that they were both boys, anyway. Yosuke gulped back that panic and simply smiled warily in return. Narukami frowned, not exactly accepting Yosuke's attempt at reassurance, but turned to face forward again.

Then lunchtime arrived. Finally, the day was half over and Yosuke was that much closer to getting home to sleep away all of this. Narukami turned around in his chair to face Yosuke, two bento in hand, at the same time as Yosuke stood to leave. It made them both pause in an awkward moment. Yosuke's hand went up to grip his headphones, an anchor to keep himself steady. Before he could offer up any explanation or excuse, Narukami placed one of the bento down on Yosuke's desk and handed the other to him. "At least take it with you."

Though it wasn't a question, the pleading in Narukami's tone was clear. Yosuke sort of fell apart at that. "Dude, seriously, it's all right."

"It's not." Narukami glared off to the side, at a few of their classmates who were trying not to look too much like they were eavesdropping. The actual anger and contempt behind the glare was a surprise to Yosuke. "You may not ever forgive me for this and I'd understand."

Yosuke started to say that he did forgive Narukami, that Narukami was being a little too sensitive about this, but couldn't get the words out of his mouth. Narukami wouldn't accept them, anyway. Not in this current state of limbo they were in. Yosuke, instead, accepted the offered bento. "Thank you for the meal."

"You're welcome."

Narukami smiled up at Yosuke, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. Yosuke left the classroom and went up to the roof. He settled on a spot against the fence and stared down at the bento, appraising it. It was neat, perfectly wrapped, and no doubt held something crazy and delicious inside. A perfect depiction of Narukami himself.

Did Yosuke forgive Narukami for this?

Short answer, yes.

Long answer, not at the moment, but after a while he would definitely forgive Narukami.

It was an odd thing to be so sure of and sent shivers from Yosuke's neck to his ribs. He'd really become friends with Narukami. They'd really gotten close enough for that. And Yosuke wasn't sure what to do about this.

He only realised he'd been sitting there, crying, when the bell rang and he had to get up and head back to class. He frowned at the bento, still wrapped and uneaten. Could he return it to Narukami like this? Would Narukami accept it? Yosuke wiped the tear streaks off his face, took a steadying breath, then picked up the bento. He'd put it in his bag and eat it once he got home. Maybe he could share it with Teddie. Yosuke chuckled, dispelling the tears for good.

He made it back to the classroom in the nick of time and took his seat behind Narukami. It was easy to slip the bento into his school bag without notice, thankfully. Narukami glanced back at Yosuke, eyes questioning, and Yosuke grinned in response. It came easy, though he seemed ready to fly apart at any given moment. Narukami relaxed, reassured this time, and faced forward to pay attention to Miss Sofue's lecture.

After classes, Narukami didn't even make a mention of the bento. He simply wished Yosuke well and let Yosuke leave. It was almost too easy, but Yosuke didn't want to dwell on it. He just wanted to get home and end this goddamn day.

He noticed Kou tailing him all the way home, which was almost laughable. He waved and Kou happily waved back and Yosuke made it home without incident. He shouted, "Thanks!" before entering his house. Kou laughed in reply, then left. Yosuke shook his head and went straight to his room. His mom looked busy with making dinner and his dad would probably be tied up with work for another few hours, meaning Yosuke could grab an hour nap as long as Teddie didn't get in the way. But Yosuke had an answer to keeping Teddie occupied at least for a little bit today.

Teddie, as Yosuke had expected, was in their room. On the floor. With the box Yosuke kept all of the fake love letters in open in front of him, the letters themselves scattered around the floor.

Yosuke made some undignified squawking noise and knelt down by Teddie, tossing his school bag to the side. "Teds, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Yosuke, watch your language." Teddie chided playfully, grinning and sitting back to watch Yosuke scramble about. "Also, you're back early. Did you bring any nice berry treats for this humble bear?"

He giggled, proud of his clever wordplay. Yosuke rolled his eyes and spared a moment to shove Teddie's head down. "Like hell I would. Why were you poking around my things and making a mess of it?"

"A bear can't deny his instincts to scatter neat and tidy things."

Teddie's reply was immediate. He was also doing his best to look the perfect picture of innocence. It only served to infuriate Yosuke, who saw these signs and knew Teddie was being a little shit. Yosuke finished gathering up the letters and placed them back into their box. "Does the bear know how much trouble they'll be in when I tell mom what they were up to?"

Teddie let out a wail and glomped onto Yosuke's waist. "Don't tell mom, please! I'll be a good bear. Promise."

Yosuke deflated. As much as he wanted to stay angry at Teddie, today wasn't the day. Without an appetite, he needed some help eating the bento. He patted the top of Teddie's head. "Yeah, yeah, I know you'll be. Why'd you get into my stuff?"

Teddie's grip tightened. Yosuke braced himself for an onslaught of whining and pleading, but Teddie's voice was tiny and quiet. "They make Yosuke sad."

Yosuke hesitated, his body chilled. There it was again. Teddie was only a kid and Yosuke had scarred the poor boy. He was completely despicable. He shoved that thought out of his head and pushed against Teddie's head in an attempt to pry Teddie off. "N-No, no, they're love letters. Y'see how many I got? That's a mark of my popularity."

Teddie looked up at Yosuke, unconvinced. Yeah, that'd been a weak excuse. It was all Yosuke had, however. He cleared his throat and pulled his bag over to bring out the bento.

"Anyway, you wanna share this with me or not?"

"A cute little bento!" Teddie gasped, overdramatic as usual and his eyes practically sparkling. "Did you buy it? Did a hot babe give it to you? Ooh! Was it one of your sexy nurses?"

"You are going to get us both in trouble if you keep snooping through my shit." Yosuke grimaced and smacked the back of Teddie's head lightly. "And no, wrong on all accounts. Narukami-san gave it to me."

Teddie gave a whine in response, holding the spot Yosuke hit with both hands and pouting. Yosuke rolled his eyes and handed over the bento, which cheered Teddie right up. As Teddie scrambled to open the thing, Yosuke sat back to watch. Whatever wild thing was in there, it was sure to please the young bear. Unless it was sour. He chuckled at the thought. Teddie finally managed to unwrap the thing and grinned gleefully as he popped it open. "Oh, delicious package of food, bear your insides to me!"

Yosuke snorted through his nose. "Where'd you pick that--" He stopped, the realisation hitting him, and then groaned. "Oh, that was a pun, wasn't it?"

Teddie hummed a short triumphant fanfare to himself, then set about gaping at the contents of the bento. Yosuke was curious, too, but something in him was refusing to look. Maybe it was a petulant form of spite aimed at Narukami. Maybe Yosuke was too tired for this shit. In the end, Teddie's excited noises of awe drew Yosuke's attention to the bento.

The contents were, surprisingly, closer to home than Yosuke had expected. A familiar food. Yosuke took in a sharp, hissed breath. "What?"

"Yosu-nii, it's your favourite." Teddie giggled, so damn proud of himself for some indiscernible reason. He picked out some of the noodles carefully, though with his bear -- damn it, bare -- hands, and popped it into his mouth. "Mm! It's really good, too. Yosuke, that Narukami-kun is a great cook. You should call him 'sensei' and learn a few things."

That probably should have pissed Yosuke off. However, his mind was too caught on the fact that Narukami had made his goddamn favourite food for today. That couldn't be just be a coincidence, either, since Narukami rarely made traditional Japanese dishes. Had Yosuke even told Narukami what his favourite food was? Had that ever been a topic that came up during their conversations?

Okay, there was a slight chance Yosuke could have mentioned it while they'd been out eating steak, or maybe some other meal time, but there was no way Narukami would have remembered a small, insignificant detail like Yosuke's favourite food. There was just no way! Who would care about something like that?

Maybe a guy who knew how to cook so many different, exotic meals. Why was that again? It wasn't like Narukami was planning on becoming a chef for a living. Actually, if Yosuke remembered that specific conversation correctly, Narukami joked about wanting to become a housewife. Which definitely suited the guy, but that was still weird for a guy, right? Guys didn't normally want to be housewives. Right?

Teddie was saying something and Yosuke had missed it. He grimaced and shook those weird thoughts out of his head. "What was that, Teds?"

"Don't you want any, Yosuke?" Teddie stared at him with big, pleading eyes. "It's your favourite and all."

Yosuke glanced down at the mess of cabbage and noodles in the bento, cold and half-eaten. Honestly, his appetite was non-existent and the thought of eating Narukami's cooking made his skin crawl. But Teddie's expression had a little too much desperation in it for Yosuke to just ignore. He gulped and smiled as brightly as he could fake it. "I'll save it for later. You should stop for now, too, mom wouldn't want us to ruin our appetites."

"You don't eat anyway." Teddie huffed, scooped up a handful of noodles, and slapped them against Yosuke's face. "Yosuke needs to eat, too. Eat and be healthy, Yosuke!"

Again, Yosuke squawked. "What the hell! Teddie, you're going to make a mess."

"Not if Yosuke eats his food like a good bear!"

"I'm not the bear here, you are!"

The bento was upturned and Yosuke was pretty sure they knocked over his letter box as well. He wasn't entirely sure, though, because all he could see was the yakisoba and Teddie's hands shoving them in his face. He heard their mother vaguely call for them, but it was drowned out by his and Teddie's squabbling. Yosuke, in all his brilliance, grabbed the tipped bento box and pushed it into Teddie's face.

Teddie squealed in delight, despite them getting food all over their floor and god, Yosuke hoped they didn't attract any cockroaches again. They rolled on the floor wrestling for a bit (jeez, Teds had gotten strong!), until the door to their room slammed open. They both jumped up and away from each other, like good children would when caught roughhousing. Their mother stared down at them, stern. "I called for you boys to come down for dinner."

Teddie giggled, his nervousness not at all reassuring. Yosuke busied himself with picking the food out of his hair. It was a miracle Teddie hadn't gotten anything in their eyes. Their mother watched them, waiting for a response. When their silence continued, she spoke again, her tone as stern as her expression.

"You're going to clean this up after dinner, I don't want bugs in the house again."

"Yes, mom."

Teddie hopped to his feet and waddled over to their mom. Yosuke swiped up what he could of the bento and the remains of the yakisoba off the floor. Their mother allowed Teddie to pass, but watched Yosuke with interest. At least it wasn't concern or disappointment. "Yosuke, whose bento is that?"

"Yosuke has a nice friend!"

Teddie's voice rang as he tromped down the stairs. Yosuke bit his tongue as an instant heat burned his neck, an unidentifiable emotion overwhelming him. Embarrassment? Shame? Anger? A mixture of all of the above? His mother, on the other hand, smiled brightly. "A friend?" Her excitement faded as she noticed Yosuke's discomfort. "Why did they make a lunch for you to take home with you?"

"It's not." Yosuke paused, mentally backpedalling through what he'd been about to say. Wasn't it weird to admit that Narukami brought him a lunch almost every day? That it'd been Yosuke's favourite today because Narukami had called Yosuke a trashcan the other day? Panicked, Yosuke blurted out, "He's practicing his housewife skills."

He cringed. His mother gasped softly, then smiled. "He's a cook? How sweet of you to help him, then. Just make sure not to excite your brother with these meals again, okay?"

"Yeah, mom. Sure." Yosuke ducked his head. His mouth was his worst enemy, bar none. As an afterthought, he glanced up quickly with an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

His mother shook her head and gently took the bento from his hands. "There's nothing you need to apologise for. Go, eat."

Yosuke softened and relaxed just enough to notice his stomach was, in fact, very empty. Unsurprisingly, really, but it meant he could eat dinner this time. It'd been a while since he last really ate his mother's dinners. He bowed shortly, then tromped down after Teddie.

Dinner was a warm, quiet affair with Teddie being less rambunctious than usual. Yosuke helped his mother clean up and they joked together, laughing and having fun as they worked. A pleasant air for once. Then Yosuke and Teddie headed back upstairs to clean up the yakisoba mess and get ready for bed.

It was almost surreal, too normal for the recent events. But Yosuke still had the rest of the week ahead of him. Spending it with Daisuke, Kou, and Narukami, well. It could've been worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [/quietly adds this here](http://stone-freed.tumblr.com/post/178540916774/so-i-read-the-wonderful-for-the-sake-of-the)  
>  this is so cute look at it ;w; ;;;


	8. Terrifying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If it hadn't happened again yet, then he would be walking on eggshells, waiting for it to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, while AgeofZero was beta-ing this for me, she brought up the fact that I should state this again, so:
> 
> Warning for Suicidal thoughts, Suicidal Ideation, and the like!
> 
> All right that's the psa thanks guys.  
> Are you ready for one of the fruits coming from having a living, not-dead Saki?? ;w;

[Part 6 - Terrifying]

 

A week. An entire week of awkwardly walking to school together, of sharing lunches mostly in silence (whenever Yosuke couldn't make a clean escape), of odd days where Narukami would show up at Junes to volunteer part time as a great excuse to continue making Yosuke teeter on the brink of shutting himself inside a closet and screaming. And, really, the worst part of it all was that it was Yosuke's fault.

Yosuke could've forgiven Narukami by now, cut out all the awkwardness and let it go. It hadn't been that bad to begin with. Sure, Narukami had called Yosuke trash and betrayed all the trust they'd built up over their tentative friendship, but that wasn't half as terrible as some of the other things the town had done to him. Sure, Narukami had fucked up, but he'd showed regret and was trying to make up for it.

So why was Yosuke still waiting for it to happen again?

That unfamiliar kid Yosuke had run into turned out to be a new transfer and the school was abuzz. He was a first year, Naoto Shirogane, and known as the Detective Prince. Apparently, the guy had grown up here and was practically a prodigy, all ready working with the police and solving crimes. Did something happen around town that the police were keeping quiet about? Had something happened that warranted the need of a private detective? Were the police looking into a way to lawfully get Yosuke thrown out of town?

He wanted to ask, but was afraid of what the answer might be. Besides, Shirogane had taken to hanging around that delinquent first year, Kanji Tatsumi, who had beat up a whole biker gang by himself and whose family also owned a shop in the shopping district. If anyone, besides Chie and the other dudes of the school, were to beat up Yosuke without further provocation, it'd be Tatsumi.

Then again, most everyone tried to steer clear of Tatsumi for one reason or another. There was a reason Yukiko continually spat dirty things about him, after all.

At least it was finally Saturday. Yosuke could spend his Sunday working and trying to figure out what to do about Narukami on his own time that way.

For lunch, today, Narukami had brought chicken quesadillas, complete with Spanish rice and beans for the sides. Honestly, Narukami could be so over the top when it came to these things and Yosuke didn't even want to know how Narukami got the ingredients needed for some of these dishes. And besides, every time, without fail, Yosuke ended up enjoying them way more than he'd expected. Even that time when Narukami had brought in a full deep dish pizza topped with barbeque chicken and jalapeños and he'd had to down four cartons of milk from the spiciness of it all.

Every lunch had that handmade touch, that love and care put into them. Maybe Yosuke was looking into it too much here, but the lunches made him feel special and appreciated. It helped him forget all that other crap that was happening, even if for just a moment. Yosuke really needed to get over himself about this all ready.

"Hey, Narukami-kun, have you heard?" Yukiko came over and stood by Narukami's chair, a strange occurrence as most of the other students begrudgingly left Narukami and Yosuke alone during their lunches. Narukami paused to swallow the bite of food he'd taken, then frowned over at Yukiko. She grinned, seeming ecstatic about something. "Tatsumi-kun tried to confess to Shirogane-chan and exposed the fact that Shirogane-chan isn't actually a boy! Doesn't that just make you laugh?"

She turned her gaze on Yosuke suddenly, her eyes cruel despite her continued smile. Yosuke shuddered and kept his eyes down, staring at the desk. What the hell was she trying to get from him this time? Narukami, meanwhile, shook his head. "That's nothing to laugh about, Amagi-san."

"Oh, but it is." Yukiko raised her hand to stifle a giggle. "After all, Tatsumi-kun isn't interested in women that way. Though, I do suppose that's good news for you, Junes-kun. Right?"

Something inside Yosuke snapped. It was panic that made him stand, but anger that came out of his mouth. "I'm not some freak of nature like that sicko, all right? So stop implying like I am!"

Narukami looked up at Yosuke, eyes slightly wider in shock. Yukiko, in a great display of acting, gasped softly and covered her mouth with her hand. "But Junes-kun, I've never made any such implications."

"Are you bugging Yukiko, you ass?"

Chie stepped over, huffy and her fists planted firmly on her hips. Yosuke took a step back, his arms trembling in both fear and outrage. "I-I'm not, she's the one who--"

"It's just so obvious to all of us." Yukiko continued, stopping Yosuke from defending himself. "That's why you hang out so insistently with Narukami-kun, right? You're hoping to seduce him?"

The panic seized through Yosuke and he quickly glanced to Narukami. "Nn-No--"

Chie gasped loudly. "Oh my god, how much more despicable could you get? Ugh." She wrinkled her nose in a sneer. Narukami frowned, genuinely upset, and that's what Yosuke's mind was catching on. Fuck, no, this wasn't happening. That wasn't true. Chie grabbed Yukiko's hand. "C'mon, Yukiko. You shouldn't even be giving him the time of day."

"I'm not!" Yosuke shouted, a bit too loudly considering the pounding in his ears. He wasn't the same as Tatsumi, he couldn't be, that was wrong. He spoke quickly, rushing the words out before he could fully think them through. "I'm not doing that, that’s not what I'm doing, I'm not even sure we're really friends, he's the one who refused to leave me the hell alone, I swear, I tried so hard, I can't be, I'm not a freak, I'm not--"

Narukami stood suddenly, stopping Yosuke from his panicked babbling making matters any worse. It couldn't be anything to be thankful about, however. Yosuke knew it without even having to look at Narukami. Yukiko frowned over at Narukami, much more concerned than Yosuke had expected. "Narukami-kun?"

Yosuke chanced a look and yup, Narukami's look held both disappointment and anger. God, now Yosuke had fucked up. Narukami nodded to both Yukiko and Chie, cordial and perfectly neutral. "If you'll excuse me, Amagi-san, I have some business to attend to." Narukami then turned to stare directly into Yosuke's eyes. "Hanamura-san, please clean up after you've finished."

Then he walked off, out of the classroom. Yosuke slumped down into his seat and stared hollowly at their half-eaten lunch on his desk. Yukiko smiled at Chie as Chie waited for Narukami to leave, then huffed down at Yosuke. "Now look what you did."

"He'll learn what a disgusting human being you are eventually." Yukiko added in, her tone so coldly polite that it would've given Yosuke chills under any other circumstances. "Why must you continue prolonging the inevitable, Junes-kun?"

Her tone was so fucking condescending and it made Chie laugh, but that earlier anger had left Yosuke. Now it was just panic and terror swirling inside him. When they saw they weren't going to get an answer out of him, they left to return to their desks. Chie grinned at Yukiko, nearly ecstatic. "Why didn't you do that earlier, Yukiko? That was fun."

"The timing had to be just right." Yukiko puffed up, almost prideful, before a thought struck her. "Oh, Chie."

"What, what is it?"

"Do you think sea urchin would make a better hot pot than starfish? Or do you think adding both would be best?"

Chie frowned and Yosuke couldn't listen to them any longer.

He'd fucked up.

Goddamn, he'd fucked up so bad.

He covered his face with both hands and tried not to let the panic take over. His mouth just didn't cooperate with him when shit like this happened. He was terrible under stress. He shouldn't have let himself admit any of that, even if he'd been stewing about it for the past two months. Even if it was the truth and he was just afraid of turning out -- of being like --

He took a deep breath and lowered his hands. No. If he had learned anything from the past year, it was that people were liable to screw up every now and then. Yosuke had fucked up here. And it was him who was the problem. No amount of excuses could change that.

He was just as disgusting as everyone said he was. He was just as disgusting as everyone else in this shithole of a town. Narukami really shouldn't have to deal with someone like him.

Yosuke, having lost his appetite completely, meticulously packed away the rest of Narukami's lunch and wiped down their desks. After everything was clean and the bento had been put away safely into Narukami's bag, Yosuke sat at his own desk and laid his head down on his arms. His stomach unhelpfully protested, the bile burning in the back of his throat, but he swallowed it back and kept his head down. He didn't have time to hide in the bathroom for this. He didn't deserve that luxury, anyway.

None of the other students took the bait. They all disregarded him instead of taking the chance to hit him while he was down with no Narukami around to save face in front of. They whispered and murmured amongst themselves about the spectacle, about how despicable Yosuke was, wondering if it was true that Yosuke might be _that_ way. None of them wanted to confront him directly, though. Not now, for some reason. It was a small reprieve that he didn't deserve and that stung all the more so because of that.

Narukami returned in time for when class resumed, like the good student he was, and Yosuke couldn't even stand to stare at the back of his head.

It wasn't like Yosuke had said those things directly to Narukami or that Narukami could be gay himself (though the amount of love letters the guy had received from the other boys in their school had been shocking, now that Yosuke reflected on it). Still, the bile rose in the back of Yosuke's throat every time he looked at Narukami, so calm and perfect, willing to hang out with someone as despicable as Yosuke, and it just made his eyes burn and the back of his neck crawl in discomfort.

Was this finally the breaking point? He'd been so sure that Narukami was immovable about this, but would Narukami abandon him now? Finally? Yosuke didn't like that the thought of it made him want to cling on tighter to their connection. God, he was a parasite, just as Chie had said.

He didn't have to put up with this hell anymore. He still had one last resort.

For a brief moment, the idea and image of the belt beneath his bed flashed through his mind. He could nearly feel it squeezing tightly around his neck, taking him out of this place. It was a strangely calming thought. Sure, things were going to shit after such a prolonged time of walking on eggshells, but if Yosuke was desperate enough, there was always that option waiting for him. Beckoning him with sweet, dark whispers, promising the escape he so longed for.

It would make everyone happy. It would make everything better. No one would have to suffer his woefully unneeded presence anymore. And life would go on without him.

The thought was tempting enough that his brain got caught in it for the rest of classes. The classroom shifting as students left for clubs or work or home was the thing that finally knocked him back into his body in the present. Narukami stood and Yosuke scrambled to get his things together, to come up with an excuse to leave early, to wiggle out of any potential conversations, but then Narukami placed a hand on Yosuke's shoulder and he froze.

"You should make sure to apologise to Tatsumi-san when you have the chance." Narukami said. His voice was level, stern, but not accusatory or unkind. "Take some time to think about it, too. Make sure it's genuine. Don't go into it just expecting to be forgiven right away."

Without really thinking, for the second time that day, Yosuke blurted out, "No one's forgiven me yet. Why would this be any different?"

Narukami seemed taken aback a moment, his eyes conveying nothing but sadness. Pitying Yosuke. He was just another disappointment. He ducked his head and went back to packing his things, brushing Narukami's hand off his shoulder.

"I'll. I'll make sure to do that. No worries."

Narukami nodded, then took his leave. That pitying look never left his expression and it may as well have been burned into Yosuke's mind. Yosuke's stomach lurched, but he held it in, refused to let it get to him. Now wasn't the time for more of Yosuke's pathetic reprieves. He didn't deserve it. Somehow, this hurt more than when Narukami had called him trash.

Yosuke didn't want to be such a disappointment. Not as far as Narukami was concerned. Somehow, that thought was more terrifying than the prospect of this town killing him.

On his way out of the school, he spotted Tatsumi and Shirogane at their lockers. Tatsumi was shouting at some other students while Shirogane tried to calm him down. The two were just another punching bag for the school to take their frustrations out on. Just two more worthless kids without anywhere they might feel safe and no way to fight back. Shirogane paused, spotting Yosuke. He averted his gaze and rushed out the school's front doors.

Not today. He couldn't confront them just yet. He was too much of a disappointment right now, he'd just fuck it up even more.

No matter what he tried, he was just a fuck up all around. The moment he stepped foot into Inaba, his fate had been sealed. By this point, he was tired of fighting it anymore.

Kou walked alongside Yosuke as he headed home, chattering away over something Daisuke had done during the day. Yosuke nodded along vaguely, simply waving goodbye once they'd arrived at his house. He waited for Kou to leave before facing the door.

He half-hoped no one would be home so he could just get it over with all ready. Unfortunately, both Teddie and their mother were home and bustling about busily (from what Yosuke could catch, it had something to do with Teddie wanting some sweet bread for dinner). As such, Yosuke settled for simply heading to his room and remaining there for the rest of the day, curled up in his bed.

Everything blended into darkness. The next thing he knew, his phone was buzzing. He blearily grabbed it to check, barely registering that it was just past midnight. The notification was apparently from Narukami.

Immediately, Yosuke was awake and sitting up in his bed. He hesitated to open the message, the shroud of being a disappointment still heavily draped over him, but at the same time Narukami was all Yosuke had left. Whether it was going to be admonishing him for his behaviour earlier or the admission that they should no longer be friends, he had to know.

He opened the message and forced himself to read it.

00:14 'There are so many more stars you can see out here than in the city. That's one advantage of being out here in the country.'

All right, so it had been neither.

Yosuke stared at the message a while, making sure he read it right the first time and reading it a few more times just in case, really trying to understand its meaning. Was this some roundabout way of telling Yosuke that even Inaba itself was better than him? Was it trying to get him to like Inaba? Telling him he was wrong for hating his lot in life?

His phone buzzed again with a new message before he could decide which option was arguably the worst. And what followed was a string of texts from Narukami.

00:16 'You know, I think this is the first time I've lived in a country town. Every place I've been to before has been a city.'  
00:16 'Sometimes I'd only stay a few months before moving again, sometimes it'd be a year, like this. I've always been the New Kid, either way.'  
00:17 'And my schooling's been such a mess, I had to get very good at studying new materials very fast. I think my favourite classes were learning about space and the solar system.'

Yosuke was really unsure of what to do or how to respond. Why was Narukami telling him all this? What was this supposed to prove? Yosuke really needed something better than a simple 'okay' to reply with, but he was coming up with a blank here. Really, he'd talked enough for the day. He didn't need any more opportunities to stick his foot in his mouth.

A few minutes passed with Yosuke struggling to find something, anything, to respond with. Then his phone buzzed as Narukami sent just one more text.

00:20 'If you want to talk about it, I'll be here. Until then, I won't press the issue. But I'd still like to talk to you if that's okay.'

Yosuke relaxed as he read those words. Why did Narukami have to go and be the nicest guy like that? He really should have forgiven Narukami a week ago. He typed the message out, but hesitated before sending it. No, it'd mean more if he told Narukami face to face. Instead, he sent a simpler, 'Thanks, dude.' Then, as an afterthought, 'I have work in the morning.'

It didn't take long for Narukami's response.

00:21 'Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. I hope you can get some rest.'

Yosuke smiled and typed out a short, 'Thanks, you too.'

He'd known from the start that he'd forgive Narukami in the end. The thought of it now, just like back then, filled him with an icy dread. Here was someone who could very well destroy Yosuke should things between them turn any more sour. And he would gladly let that happen. He deserved it in the end.

He didn't sleep very well after that and awoke to his alarm in a groggy, panicked state. Everything seemed unreal, without time as he got ready for work. Hopefully, the more he reminded his body that he was awake now and just had to deal with it, it would pass and he could reconnect his brain to his actions.

Either way, he was in for a long, exhausting day.

Work was boring and monotonous. Same customers glaring daggers at him, giving him hell, and being nuisances in general. Same goddamn theme playing over the speakers in a manner he was sure was a brainwashing tactic by the company at large.

Same new part-timers whom he had to call for a fifth fucking time because they weren't here yet and the staff was short today and his dad had decided, for some fucking reason, that Yosuke was qualified enough to handle calling them in. By the sixth time, he just let his dad take back over and took his lunch break.

The anger brought his head and mind back to reality, though it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. He wished he could be the wind, blustering with the force of a tornado and spinning himself out until he was still and calm.

Then again, he never really had the energy to spare anymore. This frustration would run its course and leave him ready for a thousand year nap. If only life would be so kind as to allow him that solace.

"Shouldn't you be eating during your lunch break, Hana-chan?"

Saki's voice came from behind him, making him jolt up straight in his seat and causing a clatter of noise with his movement. He cringed, but, from behind him, Saki laughed softly at his clumsiness.

"No wonder you never have any energy. Are you even getting enough sleep at night?"

She sounded so amicable, so casual. He slowly sunk into his seat, arms crossed over his chest to keep himself from fidgeting. "Why are you talking to me?"

She paused at this, losing her very casual tone and replacing it with hesitance. "I'm glad. That you're still here. That you haven't given in yet."

His stomach twisted and he had to fight to keep his breathing steady, to not let it quicken in panic. "I don't. I mean. Well. Of course I'm still here." He chuckled, devoid of humour. It sounded hollow even to his own ears. "Even if I tried to get out, I'm trapped here. Not like anywhere else would take in the disgraceful Hanamura Yosuke, heir to this shitty Junes branch out here in the boonies."

Again, Saki was silent. Yosuke winced. Maybe he'd taken that too far? This was her hometown, after all. But then, after a solid minute, she said, "Narukami-kun asked me about you a few weeks ago. You're not being too much of a doormat for him, are you, Hana-chan?"

"N-No?" Yosuke peeked behind him, saw Saki's hair, and faced forward again quickly. "I mean. He's nice and all, way nicer than I ever expected. But, uh, that doesn't mean. I'm not letting him. I mean, it's not like I'm pushing him around, but. H-He's a great guy, I'm the one who's."

She was laughing at him and he had to shut his goddamn mouth before he dug himself any deeper into this hole. Through her laughter, she managed an accusatory, "You're scared stiff of him!"

He made a few indignant squawks, attempts at denying this, before hunching himself forward and settling for an easy, "I am not!"

"It's okay." She petered out to giggles, then finally stopped laughing. "I was scared of you when we were friends, too."

All of Yosuke's indignity melted out of him. He slowly sat up straight again, though he didn't dare look back at Saki again. "You were?"

His voice was so small all of a sudden, so weak in comparison to the wide openness of Junes. She responded with a much stronger, more sure tone than he was capable of. "Having a friend can be the most terrifying thing in the world."

He turned his eyes to the surface of the table. All the times that cold dread had squeezed the breath out of him when Narukami had done something so right came to mind and he nodded weakly. "Yeah."

"Of course," She laughed half-heartedly, her tone full of regret. "I took the cowardly route out of the situation. But you haven't, and I envy you that."

"What?" He nearly turned around, all of his instincts telling him to say this to her, even if it was the back of her head, but he kept himself rooted. He kept his tone kind. "You weren't cowardly. You did what any sane person would've done in that situation."

"Are you saying Narukami-kun is insane?"

Her tone took on a teasing note, back to that earlier familiarity. Yosuke went to protest, then thought about it and conceded. "I mean. He kinda is. Dude knows how to cook every dish you could possibly think of and then some. And he's got this weird obsession with cats. He's got this picture of a bunch of the strays around Inaba as his phone's wallpaper and it's like. How'd he even get them all in the same place for that shot? Well, I guess he does like to feed them, which is like, why even bother? I went with him once and he was just so into it, so happy that it let him pet it while it ate, he said it took him a whole two weeks to get it to trust him so much. But I guess it's also kinda cool, 'cause I mean, he's just that kind of guy -- will you stop laughing at me?"

Yosuke huffed at Saki, but she continued giggling. She seemed completely unapologetic about it, too. He rolled his eyes, tapping his foot against the air.

"All right, yeah, I guess I've got too much to say about his love for cats, but it's not that weird. He wants to give them proper care and all, and it really goes to show what a great person he genuinely is. He can't just abandon them, he's--"

Yosuke stopped as the reality of the situation hit him. The constant lunches. The insistence on the whole 'bodyguard' thing. The pitying looks. The reason Narukami stuck with him was that he was just another stray cat. A project that couldn't be left alone until it had been nursed back to full health and could fend for itself once more. Yosuke was just another distraction until Narukami had to leave this place.

Even as Yosuke was proving to be more trouble than he was worth, Narukami persisted because that was just the type of guy Narukami was. It wasn't that he cared for Yosuke or that Yosuke was special or that they were birds of a feather or anything like that.

Yosuke was just another stray cat in need of Narukami's care.

His stomach gurgled uncomfortably and he shifted in his seat, everything suddenly too hot. "Well, whatever. I guess it doesn't matter."

"Sorry, just." Saki cleared her throat, ceasing her laughter. "You have a type, don't you, Hana-chan?"

"Type? What?"

He spun around to aim a confused look at her, immediately regretting his decision as he met her eyes. They twinkled with excitement and the understanding of a secret, much more lively since the last time he'd seen them. "Do you make a habit out of falling in love with anyone who shows you a shred of human decency or is it just the town aggravating that trait of yours?"

Yosuke opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. All that burning heat went to his face and he quickly turned away, covering his cheeks with both of his hands. "L-Love? N-No way. I'm not -- I wasn't -- I can't be--!"

He shook his head and slapped his cheeks, clenching his eyes shut from the stinging. There was no way he could've fallen for Narukami. There was no way he could've fallen for Saki! He wasn't that desperate, to just attach himself to whomever was being nice to him at the time. Saki, by the sounds of her chair scraping against the floor, had sat up on her knees and turned to face Yosuke completely. "It's okay, Hana-chan, it's a completely natural thing. In fact, I think Narukami-kun would be good for you. He seems like the type who goes in all or nothing, and you seem to enjoy his company despite your complaints, and if he's feeding you then that's just even better."

Yosuke slid his hands over his ears, his tone turning desperate. "Stop."

"And I'm not upset at you for crushing on me, either. I mean, admittedly, I did lead you on a bit there, but I am glad you just accepted it for what it was and moved on. Some guys don't get over a crush for years, which can be such a pain, but you proved to be the type who's quick to recover."

"N-No."

"Though, I guess the town might fault you for rebounding onto a guy. I don't get what their beef is with all that, we're a small town, it's a lot better than ending up dating your cousin or something."

"Please."

"But, honestly, fuck what they say or think. Hana-chan, if you find solace in Narukami-kun, then know that you have my full approval. I one-hundred percent support it. I'll even tell Naoki-chan to stop bothering you at work again. That boy really just won't quit, he's still convinced you're--"

"I'm not!!" Yosuke screamed it, interrupting Saki before she could go on any longer. It worked, as she stopped in her tracks into a stunned silence. He curled further in on himself, drawing his knees up to his chest and clenching his eyes shut tight. "I-I can't be, I'm not, I can't be in love with him, I couldn't be, I won't, I refuse to be, I'm not, I won't, I can't, I can't go through this. He's not, he's too."

Tears were fighting to spill from his eyes, though he was barely breathing as an odd turn of events. He took several shaky breaths, forcing the air painfully into his lungs. His posture really wasn't helping, but he had to keep himself together. He'd been threatening to fly apart at the seams and break down for so long now. Saki sank in her seat, losing all of her previous enthusiasm. "Wow. You weren't kidding. You really are afraid of him."

He took a few more gulps of air, then nodded slowly. "I'm petrified."

Even if he was just another stray cat for Narukami to care for, it was the better option over the ridicule and harshness that it could've been. Even if, at the end, Narukami would leave and never have to deal with Yosuke again in his life. Narukami had an out where Yosuke was just stuck here until the town finally killed him.

Yosuke laughed at the thought, humourless and dead, uncurling himself just enough to breathe comfortably again. "Besides, Narukami-san can't like me. No one should. I'm just as bad as the rest of the town."

Saki deflated, though her tone was hopeful. "You're not the same as them, Hana-chan. Not even close." She paused, waiting for him to reply in some way. When he adamantly remained silent, she went on gently. "It's all right if you find happiness in Narukami-kun's company. It's all right for you to like him and for him to like you."

"Yeah, well." Yosuke made a wry face and stood from his seat. "Even if it is, he's moving again once the school year ends. There's no reason for me to even treat it like an option when I don't deserve it in the first place."

She sighed softly. "I'm sorry, Hana-chan."

That was all she could say to him. It seemed to be all anyone had left to say to him that wasn't vitriol or poison by this point. He bowed his head and mumbled, "I'm sorry, too."

He walked off to clock back in, his break no doubt long over. Mostly, he was sorry that he existed. That he still existed. Saki was too kind to him for how much he'd made her suffer. Narukami was too kind for no discernible reason. Yosuke really, really wanted to believe that they were friends. If he had to be a stray cat, then maybe that wasn't the worst thing ever. It certainly made it easier for him to tell what the hell Narukami wanted from him in the first place.

As he finished his shift, he thought it over some more. Yes, he was scared of Narukami. Yes, he still resented Narukami for having a solid out of this town. But he undeniably wanted to continue being friends with Narukami. He didn't want to let go of the only person in the entire town who he could talk freely to without ridicule, no matter how selfish that was. He would forgive Narukami.

At the same time, if Narukami wanted to end their friendship finally, then Yosuke could accept that. It would be for the best if that were to happen. Narukami would go back to being fawned on, unburdened, while Yosuke would suffer alone. That was the ideal situation, really. Then no one would notice if Yosuke just disappeared one day.

Work ended and Yosuke gathered up his things to go home, pausing on noticing that he had a message on his phone. He checked and, yep, it was from the flawless man himself.

15:43 'I'll see you once you're out of work.'

Well, shit.

Yosuke balked at the thought of enduring an awkward walk home with Narukami. He didn't have much time to brace himself for this. He dawdled a little too long before exiting the store, hoping against hope that Narukami wasn't actually there.

But, of course, right there at the Junes entrance, was Narukami, waiting for Yosuke as if nothing was wrong. As if Yosuke wasn't a drain and a bother to hang out with. As if it actually mattered to them whether or not Yosuke was 'safe' from the rest of the town for a brief time. It was bad enough that Kou and Daisuke insisted on keeping this up. Why, oh why, was Narukami such a stubborn mountain about all of this?

Narukami noticed Yosuke and waved in greeting. Yosuke took a deep breath, smiled, and waved back. "Hey. Uh. What's up?"

"My turn to walk home with you."

Narukami smiled, though polite and strained. Not that Yosuke had any room to judge on that front. Narukami gestured towards the road and Yosuke gulped. "Thanks. I guess."

He followed Narukami along the path and he had to tell Narukami. He opened his mouth, but couldn't find the strength to speak up. It'd been too long a day. Too tiring. He was afraid he'd just fuck it up somehow and his head had started to pound. Just another part of him unamused with his shit.

He wanted to try again. He wanted to try and succeed this time. He wanted to get out so bad.

But he couldn't do that. He didn't have the energy for it.

Besides, he was just as shitty as everyone else. Maybe even more so. He deserved this.

The walk was, indeed, quiet and awkward. Narukami must not have had anything else to say. Yosuke certainly didn't want to have to open his mouth again. Not when he was liable to fuck up and blurt out what he was currently thinking. Still, he tried to push it out of the way by going over again and again how he could apologise to Narukami. How to politely and succinctly end their friendship. How to say all the things going through his mind without sounding like a whiny, needy asshole.

But then they'd arrived at his house and still the words stuck in his throat.

"Here we are." Narukami said softly, smiling that sad smile of pure disappointment. He turned to leave, raising a hand in parting as he did so. "Get some rest, Hanamura-san. You look exhausted."

Narukami was leaving. He was going to go, still disappointed and still dragging this on out of politeness. Things weren't going to get any better or worse if they just stayed like this. And, out of a panicked desperation that Yosuke had become so familiar with over the last eight months, he shouted, "Wait!"

It made Narukami pause and look back, which was the most important bit, but Yosuke still froze up. What was he supposed to say? What else could he say? He winced and withdrew his hand, wrapping his arms around himself.

"S-Sorry. Just." He took a short breath, shut his eyes, and it all came tumbling out. "You're right, you were right, I'm garbage, I am a piece of shit, I'm just shitty garbage and I'm so, so sorry you had to end up tangled in my mess. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I."

He caught himself, took in a shallow and panicked breath. Narukami didn't even seem shocked or phased, his voice steady in conviction. "You're not garbage."

There was no arguing with him, he was too polite and too stubborn. Instead, Yosuke switched to that other thing he'd been thinking about. "Why do you put up with me?"

He opened his eyes to stare down Narukami and, surprisingly, that seemed to be the thing to give Narukami pause. All that sureness drained away and Narukami had to actually think about it. Yosuke clenched his teeth together, spurred on by this exposed weak point.

"Why do you bother doing nice things to me? Are you really just doing it out of some misguided politeness? Can you not bring yourself to hate anyone? Are you just that nice?" Yosuke bit his tongue as the bitterness welled up in his throat. He should stop. He should really shut up. But goddamn it if this was the only way to get past all this walking on eggshells bullshit then he'd stick his foot in his mouth yet again. It was the thing he was the best at, after all. "Am I just a project for you to work on while you're here? A goddamn stray cat that needs your help? What, what is it?"

The bile and anger made his head hurt even more so than before. But whatever. He was going to fucking die anyway. Why not make it more painful than it had to be? Narukami thought carefully in that way of his, choosing every word as if it had the most importance in the world. He definitely held that advantage over Yosuke. "..Yes."

Yosuke opened his mouth, a retort primed on the tip of his tongue, then had to stop himself as the realisation sunk in. Narukami had admitted it. Therefore, he was aware of it. Yosuke had been right. He wanted to ask further, but the shock stuck in his throat and he couldn't even think of any coherent words to use. He was stuck staring up at Narukami, wide-eyed and chilled to his core.

"At first, at least, yes." Narukami glanced away, a little guilty and a little upset. "I didn't expect to be anything other than acquaintances. And when I found out about the rest and how bad everything actually was." He paused to grimace in pure disgust. "I couldn't stand back and let this happen to you. I wanted to help, I wanted to make things better for you."

Yosuke bowed his head, had to bite down on his tongue from the heat rising in his throat. He couldn't cry right here, he couldn't cry right now. That'd be too embarrassing and his head hurt enough all ready.

Narukami took a moment to think through his words once more, then began again. "But I've come to think of you as a real friend. You're selfless, willing to speak out against the crowd when they're putting labels on a new kid, despite knowing what they might do to you. You're too kind, unwilling to show your anger or hate to even the ones most vocally abusive towards you. You have so much hope, even with all they've done, and you do your best not to bother them though they don't at all deserve your kindness."

He paused a second to smile genuinely.

"I found myself admiring those aspects of you. And I would like it very much if we could remain friends."

Yosuke's head snapped up. "But -- but you're upset at me. I did. I'm not."

He shook his head, unable to force the words out. His whole body trembled. Narukami's smile softened, so forgiving. Too forgiving. "If I hated you for making mistakes, I'd be just as terrible as the rest of the town. We're only human."

There was nothing Yosuke could say to that. At least, nothing that wouldn't make him sound like an asshole. Besides, Narukami was right. Yosuke gulped and nodded, keeping his gaze down on the ground. Narukami reached towards him, then stopped and pulled back.

"Well. Goodnight Hanamura-san. See you tomorrow."

Narukami turned and walked off. After a moment, Yosuke collected himself enough to go inside his home.

Teddie greeted him loudly and their mother asked how his day had been. Yosuke answered that it'd been tiring and went straight up to bed. Thankfully, he passed out near immediately.

Nothing in particular woke him up. He simply realised he was staring up at the dark ceiling after his brain had time to adjust. He sat up slowly, quietly, checking around the room. Teddie snored softly in his bed and the lights from downstairs were off, meaning Yosuke was the only one awake.

He sat there for too long, too tired to really think. Then, with a strange calm, he pulled the belt out from beneath his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one is a shorter Intermission, so sorry in advance. I'm doing my best to get the next chapter written up, but it'll take a while yet. ;;


	9. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That darkest part of him was bored, was angry, was restless. Talking to it seemed like the best way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That feel when you forget to mention a pairing and have to add it in the tags ;;;;;  
> This one's short, my apologies, but I love the idea of Shadows so much that I had to work one in somehow. Thus, a small talk between Yosuke and his shadow.  
> (The next chapter should be up soon, I've got it ready to be beta'd.)

[Intermission - Shadow]

 

He really, really wanted to do this.

He told that to himself again and again, over and over, with increasing frequency. There was a sneering darkness inside of him that taunted him every moment longer he delayed getting it done.

It was inevitable, after all. There'd be no escaping it for much longer. The town was growing restless, calling for blood. At least if he did this himself, he could leave on his own terms. A last 'fuck you' to all those assholes.

But Teddie, his mother, his father. They'd be devastated. Yosuke couldn't hurt them like that.

So, what, then? Did he just have to endure it for their sakes? Would he have to put up with this shit for the rest of his life, just for them? Was he expected to be the scapegoat for these ungrateful shitheads until they killed him? Screw that!

Yosuke stared down at the belt in his hands as he sat on the floor of their bathroom.

Take the belt. Tie it around his neck. Hang himself from the rafters until he suffocated. Do it, now, before they took that away from him, too.

He raised the belt to his neck, wrapped it around and tightened it just enough.

He could do it right now. He had the chance to escape all this. All he needed to do was get off his lazy ass and do it all ready.

Escape. Get out. Kill himself.

He closed his eyes and wished for a moment, just one moment, that it could be true. Then he opened his eyes and loosened the belt, taking it off.

Immediately, his mind protested. What was he doing? He had a chance to get out of this shitty situation. Screw everyone else. He had to do it now before they had the proper chance to do it for him, before they could rip that away from him, too!

But he couldn't. He had to tell Narukami that they were okay. That he forgave Narukami, that he wanted to keep being friends with Narukami.

A wave of disgust rose up inside him, making him curl up on himself. He was worthless. Insignificant. And the real reason he had for staying friends with Narukami made him truly scum.

No. He wasn't like that. He couldn't be like that, couldn't be so easy.

And he couldn't run from the truth forever.

With a heavy exhale, Yosuke uncurled himself and stood. He'd put the belt away for another day. Until then, he needed to at least pretend he could sleep until morning.

Things were going to get worse. He'd bet on it, as sure as he had no luck. But he'd been lucky enough to somehow make friends with Narukami. He had Daisuke and Kou, too, as weird as that seemed. And all three of them seemed to think of Yosuke as a friend in return.

Yosuke had made it this far all ready. He could at the very least make it to the end of the year to see Narukami off.

If he set a goal, he had to meet it. Even the darkest part of him couldn't argue with that.


	10. You Need to Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were other people suffering besides him. He just needed to recognise that for it to make a difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write straight characters, whoops. ;;  
> Part one of Narukami being an actual force to be reckoned with. It begins now, folks.  
> (I thought this was gonna be a shorter chapter, but NOPE, 8000 words it is! ;; )
> 
> Thanks to my dear sis AgeofZero for beta-ing this~! ;w;

[Part 7 - You Need to Live]

 

"I forgive you."

Yosuke blurted the words out thoughtlessly, immediately on seeing Narukami that Monday morning on their way to Yasogami. It made Narukami pause in shock a moment before smiling. "Thank you."

Narukami had such a gentle, genuine smile. Yosuke nearly forgot what else he'd wanted to say. What he had to say. "And. And I'm sorry."

Again, he blurted the words out. Again, it gave Narukami pause, this time in confusion. Yosuke gulped, clenched his hands into fists, and continued still.

"If it's really okay with you, I. I want to continue being friends with you, too."

They stood there a while in silence, Narukami taking in Yosuke's words and Yosuke's shoulders trembling despite his best efforts. He had to trust Narukami on this one. No one as kind and stalwart as Narukami would lie for three months straight. Right? Narukami had to have been telling the truth about that. Yosuke had to trust him. Even if it meant Yosuke was opening himself up to the easiest potential fatality ever.

Finally, Narukami smiled and gave a short nod.

"Glad to know you feel the same. Otherwise, I'd have brought these latkes for nothing."

"Latkes?" Yosuke laughed, the tension breaking and pure, calming relief flooding into his body. "How are you this crazy skilled? I bet you even grew the potatoes yourself or something."

"Nanako does care for a garden."

Narukami shrugged and Yosuke just laughed harder. It was definitely a manic sort of laugh, but at least it wasn't born of panic this time. This time, it came from relief. Narukami chuckled along, then they continued on their way to school. As Yosuke took his seat behind Narukami in class, he dared think of them as partners. Partners in this battle against Inaba. Partners in the crime of rejecting the labels thrust upon them. Junes Boy and the Transfer Student. Together, they didn't have to care about any of that. Together, they didn't have to go it alone.

If there was one person Yosuke truly wanted to see all of him, including the bad, it was Narukami. And maybe that wasn't something he had to be so afraid of.

The day passed in a pleasant blur, with lunch being the highlight. Yosuke was actually hungry and the latkes were divine. Narukami had a real talent for cooking. The dirty looks, the not-so-subtle whispers, nothing could dampen Yosuke's mood for the day. He tuned them all out, focusing instead on making Yu laugh.

To his credit, he made Yu laugh a lot. His jokes at least weren't complete flops.

Yosuke spotted Tatsumi and Shirogane again as he was leaving, but decided against approaching them yet. His good mood might've been misinterpreted as mocking and, besides, he wasn't up for getting punched by Tatsumi today. Not today. He had work and all.

Work wasn't terrible and when he finally got home, he agreed to play with Teddie until dinner was ready. Teddie seemed ecstatic, his eyes practically sparkling with stars. It made their mother smile, too, so Yosuke put in the extra effort and went to bed exhausted, yet satisfied.

Things were going to get better. They just had to. He and Yu were partners now.

Still, the next morning, he made an effort to dial it down. He couldn't go being an overly annoying jokester who spoke too loud every day. That'd probably be the thing to drive Yu away. However, he still greeted Yu cheerily as they walked together and tried a joke or two to make Yu laugh. Daisuke and Kou joined them, too, and laughed as well. After everything, Yosuke was just grateful to have them at least.

Then lunchtime arrived.

"Hey, Narukami-kun." Chie turned in her seat to face Yu before Yu had the time to pull out his next wacky lunch. And Yu, being ever the polite friend, gave Chie his full attention. Which made Chie brighten up. "I have a quick question about the history lecture. D'ya think Miss Sofue meant that European knights were like samurai or that samurai were like the knights?"

Yosuke wrinkled his nose as Yu launched into an explanation on the subject. Someone was trying to earn some knowledge points so as not to fail finals next month. For some reason. Despite it being inevitable. Yosuke shook his head and went back to putting his things away for lunch, but froze on noticing that Yukiko had come over to sit in the desk beside him.

She was smiling that faux polite, bone-chilling smile again. A shudder ran down through his entire body.

"Hey, uh." He spoke up first, unsure of as to why. This hadn't been a good idea. He wasn't supposed to engage any of them. And now that he had, he had to find a way to finish it. "You need something?"

He had the worst reflexes. He had the worst reactions. Especially in these situations. Yukiko, surprisingly, leaned forward and placed a hand on his arm. "It's all right, you know."

Yosuke frowned, perplexed and taken aback. "What? What is?"

Yukiko removed her hand and sat back with a satisfied grin. "If you just killed yourself all ready."

Yosuke froze again, this time in pure shock. The floor may have well dropped out from under him and left him floating in space.

Yukiko giggled softly behind her hand. "Everyone would understand, of course. What with your making passes at Narukami-kun and being the symbol of what's killing the rest of us. In fact, it's rather embarrassing I have to tell you this at all, like you haven't figured it out yet."

"What hasn't he figured out?" Yu stepped in suddenly, seemingly finished with answering Chie's question. "What are you talking about, Amagi-san?"

"Oh, just things that are obvious to everyone." Yukiko stood from her seat and smiled so sickeningly sweetly at Yu. "If he's ever too much of a pain in the ass, Narukami-kun, just let Chie-chan and me know."

"And invite us to lunch sometime, too!"

Chie butted in, her voice a little too loud to be proper. Yu, though hesitant, nodded. "I'll think about it."

Chie grinned, victorious, and Yukiko clapped her hands together. The two then took their lunches and left the class. Yu watched until they were out the door with a confused but suspicious expression. He shrugged it off, however, and pulled out a neat bag with no doubt another crazy lunch inside.

He said something Yosuke didn't catch because Yosuke had focused in on the whispering around them.

"Junes boy's really laying it on thick."

"He's gotta be the same as Tatsumi. There's no other explanation for this."

"Ugh, he's so desperate, it's disgusting."

"He thinks he deserves the transfer's lunches just because he's trying to get in the transfer's pants."

"The transfer student's gotta know, right? Junes jerk couldn't be more obvious about it."

"Why's the transfer even humour that pieces of shit? The jerk's not worth it."

"Yosuke-san?"

The shock of hearing his actual name made Yosuke jump. He blinked a few times to refocus his eyes, to see Yu looking at him with a concerned expression. It was real concern, too. Yosuke's entire body felt numb and his hands were shaking pretty bad, so he crossed his arms to hold himself together at least a little bit. "S-Sorry. What'd you say?"

Narukami smiled, so very patient. "I asked if you'd prefer the tofu or the chicken."

Right. They were supposed to be having lunch. Having fun and eating the crazy thing Yu had brought today. Yosuke's head went blurry a moment, things seeming too squashed and fake. It passed, but his mind was all ready buzzing, all ready filling with a nondescript pressure that was making it hard to focus. "Um. Chicken. I. I can't eat tofu."

Yu hummed at this, then began portioning out their meals. Yosuke couldn't even identify what it was. His brain wasn't working. The room was too small. He wasn't getting enough air.

He stood too suddenly, scraping his chair against the floor and making the dishes clatter. Yu looked up at him, completely confused, and he didn't know what to say. How to explain it without sounding crazy. No. He couldn't explain it. Simple was better. "I can't do this today."

Honestly, he was shocked anything managed to come out of his mouth that coherent. Yu went to reply, but Yosuke was all ready rushing out of the room, away from the sneaky whispers, the disgust and lies, the assumptions and truth.

Because they were right. Saki-senpai was right. It was Yosuke who'd had it wrong. Apparently, he was that easy.

Despicable. Dirty. Wrong.

He'd told himself to do it while he'd had the chance. He'd told himself he couldn't run from that truth forever.

He just hadn't wanted to confront it so soon.

He ran face first into the roof's fencing, hard enough to get bounced back in the recoil. He held his hands to his face as it stung, but kept them there as he panted and his mind swam from all the things buzzing through it.

Why hadn't he just killed himself? Why was he so intent on causing others pain, on being a waste of space that refused to die?

It was true, it was true, Yosuke was 'that way', he had it bad for the one person to show him decency, to show him kindness and a refusal to give up on him. Somehow, some way, he had foregone logic and the emotion of the thing had just taken over.

He was in love with Yu. He had fallen for Narukami. He'd been running from it, denying it, yet they'd still seen right through him. Yukiko had noticed probably before even Yosuke had become aware of it in the back of his mind and now she'd told everyone and it just served as new ammo for them to throw at him.

God, how would Yu react once they'd told him? They were probably telling him right now. Would he finally reject Yosuke for this? Would he not believe them? Would this be the thing to make him abandon Yosuke, after everything?

Yu was tolerant. He had to be if he was this set on remaining friends with someone as dumb, shitty, and worthless as Yosuke. But for Yosuke to be in love with Yu, that changed things. It was different to be the target of such desires. It was disgusting for Yosuke to be that easy, for him to be that weak. It wasn't something a friend would do.

Dumb, shitty, worthless, trash.

This was how it was going to end.

"Stand up straight!"

The sudden shout was immediately followed by someone, probably the same person, yanking Yosuke to his feet by the arms. He hadn't even realised he'd curled up and crouched so low to the ground. The other person smacked him on the back, startling him further.

"Breathe from your diaphragm, not your shoulders! Focus on each breath, make each deeper than the last."

That was Kujikawa's voice. Yosuke nodded dumbly and followed her advice. Or, really, tried to. He wasn't exactly sure how to breathe from his diaphragm, and his lungs protested at the stress of inhaling all the way instead of taking shallow panicked breaths, but he put the honest effort into it. That had to count for something.

It took a minute, but finally, his breathing steadied and he could see again. Kujikawa was still there, staring up at him with her hands on her hips and a stern expression. Yosuke's body was still shaky, his mind still stretched thin, but he had to say something. He was expected to say something. He gulped and did his best to smile, to show he wasn't a threat, that he wasn't worth the effort.

"H-Hey, Kujikawa-san. Um." He racked his brain for something, anything, to add on to that. Gratitude was the only thing that came to mind that wasn't fear or self-loathing, so he went with that. "Thanks for -- um. For the help."

Kujikawa nodded slowly, her expression slowly becoming unsure and guilty. Over what, he couldn't imagine. Had she tricked him somehow? Was she about to throw him over the roof? Probably not, but he couldn't say he wouldn't welcome that. She then spoke up again, more hesitant than her previous commanding tone. "Do you want to talk about it, senpai?"

He shook his head immediately. "No, no, I."

He gulped, wiped at his face and was surprised at the lack of tears there. He hadn't been found crying, at least, then. But he'd still been found vulnerable. He'd still been weak and a fucking disgusting waste of effort. He was going to lose Yu, going to make Narukami abandon him for real this time. Yosuke's breath caught and his eyes burned and he started babbling, trying to distract himself from the tears threatening to spill out of him and being unsuccessful at keeping them in.

"I'm fine, I have to be, I can't show them that they're getting to me. I can't just act like I've been wanting to kill myself since I got that first note. Even if she says it right to my face, like I'm an idiot for not having done it yet. I know I'm worthless and stupid and killing myself would solve everything! I know that! I swear, I do, I'm just not able to do it and I can't let them see that I want it as much as they do."

Kujikawa stared up at him, horrified into silence. It hadn't helped. The truth just came tumbling out of Yosuke's mouth the more he talked and now he was crying, now he couldn't stop himself even if he was just revealing more and more of his weakness to her.

"And-And goddamn it if I didn't try! I tried so hard to deny it, to not acknowledge it, but they're right. They're fucking right, I'm weird, I'm an abomination, I somehow just couldn't help myself and had to go fall in love with him on top of all of this. Just the icing on top, the real final straw to break everything, I'm just as disgusting as the rest of this shitty town, I'm in love with him."

Yosuke covered his face with his hands and screamed into them. At least he muffled the noise somewhat. He'd slipped, he'd broken, and he was doing all of this right in front of Kujikawa. She could let the whole town know now and that'd be it. It'd all finally end. Thank god.

Yosuke pulled his hands away from his face and took a deep, steadying breath. "But I'm fine." He spoke the words with a surprising amount of conviction, even if his tone was laced with too much sarcasm to be sincere. "I have to be. This is what I deserve for being the disappointing, Hell-spawn of Junes that I am. It's my fault that Junes is here, that shop owners aren't able to make ends meet anymore, that your grandma's shop is having a bad time. Every misfortune, big and small, is my fault. I'm the one to blame. I'm just a piece of trash that should've been thrown away years ago. But I'm just fine."

He grinned to emphasize his point. Kujikawa's horrified expression shifted to one of doubt. "Are you sure about that, senpai?"

Her tone seemed to pierce through all the bullshit, biting enough to make him flinch back. He bowed his head and raised a hand to hold onto his headphones, his faked grin fading. "Sorry. That was. That sounded." He winced. "I'm really an ass, huh?"

He hadn't meant to throw all that pent-up bitterness at her. It wasn't her fault that the whole town hated him. It was his own damn fault for being so unlikeable in the first place. He wiped at his tears, though they just kept coming, and shook his head.

"Sorry, Kujikawa-san. I didn't mean to waste so much of your time. You can. Uh."

She was going to tell them all that he'd been broken, that he wanted so desperately to die. Maybe they'd finally let him. But, when he glanced up to see if she'd gone, she was still standing there. She seemed hesitant and he finally noticed that she was holding an envelope in her hands. "Um. Senpai. You know."

He frowned, genuinely taken aback. She seemed to be struggling to find the right words, fiddling with the envelope in her hands as she thought. Finally, she nodded once and met his eyes.

"If you can still admit your own faults after everything we've put you through, then you're miles ahead of the rest of us."

She smiled sadly. As if he was supposed to understand and agree with that. He wrapped his arms around himself, a pre-emptive measure against his arms or hands shaking too noticeably. "But. I'm not, really, I. I'm just as terrible as everyone else."

She bowed her head, unable to meet his eyes anymore. "I'm sorry I didn't realise earlier how similar we are." She turned to leave, paused, then looked back at him. "Thanks for using my name. Your secret is safe with me."

She winked, a little cheeky, and walked off towards the roof exit. He was left standing there, his face wet with tears, at a loss for words.

Despite how genuine she'd seemed, he still didn't trust her words. Despite how she'd been without any hint of malice, he just couldn't bring himself to believe that she'd keep this to herself, that she wouldn't out him to the rest of the town. He knelt down and buried his face in his hands, his mind too frayed to worry that much about it.

He should've done it. He'd had the chance. Now he was going to have to sit back and wait for the town to kill him.

Then again, if he did die, this Hell would simply continue. A worthless, terrible person like Yosuke deserved all this suffering.

Everything was his fault.

He waited until the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch, to even move. Then he returned to class and spaced out the rest of the day. The only coherent thing able to run through his mind was how he should've died by his own hands while he'd had the chance. Narukami looked back at him, no doubt trying to see if he was all right, but he couldn't acknowledge. Couldn't notice. He wasn't sure he'd be capable of speech at the moment, much less any response that wasn't something along the lines of, 'I want to die'.

Besides, the whole of the class was watching, an oppressive atmosphere in itself. The fact that their scorn, this time, hit too close to home just made that dull panic in the back of his mind steadily louder and louder.

Finally, finally, classes were over. Yosuke allowed himself to relax, to be thankful for the brief reprieve going straight home would provide. And in the time Narukami was distracted by Chie and Yukiko, Yosuke slipped out of the classroom and headed out of the school.

If they walked back together today, after all that, it was pretty much admitting that they were right. And, besides that, Yosuke needed a break to think this over, to give himself the time to process this. He had to accept that it was true, that he'd just ended up falling for Narukami. At the same time, he didn't want this. He wanted to reject this part of himself. Because if it were true, if he was this easy, then how could he trust his own sense of judgement ever again?

Right before he exited the school, Daisuke fell into step beside him and slapped Yosuke's back in a friendly manner. "Yo, Hanamura-kun. Ready to head out?"

Yosuke tensed at first, but recognised Daisuke and relaxed. "Y-Yeah. Sure."

They left together, Daisuke easily keeping pace with Yosuke's walking speed. Daisuke frowned at him, confused. "You okay? Something happen that you wanna talk about?"

Yosuke grimaced and shook his head. "Not -- Not really."

This whole thing was such a tangle inside of him, he needed to decide what to feel about before ranting any more about it or asking for any advice. Daisuke nodded in understanding, speaking carefully. "You know, Narukami-kun told me something recently about how we shouldn't be worried about being gay. That even if others thought of us as abominations, that we should be proud to be the way we are."

Yosuke froze in his tracks. Daisuke, still very casual, pivoted to face him and grinned.

"C'mon, let's go to the Samegawa floodplain and talk more there."

Daisuke gave a tilt of his head, then walked confidently ahead. Yosuke gulped, took a moment to steel himself over, then followed after. He really didn't want to admit this to anyone, to talk about it at all, but Daisuke was a friend. He could trust Daisuke. Probably. And it might be nice to talk for a while with Daisuke, regardless of the subject.

Yosuke could do this. He could use some normalcy after today. Even if this conversation wouldn't exactly be entirely normal, it was more normal than Yosuke spilling his guts out in a panic to Kujikawa, of all people.

As they walked together, Daisuke chattered mindlessly about other things that'd happened that day. Kou had, apparently, answered a question correctly and scored a three-pointer during gym and made Daisuke laugh so hard while they were eating lunch that Daisuke had nearly choked and Kou called him an idiot for it. Yosuke listened, but it was a bit strange to hear Daisuke babbling on so much. Usually, these walks were in a comfortable silence. It wasn't terrible, but Daisuke certainly had a lot to say about Kou.

When they arrived at the Samegawa floodplain, Daisuke took a seat down on the grass. Yosuke hesitated, but followed suit and sat next to Daisuke. It took a minute before Daisuke finally spoke up again. "You're not so great at hiding how you feel, Hanamura-kun."

Yosuke tensed up, but frowned as casually as he could over at Daisuke. "What? What do you mean?"

"You're great at smiling and trying to laugh things off when you're suffering." Daisuke went on, then suddenly grinned. "But trying to pretend like you'd be better off without us as friends? Like Narukami-kun's mistake didn't break your heart? We can see right through that."

Yosuke deflated, bowing his head. So much for keeping all this to himself. So much for keeping the town from learning that they'd broken him. He grimaced, but kept his head down. There was nothing he could say to that, no way of denying it.

Surprisingly, Daisuke continued. "I kinda admire that about you, though. Kou says I'm such an open book about my thoughts, but such an enigma when it comes to my emotions that it took him a while to really believe that I'd meant it when I asked him to be my boyfriend."

Yosuke nodded, then paused. Wait. His head snapped up. "You and Kou are--?"

"See?" Daisuke threw his hands up in the air, exasperated, but smiled in the end. "You probably couldn't even tell."

A cold grip squeezed Yosuke's lungs as a thought struck him. "This whole time. You mentioned that."

Again, he was wracked with the realisation that it wasn't just him. There were other kids dealing with their own shit here, too. Strangely, it didn't make him feel any worse. It just felt like a truth that he'd known in the back of his mind, but never paid too much attention to. He'd just been too concerned with his own issues that it never really occurred to him.

That wasn't very kind of him. That wasn't selfless or understanding at all. And, considering the comments he'd made towards Tatsumi could be attacks on Daisuke and Kou, too, Yosuke had fucked up more than he'd realised. He ground his teeth together, drawing his knees up to his chest and held tightly onto them. "I never noticed. I'm sorry."

"It's all right." Daisuke chuckled, reaching over to pat Yosuke's back gently. "You didn't treat us any differently from the other students, even after they started getting really bad. I appreciated it. Kou says he never had any quarrel with you, either, so we decided to be friends as much as we could."

Yosuke took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from crying. "I didn't really do anything that special, though. I wasn't any better than the others."

If he had known, he might have treated them the same as the way the rest of the school treated him. If they had told him earlier, he might have cut them out and scorned them. How could anyone think Yosuke was kind or selfless when this disgusting darkness existed in him? Daisuke pulled his hand back. "It was pretty special to me." He stretched his arms up into the air. "Anyway, just wanted you to know. You matter to us, Hanamura-kun."

Yosuke wished he didn't. But it was too late to change anything, to take anything back. Here was another person to inevitably disappoint. Another friend who would eventually leave him once they saw that terrible side of him. Yosuke swallowed back those dark thoughts and did his best to keep his voice even. "Thanks."

Daisuke went silent, watching Yosuke carefully. Even under the scrutiny, Yosuke's thoughts stayed back. For once. After a minute, Daisuke stood up. "And you make sure to let us know if you need to vent or talk or anything, yeah?"

"Vent?"

Yosuke frowned up at Daisuke, uncurling himself just a bit. Daisuke nodded. "If it's about nothing, if it's about the serious things, if you just want someone to listen. Just call one of us up. We're here for you, don't make us have to find you crying your eyes out by chance again."

He offered a hand down to Yosuke. They meant well. Yosuke shouldn't trust them so much. He accepted the hand and Daisuke pulled him to his feet. Daisuke smiled and Yosuke did his best to return it. "Sorry about that."

"No need to apologise." Daisuke grinned brightly, weirdly comforting in how genuine it was. "We understand."

Yosuke shouldn't trust anyone at this point. But, if there'd been one thing that had become apparent from all of this, it was that Yosuke hoped against hope far too much.

They walked the rest of the way to Yosuke's house in a relatively uneventful trip. Daisuke chatted some more about mundane things (summer had arrived, they should make plans for summer vacation, he was really looking forward to the camping trip and playing some soccer matches) until they'd arrived at Yosuke's house. Yosuke thanked Daisuke, waved in parting, and entered. Once inside, safely away from Daisuke, he sank to the floor and covered his face with his hands.

They were friends. They were trying to help. Even if Yosuke wasn't worth it. Even if they thought of him as something he really wasn't.

Everything had told him that being different was wrong. As the town's scapegoat, the last thing he wanted to be was gay on top of that. Yet here they were. Yet here they were.

"Yosu-nii!" Teddie's voice brought Yosuke back into the present and Yosuke's head snapped up. Teddie stood in the entryway, a little hesitant but beaming. "Why're you sitting over here? C'mon, let's play a game!"

Yosuke took a deep breath, then forced himself up. "Sure. What game you wanna play?"

Though not completely reassured, Teddie perked up with excitement. He waited (under the guise of pretending to think very hard about this very important question) for Yosuke to remove his shoes, then he reached out to grab Yosuke's arm to insistently tug Yosuke inside. "Let's play the game of telling what you want for your birthday!"

Yosuke stumbled a bit, but didn't fall this time. He frowned down at Teddie. "My birthday?"

"Yeah!"

Teddie puffed out his chest and, while it was cute how subtle he thought he was being, Yosuke couldn't make himself play along. "That's not a real game, Teds."

"Sure it is." Teddie huffed and continued pulling Yosuke along. "We can even take turns. But Yosuke has to go first because his birthday is the closest."

"It is?"

"It is!"

Teddie puffed out his cheeks, getting upset. Yosuke, genuinely confused, had to pull out his phone with his free hand to check the calendar. Sure enough, it was June. It was all ready June. A sinking sort of sensation took over and his entire body drooped from the sudden onslaught of exhaustion.

He didn't deserve to get anything. He didn't deserve to be celebrated. He couldn't think of anything he wanted more than to get some uninterrupted peace away from this goddamn Hell.

In the end, he shook his head and gently pulled his hand from Teddie's grip. "I have to think on it some more, okay?"

"That's not fair!" Teddie raised his voice in a whine, over the top and petulant. "You said you'd play with me!"

"Yeah, well." Yosuke heaved out a breath, hoping it could demonstrate just how tired he really was. "I'm not feeling up to it anymore. Sorry, Teds."

He gave Teddie's head a firm pat, then passed Teddie to head to their room. Teddie continued whining loudly, despite it never working to get him his way. "Yosuke's always tired because Yosuke needs to eat! Come eat and play, Yosuke! Yosuke, stop trying to go to sleep!"

That last note made Yosuke cringe, made him pause mid-step, because Teddie sounded so close to tears. So close to real, upset tears, not his fake crying as he did when he was being dramatic. And Yosuke had to force himself to keep moving, to not think about the fact that he'd scared his little brother so badly by being an unlucky, worthless piece of garbage.

As far as he could tell, Teddie hadn't told anyone about it yet. How could Narukami have ever thought him kind when that was his biggest concern here?

The disgust tasted like bile at the back of his throat and he went straight to bed, curling himself up in his sheets and wishing to be somewhere else for a change. Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to actually fall asleep. He dreamt that he was on the roof with Kou and Daisuke, who were egging him on about something. Then Narukami appeared and stabbed him right in the heart.

He jolted awake, annoyed at himself for worrying about this that much. It was an hour earlier than he needed to be awake, and Teddie was snoring peacefully in his own bed, so Yosuke resolved to take a nice, hot shower to help him snap out of it.

He wasn't selfless at all. He was just as annoying and clingy as everyone said he was. That was why Saki-senpai couldn't handle being his friend anymore. He couldn't be kind when he hated these people, this town, and himself so damn much.

Narukami was the one who was kind, putting up with the idiot of Junes, certified garbage human being and the worst thing to exist on the face of the Earth. Narukami was the selfless one, trying to care for Yosuke as if he was another goddamn stray cat.

And still, somehow, he would hold onto it until the day Narukami left to never bother with him again. How could he be so audacious to think of them as partners?

Yosuke shook that darkness from his head, finished getting ready, and left for school. If nothing else, it was at least comforting for the time being. As long as he kept it to himself, as long as he never admitted it to Narukami, then he could pretend it was just another way to shut him down and therefore had no basis in reality. As long as he kept pretending, it could overwrite his existing emotions.

Yosuke got to school half an hour earlier than usual. A very light smattering of other students were walking about (probably all club leaders or study hounds), the most surprising of them being Narukami all ready at his locker. Yosuke was so taken aback that he approached without thinking, asking, "What're you doing here so early?"

"Hm?" Narukami glanced over at Yosuke, pausing in the middle of removing some letters from the locker. "Oh, Yosuke-san." He smiled on recognising Yosuke and completed his motion, closing the door carefully afterwards. "Good morning. You're here early, too."

Yosuke grimaced. "Fair enough. What'cha got there?"

He pointed at the envelopes in Narukami's hand, trying not to look too panicked or guilty. Were they hate mail? Letters trying to convince him that Yosuke wasn't worth it? The one most visible had a heart sticker on it, but that could mean anything. Narukami, in response, looked to the letters in his hand, then shrugged. "Nothing of consequence."

Before Yosuke could even react over what the hell that could mean and how the fuck Narukami could say that in such a way that was so terrifying, Narukami turned and walked to the nearby paper waste bin and ripped every single one of them in half as he threw them in. His words and tone had been chilling enough, but the dismissive neutral expression with which Narukami did this was what made Yosuke frozen with fear.

His body told him to run, run far away from this angered mountain. But Yosuke, of course, was an idiot.

He ran over to Narukami and tried to grab out some of the ripped pieces. "W-Woah, woah! Aren't these, uh." He paused a moment to look over one of the scraps. His eyes caught the kanji for 'like' and adjusted appropriately. "Love letters? You're gonna break even more hearts than you have all ready!"

"They're not."

Narukami stared coldly down at the scraps. If Yosuke was reading that wrinkle in his brow right, the tension of his lips, that coldness was out of disgust. Again, Yosuke's instincts were telling him to run, but he persisted. "I-I'm. I'm pretty sure they are? Someone put their heartfelt feelings into this, and--"

"They're not." Narukami said again, this time more insistently. Yosuke shut his mouth and Narukami continued. "They've barely known who I am for two months now, three if we're being generous, and they think they can start a relationship with me just like that?"

Narukami shook his head and, yup, that was definitely disgust in his expression. Yosuke swallowed involuntarily, heat prickling at the back of his neck and making him fidgety. Narukami was right. They hadn't known each other that long. It was impossible to say something as crazy as that so soon. Yosuke was just the worst.

"How can it be heartfelt?" Narukami mumbled, glaring down at the torn papers. "When they'll turn around and drag you down, down, down."

Yosuke frowned. That didn't sound right. "What?"

Narukami shook his head. "They'll get bored of rejection soon enough." He carefully took the pieces that Yosuke had managed to grab and dropped them in with the rest. Then he looked back to Yosuke, a little less livid but just as intense. "You should, too."

The world seemed to stop around them and Yosuke's entire body went cold. "Wh-What?"

He barely gasped out the word, his chest tightening and his heart pounding in his ears. Daisuke had said he was readable. Was that a warning? Did Narukami know? Narukami took Yosuke's hand and lead them to Yosuke's own locker. "Dump it. All of it. Don't give any of it any sort of acknowledgement."

The world was moving again and Yosuke could breathe, if a bit unevenly, but that panicked adrenaline still made him too tense. Still pounded at his mind and kept him from properly comprehending what was happening. "H-Huh? What? Wh-What are you talking about?"

"This." Narukami knocked on Yosuke's locker, the soft metallic krang ringing impossibly loud in Yosuke's ears. Narukami gave Yosuke a gentle push towards it. "Go ahead. I've seen you do it a few times -- ah." Narukami paused suddenly, seeming to realise something, then backpedalled. "I -- hm. That must have sounded. Sorry, I moved the topic on in my head without doing so aloud first. Sorry."

Narukami shrank back, genuinely embarrassed about this. It was way too familiar a sight. Yosuke had done the exact same thing so many times before. All that panic evaporated and he laughed from the relief it left behind. Narukami bowed his head lower, probably flinching from the suddenness of Yosuke's laughter, but it was so nice to have had a simple miscommunication cleared up and it was so refreshing to see Yu making a mistake like this, one Yosuke had made before, reaffirming that Yu was human and real and not some perfect deity like the school had kinda built him up to be.

Yosuke couldn't help it. He laughed and grinned at Yu, in too deep to go back by this point. "You're seriously too cute sometimes, partner."

That got Yu to look up. "Partner?"

Then it was Yosuke's turn to backpedal once again. "Err -- I mean --"

It'd just slipped out, he hadn't meant to call Yu that aloud. Shit. That was too familiar. Yu had just complained about that! Yosuke was just the worst. He was just the worst with this stuff!

Yu quietly thought it over before surprisingly nodding in affirmation.

"Partner. I like it."

"N-No, I didn't mean to." Yosuke, too flustered to do much else besides babble meaninglessly as he tried to take it back, to play it off like a joke, ended up stuttering messily in his attempts. "Sorry, that sorta just. I-I was just -- I didn't mean to -- it's too familiar, it's-it's weird, it's not--"

"Yosuke." Yu placed a hand on Yosuke's shoulder. The sudden frankness of being called by his name, no honorfics, was enough to make Yosuke halt immediately and allow Yu to go on. "It's okay. I like it." Yu removed the hand and stepped back. He nodded towards Yosuke's locker again. "Let me help you clear this out today, partner."

That was too much. That was really too familiar. This was where his inability to react to these sort of situations which put him on the spot like this came to bite him in the ass hard. He was floored, flustered, and pretty sure he was blushing on top of that.

Just the slightest bit of familiarity and Yosuke was falling over himself. He was in too deep. He was so fucked.

He took the briefest of moments to gather himself, to not be an obvious idiot about this, and quietly opened his locker. "Sure. Yeah. Careful, though. There can be, uh. Nasty things in here."

Yu frowned at that, but did proceed to help Yosuke clear out the mess of hatemail and junk. Thankfully, there were only a few tacks shoved into his school shoes this time and no bugs or frogs, so at least it wasn't as dangerous as it could be. Yu didn't even let Yosuke deal with the fake love notes. Everything went into the trash.

It helped just enough to make Yosuke relax. He was definitely playing a dangerous game here, waiting until Yu eventually figured out that Yosuke was selfish, disgusting, and a waste of effort. If he hadn't all ready, that was. Yosuke was definitely setting himself up to get screwed over, for an inevitable rejection.

For now, though, it was nice to have someone to lean on. It was nice to not be completely alone.

By lunchtime, Yosuke had made up his mind. So, before Yu could pull out the lunches, Yosuke stood and braced himself. "I'll be right back. I gotta go. Find. Take care of-of something."

Yu simply smiled, just as reassuring as earlier. "Take your time. I'll wait."

"Thanks."

Yosuke smiled in return, a weaker one as it occurred to him that he was being a jerk here for making Yu wait, but he rushed himself out of the classroom before he had the chance to lose his nerve or properly think about it. That also meant he couldn't correct himself. Shit. He shook it out of his head and pressed onwards refusing to let anything delay him any longer.

While he hadn't given any thought as to where he might find the two and a dull panic began to creep into the back of his mind, it thankfully didn't take him too long before he stumbled across Tatsumi and Shirogane, who had secluded themselves in one of the second floor stairwells. They were both startled frozen for a second (and, hey, so was Yosuke), then Tatsumi stood up. "What do you want, punk?" He growled out, brandishing his fist. "You wanna go, too? You gonna make fun of us like all the rest? Huh?"

Shirogane frowned up at Tatsumi, clearly meaning to talk reason into him. Before Shirogane had the chance, however, Yosuke gripped his hands into fists, then bowed politely. "I came to apologise."

Shirogane turned his interest on Yosuke, a calculating expression in his face that reminded Yosuke of Yu a bit. Tatsumi, on the other hand, grimaced. At least he backed down from being ready to brawl. "Really, now?"

"Yes." Yosuke kept his head down, paced his breathing, and repeated over and over in his mind that they weren't going to forgive him. Still, he had to do this. "I'm sorry for contributing to the hatred everyone was throwing at you. I'm sorry that I judged you without even knowing you. And I'm sorry for saying those awful things about you. It wasn't to your face, but that doesn't change that I said them out of ignorance and fear."

They were both silent as they processed what Yosuke said. He'd done his best with the words and experience he had (really, he, of all people, shouldn't have even fed into the whole thing; he knew what it was like to be judged without being able to defend himself), but he still held his breath and waited for the inevitable blowback. Of course, because his life just worked that way, Tatsumi spoke up first, his tone an underwhelming blasé. "Uh. Okay."

"I forgive you, Hanamura-senpai."

Shirogane's tone, in contrast, was so filled with resolve that both Yosuke and Tatsumi looked towards him. Tatsumi, perplexed, frowned. "What?"

"I forgive him." Shirogane smiled confidently up at Tatsumi. "He's apologising and I understand how easily he could fall into the traps that the whole town has laid out in our names."

"But-But he's just a punk!" Tatsumi protested, throwing an arm out to the side. "I'd believe that he's just doing this 'cause Narukami-senpai told him to before I'd believe he's actually sorry!"

Yosuke flinched. That was fair. And true. He ended up speaking quickly, the panic building and interrupting them before they could continue. "You don't -- You don't have to forgive me. Neither of you do. I'd get it. Really, I would. I just." He winced and, unable to stop himself, continued. "It was a terrible thing to do. Saying you're a freak of nature just because of who you wanna date. You're not, I was wrong, it was wrong of me to even think that."

Despite having borrowed some of Yu's words, it still wasn't enough. It'd never be enough. Ugh, now he knew how Yu must've felt back then. Tatsumi scowled, puffing up in preparation to probably shout Yosuke down, but Shirogane placed a hand on Tatsumi's arm and, just like that, Tatsumi deflated. Satisfied, Shirogane nodded to Yosuke. "Thank you for your apology. Some people will never realise they've made errors of judgement, so I admire you for trying to correct yourself to the best of your abilities."

Yosuke hunched up his shoulders, kneading the cuffs of his sleeves between his fingers. He didn't deserve this. He'd screwed up so bad. He didn't even know the two of them and he'd been so desperate to believe that something, anything, could take even a little bit of the hate off of him. And he'd become disgusting in that desperation. Tatsumi crossed his arms over his chest and grumbled. "I don't get why you're so willing to forgive this punk right away. Haven't you heard about him?"

"We all make mistakes out of fear." Shirogane replied softly. "Hanamura-senpai is the only one I've met here so far who's trying to make up for his mistakes."

There were too many mistakes. Yosuke could never make up for all of them. The best way to atone for all the wrong he'd done would be to die.

Yosuke straightened himself up quickly and motioned to the stairs. "Anyway, uh. He's -- Narukami-san's -- I-I'm making him wait -- I gotta--"

Unable to get a full sentence out, he simply turned and ran. Well, that'd been a disaster. As expected. But he got it done. He was through with that and didn't have to worry about it any longer. Unfortunately, that didn't help him relax or stop trembling at all. He was such a wreck. And to think, just the other day, he'd thought things were getting better.

When he returned to his classroom, he saw Yu in conversation with Chie and Yukiko. Yu looked tense, though. Tense and angry. And Yosuke couldn't attribute that to the way his own distress seemed to make everything around him layered in distress. A sudden stab of panic made his stomach clench up and he had to hold back the urge to vomit.

"That's your fault, you know." A nearby student hissed, glaring daggers at him from her desk. "If you'd stop pathetically throwing yourself at the transfer student, then he could make friends with someone besides you."

Yosuke gulped, watching the way Yu's brow creased in a scowl, the subtle way his eyes narrowed as Chie said something he didn't agree with. If Yosuke hadn't gotten in the way, then Yu could be friends with the whole school. If Yu hadn't pulled Yosuke out of that trash can, then maybe Yosuke could've gone through with things all ready and ceased being a problem for the town.

This town would never be satisfied. They'd just find another scapegoat to torture. Instead of finding that thought comforting or heartbreaking, Yosuke was suddenly livid.

He whirled on that student, acting without thinking for the hundredth time in the past two months. "At least I know his goddamn name."

The student seemed taken aback at Yosuke's sudden shift in emotion, unable to find a retort quick enough. Yosuke stormed over to Yu's desk and placed a hand on Yu's shoulder, refusing to look at Chie or Yukiko.

"C'mon, let's eat somewhere else."

Yu looked up at Yosuke and smiled. "Sounds good to me."

Chie sputtered and Yukiko half-glared, half-frowned in concern, but Yosuke ignored them as he grabbed his bag and lead the way back out of the room. Yu neatly picked up his two bento and followed after. If that wasn't just the most empowering thing, then Yosuke couldn't imagine what would be. He stormed through the halls, leading the way to the stairs and wound right back up at where Tatsumi and Shirogane were.

"Mind if we join you for the remainder of lunch?" Yu asked, practically grinning.

Tatsumi seemed unsure, but Shirogane gave the okay, so they spent the next ten minutes eating as much of Yu's lunch (this time a beef stroganoff with some zest, not too strange but delicious all the same) as they could. Then the bell rang and they had to return to class. Yu wished the other two well and Yosuke echoed the sentiment, though he was a bit too angry to say much else.

No matter how much he wanted it, Yosuke couldn't escape. The town would just turn on the next target. If Yosuke could accomplish one thing in his goddamn pitiful life, it would be to bear the brunt of this so that no one else had to go through the Hell that was his life. So that Daisuke and Kou wouldn't be ostracised any worse. So that Yu wouldn't be held on an impossibly higher pedestal than he all ready was. So that Shirogane and Tatsumi wouldn't be absolutely lynched every goddamn day.

So that Teddie wouldn't have to know anything close to all this.

That motivation carried Yosuke until he got home. Teddie came to greet him and he pulled Teddie into a tight hug, apologising over and over. Teddie, for his part, seemed confused, but gladly hugged back.

They would have to kill Yosuke with their own hands before he let them harass anyone else. That much was an inevitable, absolute certainty.


	11. Making Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To understand the appeal of Social Links, first he had to make some friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh I missed Yosuke's birthday, had to split this chapter into two parts, and then this pushes the word count over 50k. I'm mad.  
> In other news (I'm like a month late for this sorry), my sis [AgeofZero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeofZero/pseuds/AgeofZero) (on top of beta-ing for me) wrote an amazing companion piece to this called [Magician's B-Side Mix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772599/chapters/34165178) and y'all should check it out if you wanna know how stone cold furious Yu can get! It's pretty good!  
> Also, [whattheheckdidyoudo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whattheheckdidyoudo) wrote a really cute fic inspired by this one called [Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14808819) that y'all should also check out! ;w; (it's not linked to this fic purely because it's not part of the canon, but it's super cute and I highly recommend it ;w; )
> 
> Without further ado, the camping trip!

[Part 8 - Making Friends?]

 

"You know what pisses me off?"

Yosuke looked up at the familiar voice to see Kujikawa standing above him, hands on her hips and, indeed, looking huffy and pissed off. Before Yosuke could ask or otherwise get a word in, she continued.

"The fact that I participated in this bullshit, too. I bought into it without realising how fucked up it really is."

She glared around at what Yosuke supposed was meant to be the rest of the town, even though they were just at the Samegawa floodplain. He had sat down at the gazebo to wait for yet another fake love letter and, instead, wound up being confronted by Kujikawa like this. He was certain that it hadn't been her who'd sent the note, hers always had a specific character to them. So then what was she doing here ready to rant about the injustice of all this to him?

She ended back on him and kept going. "Junes isn't your fault, it's impossible for it to be. Yet we all readily accepted it as the truth. Who even started this? How did they manage to convince everyone in town that you were to blame? Why you? You're not the mascot or even the face, you're just the son of the manager to this branch! It makes no sense!"

He raised his hand, trying to stop her or at least catch her attention. "Uh."

"Well, whoever it was, I'd like to give them a piece of my mind." She huffed, oblivious to his small attempt. Something had lit a fire inside her and she was going to get it all out. "And another thing, how could Amagi-senpai think it was okay to just out Shirogane-kun like that? Like, she doesn't even deserve the 'senpai' nicety, she's straight up just a jealous bitch who--"

"Woah, woah, woah there!" Yosuke flailed out his arms, effectively cutting Kujikawa off. She blinked at him, surprised into silence, but didn't continue this time. Phew, step one down. He lowered one hand and ended up using the other to rub at the back of his neck nervously. "Why are you talking to me again?"

He cringed as soon as the question left his mouth. Stupid, he was so stupid, he should remember one of these days that he was not good at speaking to anyone on the spot like this. Kujikawa, however, smiled brightly and laughed softly in embarrassment. "I tried confessing to Narukami-senpai, but he rejected me, too."

Yosuke frowned, thrown for a loop. "What?"

"After I talked with you on the roof." She lowered her gaze to the ground and her smile turned sad. "I knew he'd reject me, but I still wanted to do it. I wanted him to reject me. Because, at that moment, I'd have rejected me, too, for all the horrible things I've done."

Yosuke wasn't the only one suffering. Again, he had to remind himself of that. He shook his head and tried to use his most reassuring tone. "You haven't done anything that horrible, though."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You're too nice, Hanamura-senpai. You're too self-sacrificing. This town has so taken advantage of that too much."

He wasn't that nice, though. He was just as selfish and despicable as the rest of them. He opened his mouth to say this, but then she was talking again, shutting him down before he could.

"Don't tell me you're not, no person would take all this abuse if they didn't believe that it'd be better for them to take it rather than it be focused on someone else on some level. That's true selflessness right there. And," She held up her hand, stopping him again as he tried for another refute. "Don't tell me that you did something to deserve it. That's bullshit and you know it."

Yosuke grimaced, defeated. "All right, fine. What's the point you're trying to make here?"

"The point." She smiled, pointing at him and winking in what seemed to be a mockery of his own weird quirk. "Is that I never realised how similar we are and now I'm going to try and make up for that by making sure that your challenger never gets the chance to confront you."

She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips, so proud of herself. Yosuke, taken completely off-guard, bolted up to his feet and quickly looked around the area. "What?" He tried not to look so panicked, he tried to put on an offended front (why bother when they all could see through his façade anyway?), but he was breathing too fast and his eyes were open too wide. "N-No, that. It's not a challenge, it's real this time. It-It has to be!"

He knew it was a shameless lie, but he had to hold on to something. Otherwise, they'd just get more upset and things would get worse. Kujikawa raised an eyebrow at him, all the sarcasm apparent in her posture, but kept her tone civil. "Hanamura-senpai. I won't sit by and participate anymore. They've done enough and we need to fight back."

He took another step back, his arms frozen in place and trembling. "Don't. Please. You can't, they're not gonna stop until I'm dead."

"We'll make them stop." She nodded, her conviction solid and absolutely terrifying. "Until then, I want to help. Tell me -- tell us -- what we can do to help."

Her tone and expression was genuine. It really reminded him of Yu. A spike of ice cold fear was driven through his chest and he stumbled back a few more steps, finally able to move his arms in order to hold himself. "I. There's."

Nothing.

There was nothing any of them could do to help Yosuke. They couldn't do anything. No amount of trying to convince the town otherwise would make them stop blaming Junes and Yosuke for everything. The most help they could give him would be to abandon him, to go the hell away all ready and just let him shoulder this on his own. The most they could do would be to stop getting close to him.

Yosuke took a deep breath and shook his head, reigning in that panic. Kujikawa huffed in response, but seemed to recognise his stubbornness on the matter and backed down. "I get it. I do. Just don't think I'll give up so easy, okay? They're not about to start calling either of us by our names and I won't stand for it any longer."

She gave a final soft, kind smile, then turned and walked away. Yosuke waited a moment for her to get far enough away, then also took off to head back home. If there had still been a challenger, they'd either have been scared off by Kujikawa's appearance or had been waiting for Kujikawa to leave and now had been stood up by Yosuke.

He couldn't worry about that right now. Right now, there were a few bigger issues at hand to think about.

He got home and headed up to his room. Teddie was there, of course, and Teddie perked up on seeing Yosuke enter. "Welcome back!"

Yosuke sat on his bed, wishing to be alone but too tired to do anything about it. "Hey, Teds."

He was probably gonna go to bed without dinner again. Now that he'd returned home, away from the harsh eyes of the town, he just wanted to sleep. Teddie, unaware, hopped over to sit beside him. "You never played that game with me."

Yosuke raised an eyebrow. "What game?"

"Yosu-nii was gonna tell me what he wanted for his birthday."

Teddie grinned, all proud of himself. Yosuke rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself. "I haven't had a chance to think more on it."

"Do you wanna go to the city for the day?" Teddie looked up at Yosuke, suddenly very serious. It was surprising enough to make Yosuke hesitate and gave Teddie the time to continue. "We can go to the mall and hang out, sing karaoke, do city things that Yosuke misses. We can be out of town or the whole day so nobody will bother Yosuke."

Teddie stared up at Yosuke with hopeful, pleading eyes. Yosuke softened and raised a hand to ruffle Teddie's hair. "Thanks, Teds. Maybe we can do that, but we gotta ask mom and dad, first. They might be planning something."

"They're not." Teddie puffed up, proud of himself for having thought ahead about this, but Yosuke's breath caught in his throat. "I asked and Dad said he'll be working and Mom said she's just gonna buy you a cake!"

Their parents were busy. Their parents had lives of their own. Of course they wouldn't be able to clear off everything just for Yosuke's sake. Asking or hoping for that much would be too selfish. Having a birthday, a whole day dedicated to celebrating his existence when literally no one else should care, was all ready too selfish. It was just a normal day for everyone else. How could Yosuke impose so much on the rest of the world? How could he be so selfish as to think that anyone would care about the disappointing, irredeemable, waste of space that was him, the reason why the town of Inaba was suffering?

"Yosuke?" Teddie spoke again and snapped Yosuke out of that spiralling downward darkness. He made sure to look at and actually focus on Teddie, to reassure the small bear that he was still present and listening. "We can. Um, we can invite your friends to come, too, if you want. I won't mind."

But Yosuke didn't have any friends.

No, that wasn't true anymore. Yosuke had made friends, he just didn't want to bother them or force them to go along on a whim of his.

He grimaced, had to get this conversation off this topic all ready. He grabbed the first related thought and ran with it. "Hey, Teds, don't you have any friends?"

Teddie, at first, puffed up again. It only lasted a moment, however, as he deflated and twiddled his fingers together, staring down at them in embarrassment. "Some of the other kids think my costume is cool and cute."

A creeping dread laid itself across Yosuke's shoulders and he frowned. "Teddie."

"Some of the others aren't so nice, but I ignore them 'cause they're mean, so it's not so bad." Teddie shifted on the bed, looking every bit uncomfortable as he sounded. "Do we have to talk about this, Yosu-nii? It's not that important."

Yosuke's hands clenched reflexively, scraping his nails against his bedspread. He forced himself to relax and raised one hand to rub Teddie's shoulders. "You having trouble at school is important."

Teddie shrugged his hand off and hopped up to his feet, turning to face Yosuke. "So is Yosuke's birthday! Don't change the subject, Yosuke!"

Ack, Yosuke had been caught pretty immediately there. He ran his hand through his hair, then looked back at Teddie. "If the other kids at school are giving you a hard time, then let me know. I'll make 'em stop."

"You can't!"

Teddie huffed and dashed out of their room. Yosuke should've followed, should've done something more, but Teddie was right. Unless Yosuke could somehow destroy Junes to the point of erasing its own existence, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't stop the town from treating himself like a disgusting piece of garbage, why would he think he could help Teddie?

The only thing he could do was lessen the abuse. As long as Yosuke was there for the town to throw sticks at, they'd throw less at Teddie. That was all Yosuke was good for at this point.

He went to sleep and that sense of defeat passed. He had more immediate worries, like the camping trip coming up. Most of the school complained about it every single day, but Yu, Daisuke, and Kou tried to reassure him that they'd be there, it'd be fine. It'd been too long since Yosuke had been 'fine' doing anything in this town. It wasn't like they were getting out of town, really. Still, he at least tried to act like he was excited and reassured. It seemed to work for the most part as they left him alone.

Yu had suddenly become cold towards Chie and Yukiko. Every time they tried to talk to him or ask him about some school stuff, he ignored them completely, acting like they didn't even exist. They were getting more and more upset each time, but surprisingly hadn't written any notes to Yosuke about it.

Actually, Yosuke hadn't received any hate mail or the like in the mornings all of a sudden. Yosuke would arrive at school after being walked there by either Kou or Daisuke and Narukami would always be there, right next to Yosuke's locker.

But, again, Yosuke didn't have much time to think about it. Because, all too soon, Wednesday arrived and he took a trip to Junes with Yu to prepare for the trip. He asked Yu about what they'd have for dinner (since, in a surprising twist, lunch wouldn't be the main event this time), but Yu said he'd had it handled all secretive-like. Yu had even asked if it would be okay to invite Daisuke, Kou, Tatsumi, and Shirogane along. They weren't all in the same groups, but Yosuke agreed without even thinking about it. Having a big group together to eat would be fun. It'd make things a lot less lonely. Yosuke was even kinda looking forward to the event of it all.

He didn't consider any consequences. Right now, he just liked having a group to call friends.

Thursday morning, as Yosuke was getting ready to head out, Teddie bawled and Yosuke had to reassure the poor bear he'd be back tomorrow. Despite this, Teddie still attempted to cling to Yosuke to keep him there. His parents told him to be safe and Yosuke promised he'd be fine, even if he really had no control over that.

Picking up litter together wasn't so bad. It was a nice type of physical labour and enough to take Yosuke's mind off things for a while. And, as a bonus, a large majority of their school had called in sick, so it was emptier than he'd suspected. Even if that meant King Moron was out for blood more so than usual.

Both Saki-senpai and Naoki were there, in charge of organising all the litter and keeping everyone hydrated. Saki-senpai smiled at Yosuke each time she passed them. It was always tinged in sadness and Yosuke tried his best to pretend not to notice. They weren't friends, after all. If he tried talking with her, he'd just be a nuisance.

The day passed quicker than he'd expected and, finally, it was dusk and time for dinner. Yosuke collapsed into the seat at one of the tables, fanning himself futilely. "Man, I can't believe someone tossed out a whole bike. Like, if you're gonna trash it, why go through the extra effort to drag it all the way out here instead of going to a shop or something?"

Yu hummed in reply, too busy getting his things out to start cooking. Daisuke, Kou, and Shirogane all took seats at the table with Yosuke. Tatsumi, meanwhile, walked over to Yu's side. "Need a hand, Senpai?"

Yosuke cringed, suddenly sheepish and overly aware of his own failure to contribute anything meaningful to all the fun lunches Yu had made over the past few months. He'd never even once offered to help or bring anything, despite buying drinks being the easiest and most obvious goddamn thing. It'd never even crossed his mind.

Some friend he made.

Yu smiled warmly (not just politely, Yosuke noticed) and shook his head. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I would very much appreciate it, thank you."

"Woah, so polite!" Kou laughed brightly as Tatsumi stumbled over himself, too flustered to properly answer. Kou stood as well and joined the two of them. "I'll help, too, then. Just tell us what to do, Yu-san!"

Yu bowed his head briefly to the both of them, a grateful smile on his face, and they all carried his supplies to the provided pot to get started. Yosuke slumped forward in his seat, fiddling with his fingers. Daisuke, beside him, looked across the table to address Shirogane. "That was some good, hard work, huh, Shirogane-kun?"

"Y-Yes." Shirogane nodded, looking a little shocked that Daisuke was talking to him. "I suppose it was. And it's rewarding to know that we're contributing to the world, even if it's just a little bit right now."

"Exactly."

Daisuke grinned and got an unsure smile from Shirogane for his troubles. Yosuke decided that the natural pause was as good a time as any to jump into the conversation. "Hey, uh. Shirogane-san?"

Shirogane turned his attention to Yosuke. "Yes?"

Daisuke, at the same time, laughed and patted Yosuke's shoulder. "You don't have to use 'san' for him, Hanamura-kun. Shirogane-kun is our kouhai."

That was true, but. Yosuke grimaced a moment, then continued. "Has there, uh. Been some sort of accident or something that happened here recently?"

"Oh." Shirogane smiled suddenly, a very reassuring ease to it. Both Yosuke and Daisuke leaned forward a bit in anticipation of his answer. "It's nothing like that, no need to worry. I've simply returned home to complete my schooling."

There seemed to be something sad in Shirogane's tone, like there was another, more personal reason for his return, but Yosuke didn't get a chance to wonder about it for long as Daisuke moved the conversation along. "So you're from Inaba, too? Small world."

Shirogane's smile had a fondness to it and the moment passed. "Yes, so it seems." He quickly glanced back towards Tatsumi, Yu, and Kou, then returned to addressing Daisuke, his expression more neutral. "What do you suppose they're making?"

"Dunno." Daisuke leaned back in his seat, a very casual air about him. "What d'you think, Hanamura-kun? Got any educated guesses?"

Yosuke frowned as he had to think it over. There was always so much variety in what Yu could cook. Anything could be on the table, considering how determined Yu could be. The limitations of the provided cooking pot could mean nothing to that guy. In the end, Yosuke shrugged unhelpfully. "Knowing him, it could be anything."

Daisuke reeled back, playfully groaning in annoyance. "C'mon, didn't you go with him to get the ingredients? You gotta know."

"Wow, you guys certainly came prepared."

All of a sudden, Saki-senpai was there, standing at their table, Kujikawa beside her. Yosuke tensed up and turned his gaze down at the table, firmly not looking at either of them. Shirogane took note of this, but Daisuke seemed to have no qualms in addressing them. "Why wouldn't we have?"

"Fair point there." Saki-senpai laughed lightly. "This is a rare treat, though, getting to see Yu-kun in action. Talk of his abilities has been all over the school."

"Senpai looks so talented." Kujikawa added in, her tone dreamy. "You guys are so lucky."

"Ah, Saki-san, Kujikawa-chan." Yu greeted them politely and Yosuke's head snapped up. Yu was holding a stirring spoon, regarded both Saki-senpai and Kujikawa warmly, and had used Saki-senpai's name so casually. "How are you doing? Have you eaten yet?"

"Not yet, but we're about to."

Kujikawa practically bounced with energy, grinning and looking every bit the fabulous pop idol that she was. Saki-senpai smiled as well, just as friendly and casual as Yu seemed to be. "Nao-chan insisted on cooking for us. You might have some competition on the way, Yu-kun."

Yu laughed. "If that's true, I look forward to it."

Yosuke was too busy reeling. Did the two of them know each other? Since when? Why were they being so friendly towards one another? What the fuck was happening?

"Um." Shirogane spoke up, interrupting the polite and baffling conversation. "Narukami-senpai. Is this very appropriate?"

Yu's expression fell to a concerned frown while Kujikawa and Daisuke looked puzzled. Then several things seemed to all happen at once. Yosuke stood abruptly to say it was fine, he needed to go pee, Yu and Saki-senpai both attempted to apologise for the awkwardness, and Kou shouted above all of them. "You can't--!"

"Frickin' assholes!" And Tatsumi shouted above them all, effectively drawing the attention of the whole area. "Did you hear us say you could have some? Hell no!"

Yu's hands clenched into fists, his eyes narrowing just enough to trigger Yosuke's instinct to run again. Then Yu went over and actually smacked away the hands of the curious other students. "This isn't for you. You don't get any."

His words were like a slap in the face, blunt and succinct. Kou was taken aback, too, and the affronted students were frozen in shock, so at least it wasn't just Yosuke who found it frightening. Tatsumi, on the other hand, seemed as gung-ho as Yu about this. "You tell 'em, Senpai!"

"That's right!" Kujikawa stomped over to stand beside Yu, taking Kou's place as Kou slowly backed away. "None of you deserve Senpai's food. It's for Senpai's friends and them only, and that includes Hanamura-senpai whether you like it or not!"

Yu, seemingly spurred on by Tatsumi and Kujikawa's support, continued to defend the food from the others. Daisuke stood and went over to Kou's side, no doubt seeing if he was okay, and Saki-senpai withdrew from the commotion altogether.

Yosuke, stupidly, caught her eyes a moment, but then she ducked away, out of the danger zone. He didn't blame her. Every fibre of his being was telling him to run as well, to get away before things got any worse. There'd be hell to pay once Yu had his back turned. All they'd need is a second to remind Yosuke that everything was terrible and he didn't think he could handle that again so soon.

"Hanamura-san." Shirogane's voice cut through the noise, much gentler than Yosuke had expected. He refocused on where he was, what was happening, and realised that Shirogane had grabbed the sleeve of his track jacket. Shirogane looked carefully up at Yosuke, understanding in his eyes. "Sit with me. It's all right."

Shirogane could tell that Yosuke had been about to bolt. Sheepishly, Yosuke obliged and sat back down, beside Shirogane. "I. Uh. S-Sorry, I."

"You don't need to explain yourself to me." Shirogane spoke again, his tone even and reassuring. He'd saved Yosuke from stumbling through some awkward lie or babbling in a panic, at least. "I know that the current situation is very stressful, but it's better you stay here, with us, instead of running off on your own to get ambushed."

Yosuke flinched at the thought. "S-Sorry. I didn't. Think about it that way. I-I."

"You're not at fault here, it's okay." Again, Shirogane stopped Yosuke from going on by speaking up again. "It's a perfectly natural reaction to have in the current predicament. Were it not for the possible danger, I would want to run, too."

So Shirogane had the same instinct, then? Somehow, that was the most reassuring thought out of everything. Yosuke took a deep, shaky breath, then exhaled slowly. "You're so logical, Shirogane-san."

Shirogane bowed his head quickly, using the brim of his hat the best he could to hide his embarrassment. "O-Oh. I. Sorry, that's just. Was it too cold and calculating? I-I was trying to rationalise in the face of your strong emotions, but I should have asked first, shouldn't I have?"

Yosuke ended up smiling, that panic ebbing away despite the loud argument still happening so close in front of them. "No, it's good, it really helped. Thanks."

"That's. You're welcome, Hanamura-senpai." Shirogane relaxed a little, letting out a small whoosh of breath in relief. "Sometimes, I use logic over recognising the emotions and I tried that method with you first without even thinking about it."

"It definitely helped, so, hey!" Yosuke grinned. He could control his breathing and didn't want to bolt out of there, so he didn't even need to lie about this. "It's nice to know there's some rational explanations for all the stupid stuff I end up doing in a panic."

Shirogane nodded, then smiled fondly down at the table. "Kanji-kun told me something similar when I was first learning about this."

A thought struck Yosuke and he asked without giving it any further thought. "Are you guys dating?"

"Uh." Shirogane froze up, his shoulders bunching up in embarrassment. "Well. He did. Ask me, and then. I did. Accept it, so."

Shirogane pulled down the bill of his cap furiously in an attempt to further hide his face, but Yosuke could still tell that his face was beet red. Yosuke thought to tease Shirogane about it a little (it was really cute to see the logical detective so flustered over something like this), but he had a more important question to bring up first. "So then. You're really."

"I identify as male, yes." Shirogane rushed the answer out, not letting Yosuke finish. "Whatever you've heard from Yukiko-san is a spiteful lie. So, please, if you must, use 'kun' when referring to me."

"O-Okay." Yosuke pulled back slightly in shock. He didn't fully understand this, but that was why he asked in the first place. "Sorry. I-I wanted to make sure that I. That I didn't, um, mess up again."

Shirogane took a deep breath (and Yosuke noticed that Shirogane had tensed up in anger, not fear or panic), then faced Yosuke again. "Thank you, Hanamura-senpai. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just."

Shirogane grimaced. Yosuke could feel Shirogane's frustration as if it were his own and he nodded along. "I know that feeling."

Shirogane smiled wryly at the sentiment. They had more in common than Yosuke thought they might have. Despite Shirogane's near-robotic approach, he was just as human and troubled as they all were.

Yosuke was starting to like this more than was safe. Getting to talk to others and know them as human beings hadn't seemed like it would be this intoxicating.

Daisuke and Kou finally rejoined them, just as Yu, Tatsumi, and Kujikawa brought over the finished food. The whole dang pot. Yu could be terrifyingly adamant. Kujikawa wished them well, then left back to her own group. She sat with Saki-senpai and Naoki, so that explained why they'd just showed up together, at least. Yosuke wanted to ask why Yu had been so gosh dang friendly with Saki-senpai, but couldn't find a right moment to ask. It'd seem rude and hostile, anyway. Yosuke shouldn't have cared about who else they were friends with, anyway. He had no right to be jealous.

Which of them was he more jealous of, though?

It seemed Yu, Tatsumi, and Kujikawa had done a good job at scaring everyone off, thankfully, as they weren't bothered for the rest of the meal time. And the food was great, even if Yosuke couldn't recognise what it was at all (Yu said it was a shrimp gumbo? The rice was surprisingly sour and that was the only thing Yosuke could take away from it). But then, as meal time was ending, King Moron stomped over to their table and Yosuke could all ready hear the guy slapping them all with unwarranted detentions.

"You lot better get to your tents. Remember, girls and boys have different areas!"

He glared down specifically at Shirogane and Tatsumi bristled. Yu frowned as well, looking fully intent on saying something, but Yosuke ended up being quicker. "Why's that relevant to us?"

"Don't be cute with me, Hanamura." Morooka barked. "You're all ready on thin ice and I know you city boys always have only one thing on your mind. If I so much as catch any of you sneaking around where you're not supposed to be, I can promise you'll regret it."

Yosuke frowned, keeping his mouth shut this time. There was no arguing with the King Moron when he was on about all this shit. Morooka sneered over all of their heads, once again stopping on Shirogane.

"And I fully expect you to go to the girl's area, Shirogane, so don't even try arguing with me about this."

Tatsumi, practically seething, jumped to his feet and shouted, "He's a guy, damn it! How many more times do we gotta say it to you assholes?"

Yu nodded in agreement, tensed and ready to join in if he was needed. Shirogane bowed his head to hide his smile, though it looked more strained than before, and Kou grimaced. Yosuke, meanwhile, had to sit and think this over.

Despite Shirogane insisting he was a boy, Yukiko and even King Moron weren't willing to believe him. It was completely different, yet it was also the same as Yosuke's own situation.

Morooka, of course, carried on, completely nonplussed at Tatsumi's rage. "It says she's female in her records, therefore you can't fool me. I know what you're really after with her, you teens are all the same."

Tatsumi made the slightest motion and Yosuke could tell from just that the intention to punch King Moron's lights out. And, as much as Yosuke would've loved to see that, he stood (at the same time as Yu, though Yu went to grab Tatsumi's arm to stop him more effectively) and practically yelled, "If Shirogane says he's a guy, then he's a guy! End of discussion!"

That seemed to get not just King Moron's attention, but the few students around them froze to listen as well. All of their eyes went to Yosuke and, much to his discomfort, immediately turned hostile. They'd made a scene while preparing their meal. They were making a scene now and it'd been too soon after the other incident. Yosuke gulped, his hands beginning to shake, but he couldn't step down. Not now, not about this.

He was meant to be the sole focal point of their abuse. It only made sense. He wanted to shield his friends from all of this.

"Teacher." Yu spoke up, his voice cold and professional. "Meal time is over now. We should be heading to our tents for lights out. Isn't that right?"

It was polite, yet relayed that Yu had the ability to crush Morooka if needed. How Yu could speak so audaciously and with such confidence to a teacher, to King Moron of all the teachers, was enough to make the world resume, to break everything out of that hostility in order to continue on like normal. King Moron grimaced and backed off, clearly outmatched. "Get to bed, then. And there better not be any trouble from the lot of ya!"

Morooka stomped away and Yosuke sank back down in his seat, the realisation of what he'd done hitting him swiftly in the gut. Why had he spoken up? Why had he just provoked the crowd even more than usual? If he'd been alone, then fine, he was an idiot, he could take the consequences. But Shirogane, Tatsumi, Daisuke, Kou, they were all right there with him. They'd get targeted, too, or at least caught in the crossfire.

God, how could Yosuke be this dumb? What the fuck was he doing, acting like he could be on equal ground with these people? He'd messed up bad. Again. When would he learn that his involvement only ever caused pain for others?

A hand gently pressed against his shoulder and he flinched, recoiling away to get away, to run before they could exact their retribution. But it wasn't one of them, it was Yu. It was just Yu. There was no reason to freak out so much. Yosuke pressed a hand against his chest, a vague attempt at calming down his hammering heart, and tried to smile up at Yu. "Sorry, s-sorry. You, uh. Caught me off-guard, there."

Yu frowned in reply, that familiar upset to it. "It's all right, Yosuke. Let's get to our tent."

Yu kept his hand out towards Yosuke, an offer that was clearly a choice that Yosuke could either accept or refuse. And, despite cursing at how needy and desperate it made him look, Yosuke needed all the grounding he could get at the moment. He gratefully accepted, taking Yu's hand and letting Yu lead the way over to the tents.

They were two to a tent, which divided them all neatly enough. Kou and Daisuke got their own tent, Tatsumi and Shirogane shared one over by the other first years, and Yu and Yosuke shared one that had been haphazardly set up against an uneven part of the area.

As soon as they were inside and had sat down on their sleeping bags, Yosuke finally found himself able to relax just enough to dissipate his panic. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. "I dunno how I'm going to be able to sleep tonight without Teddie's snoring to keep me company."

He chuckled softly, looking over at Yu to see how the other would react to his joke. Yu smiled and met Yosuke's gaze without hesitation. "You share a room with him, then? Or does he just defy his cute appearance and snore that loudly?"

Yosuke laughed shortly, appreciating how Yu had turned the joke on him. "Yeah, we share a room. He's a good bear." He paused, then quickly backpedalled. "B-Brother, brother, h-he's a good brother."

"Is Teddie his actual name, or is it a nickname?"

Yu's expression shifted to one of mild confusion and Yosuke really liked the way Yu would tilt his head slightly as he asked a question. Quickly, Yosuke glanced away and drew his knees up to his chest. "Uh, it's-it's his nickname. Our mom called him 'Kuma-chan' when he was a baby while our dad called him a lil' Teddie Bear and they just stuck with me."

A flash of when Teddie had been younger went through Yosuke's mind. The way Teddie's eyes had lit up when he'd heard Yosuke describe what a bear was and how Teddie's name was to help him grow into a strong person, it made Yosuke smile. He leaned into his knees, trying to hide that genuine emotion.

"He's really into it, always introducing himself that way so he'll keep getting called that. He is pretty cute, huh?"

Yu nodded, turning his gaze towards the front of their tent. Yosuke loved Teddie and wanted to protect the small bear from the town's viciousness. But Yosuke had all ready hurt Teddie. He'd probably done more harm than the rest of the town ever could. Yosuke clenched his fingers into the fabric of his track pants and tried not to think too hard on that.

Yu, meanwhile, seemed caught up in his own thoughts. Yosuke hesitated a moment, but maybe they'd both appreciate a distraction. "How's Nanako-chan been doing?"

"Hm?" Yu glanced over to Yosuke a moment, then smiled. "Ah. She's been well." A thought seemed to cross his mind and dampened his expression. "I hope Dojima-san got off work on time tonight."

Yosuke pulled his head off his knees to sit up straight, fully intending to ask if that meant Nanako was just left home alone most nights (wasn't she six years old? Dojima was a detective!), but then there was something violently knocking at the sides of their tent and Yosuke yelped instead. Which had been a mistake, too. He cringed as the other students outside snickered at this (it sounded like there was a girl in their midst, but the rest were boys) and continued smacking the walls of the tent.

One of the boys rose his voice to a shout. "You think you're better than us, Junes boy?"

That seemed to encourage the others, as they all started shouting as they threatened to collapse the whole tent.

"Who said you were worthy of the transfer's attention, huh?"

"Hanging out with him probably fuels your sick fantasies, doesn't it?"

"You're a disgusting piece of shit, Junes trash."

"Go home and just disappear all ready."

"Just because you actually came to this and cleaned up a bit of trash doesn't magically make you a better person."

"Nothing can erase your shittiness, you Junes trash bag."

Yosuke moved instinctively towards Yu, yet another bad decision. Yu looked at Yosuke for one second, no doubt noting how the panic had returned and his whole body shook (although, Yosuke could handle this, he'd dealt with worse), before reaching a decision. Yu stood, resolute and with no way for Yosuke to stop him, and raised his own voice. "I'm warning all of you right now to stop before I have to stop you myself."

Yosuke heard one of them give a surprised, "Shit, he's in there!" before they scattered, their footsteps retreating into the distance. Yu glared at the sides of the tent and Yosuke was convinced he'd have given chase if, at that moment, Tatsumi hadn't burst through the entrance to their tent, out of breath. "Senpai! I heard some punks--"

"Kanji-san." Yu's entire posture switched immediately from hostile to friendly and he waved in greeting to Tatsumi. "Perfect timing."

Tatsumi, taken aback, frowned and straightened up. "What?"

Shirogane, right behind Tatsumi, also stepped inside the tent and was equally out of breath. "Senpai? Are the both of you all right?"

"For right now, yes." Yu nodded as he stepped towards them, then pushed politely past them and exited the tent. "But I get the feeling they'll need some better discouragement to leave us alone for the rest of the night. One of you, come with me, please."

Tatsumi and Shirogane shared a look, then Shirogane followed after Yu. "Take care of Hanamura-senpai, Kanji-kun."

"What? Why me?"

Tatsumi groaned after them to no avail. After seeing that they were long gone, Tatsumi walked over to sit down right beside Yosuke. It had taken all of Yosuke's self-control to not protest as Yu left and, now a bit frayed with panic, Yosuke flinched away from Tatsumi's sudden advancements. Tatsumi grimaced at this, but said nothing. Leaving the two of them to sit there in an awkward silence for longer than necessary.

Honestly, Yosuke didn't know that much about Tatsumi outside of the rumours that the school threw around about him. Like the fact that he'd beaten up three separate biker gangs just for the fun of it. Also his family owned a textile shop in the shopping district. Tatsumi seemed the most likely candidate in Inaba to beat the crap out of Yosuke for the whole Junes thing, yet it'd never happened.

Besides, Yosuke didn't deserve to pretend like he could get to know anyone better. They were all telling the truth about him, after all. He was worthless, garbage, better off being thrown away.

Tatsumi huffed out a bitterly amused chuckle. "Not nervous enough to talk yet, huh?"

Yosuke cringed, trying to sink more into himself. "I-I. Well." He licked his lips, a hollow pit forming in his stomach. "Anything I could say. It'd just be excuses."

"You still on about that?" Tatsumi shook his head. Yosuke clenched his fingers tighter into the fabric of his pants. There was nothing he could do that would make up for what he'd done. After the silence stretched on long enough, Tatsumi grimaced and rested his arms on top of his knees. "All right, fine. Is there anything that'd make you feel better?"

Yosuke only had to give it a second of thought before the answer jumped out at him. He went with it, speaking before he could hesitate or stop himself. "I'm really terrified of cockroaches."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

Tatsumi pulled back to raise an eyebrow at Yosuke incredulously. Everything about the way Tatsumi reacted seemed to be to the extreme. It took Yosuke a moment of floundering with his thoughts to sort out his reply. "Uh -- it's -- there's. Y'know, if I tell you a-a way you could, um, hurt me in return?"

This had been stupid. Yosuke turned his gaze away, towards the ground, and awaited Tatsumi's verdict about this dumb, stupid move. Yosuke could give them the tools to really destroy him, but then they'd be walking on eggshells all over again and no, Yosuke wouldn't be able to handle that happening again so soon after the last time. Tatsumi, in the end, pulled out a box of animal crackers and offered it out to Yosuke. "Senpai, even I can see that you've been hurt too much all ready. And I ain't a bully."

Yosuke stared at the offered treat in apprehension. His mind told him it was a trick, he couldn't trust it. If he accepted, it'd just put him more in debt. That made his stomach twist uncomfortably and he was going to throw up if he tried eating any of that. Still, it'd be ruder to refuse at this point, right?

Hesitantly, Yosuke accepted and pulled out a single cookie.

Maybe he didn't have to force himself to eat it? Then again, maybe he'd have to endure it, to find a minute to himself where he could reassure his body that it didn't need to reject everything in his panic.

He only got halfway to raising the cookie to his mouth when Tatsumi lunged towards him, grabbing his wrist. "Woah, no fucking way!"

Yosuke managed a squeak of surprise, but that was about it. He was frozen otherwise, too shocked and too scared to reach much more than that. It at least allowed Tatsumi to grab the cookie from his hand easily enough. Then Tatsumi let him go, sitting back to marvel at the thing.

"You picked out a penguin! That's the rare one, man! What are the odds?"

Still unable to get himself to do anything, Yosuke couldn't even begin to form a reply, his mind blank. Tatsumi didn't seem to notice, completely absorbed in examining the cookie.

"Wow, they put some good details on this. It's flippers and beak are super cute, it looks like it'd be fun to make. Maybe I should trace it down so I got its pattern for later."

Slowly, Yosuke forced himself to breathe, to calm down, to not completely shut down because of this misunderstanding. Tatsumi finally noticed Yosuke's state and cleared his throat, carefully stowing away the penguin cookie.

"Uh. Sorry 'bout that, senpai. Didn't mean to freak you out. Here."

He pulled a different cookie out of the box and handed it to Yosuke. After a second of hesitating, Yosuke accepted it. He definitely couldn't eat this anymore. "Th-Thanks."

He could barely stutter out his reply. Ugh, how pathetic could he get? Of course Tatsumi wasn't going to beat him up at this point. There was no reason to. At least, Yosuke hoped that was the case, that the fact that Shirogane seemed to have accepted Yosuke (and that Tatsumi had accepted Yu) made them not enemies.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes longer. Then Tatsumi spoke again, no doubt unable to stand how awkward Yosuke had made the atmosphere.

"I hope Narukami-senpai and Naoto-kun don't get in trouble. That'd suck."

If Yosuke hadn't been so rattled, he'd have laughed at how succinctly and plainly Tatsumi put it. It was like Tatsumi could downplay the whole thing to sound more like a minor inconvenience rather than the bigger consequence it could result in.

From Yosuke's lack of response, Tatsumi seemed spurred on to continue. "Naoto-kun has always been like this. Wanting to stand up for the truth and bringing it out for those who refuse to see it. I think that's why he was so willing to forgive you so quick."

Yosuke closed his eyes as the wave of guilt went over him. No one should've forgiven him, ever. He was such a screw-up. He was such an unlucky jerk that spread misfortune to those who dared get close to him. He bit those thoughts back and, instead, quietly asked, "You've known Shirogane-san for a long time, huh?"

"Yeah. We grew up together." Tatsumi smiled fondly, his gaze focused on some distant, nostalgic memory. "I was really happy when he stood up for me back when I used to get made fun of. He and Yukiko-chan were the only ones who didn't think I was weird for liking what I like."

Yosuke nodded along, then frowned. "Wait. Yukiko-san?"

Tatsumi's smile fell to a disappointed grimace. "Yeah."

It was hard to imagine Yukiko, the one who always knew exactly where to cut the deepest and draw out the most pain, as someone who'd accept Tatsumi for all his quirks. Then again, she seemed so hung up about it. Maybe Yosuke had interpreted that wrong. Asking at this point would be too rude, as well, so Yosuke kept his mouth shut. Tatsumi shrugged it off and fidgeted a bit with his hands, almost like he was doing the motions of knitting.

"I'm real glad to have Naoto-kun back. Even if his coming here's a bit sad."

Again, it seemed too personal to ask, so Yosuke simply nodded along. Tatsumi raised his head suddenly and looked right at Yosuke, almost accusingly so.

"Are you really in love with Narukami-senpai? Or is that just some shit they're usin' to try'n turn him against you?"

Yosuke ducked his head, unable to meet Tatsumi's face. He really didn't want to talk about this. Not after everything that'd happened that day. Not after he'd all ready spilled his guts to Kujikawa about it and Daisuke had revealed that it was too easy to read Yosuke on this matter.

He bit his teeth together several times, trying to decide if he should answer or not. It was just more ammunition to break him. He still didn't want to admit it to himself.

Slowly, however, he drew the answer out of himself. "I. Think? It's. Really hard to. Say for certain. This could all just. Be a coping mechanism. For how he's treated me compared to. How the rest of the town."

"Yeah, I'm not buying it." Tatsumi shook his head, interrupting Yosuke. "Aren't Nagase-senpai and Ichijo-senpai nicer to you, too? Ain't Naoto-kun being nice? If you haven't developed any spontaneous crushes on them, then I think it's safe t'say that Narukami-senpai might be an exception here."

Yosuke bristled, unable to stop himself. "That's -- They're different, okay? Yu has seen the worst of me and still accepted me as a friend. H-He's reliable and I-I trust him. I trust him, we're -- partners."

It was still incredibly hard, finding the right words and getting them out. Yu had decided to stick by Yosuke's side despite everything pointing towards the fact that Yosuke was just a terrible choice for a friend. Yu stood up for Yosuke, even if it was terrifying at times. Yosuke was definitely an easy idiot to have fallen for such simple gestures, but it wasn't like he could just turn his brain off and stop being an emotional wreck desperate for any sort of positive interactions.

He gripped his fingers tightly into the sleeping bag he was sitting on and glared down at the tops of his knees. "If I got crushes on anyone who was nice to me, ever, then that'd be pretty fucking pathetic, huh?"

Tatsumi sat back, watching Yosuke carefully. "I wouldn't think that was pathetic, senpai. Just that you've been through some shit and are desperate for acceptance."

Yosuke was sure that wasn't supposed to sound reassuring, because it did a pretty good job of making him feel even more vulnerable. Before either of them could continue the conversation, thankfully, Yu and Shirogane returned to the tent, entering and sitting down very casually. Yu sat closer to Yosuke while Shirogane sat beside Tatsumi. Yu, satisfied, smiled gently at Yosuke. "They shouldn't be back."

Yu was just trying to help. Yu was doing what he thought was right. The way he'd phrased it just made shivers run down Yosuke's shoulder blades. Shirogane raised a hand, willing to step in with a better explanation. "Kendo-sensei gave the culprits a stern lecture on not disturbing their fellow students."

"But Morooka-sensei is out prowling around now." Yu continued, reaching over to turn their lamp down to a lower light. "So it'd probably be safer for the two of you to stay here until morning."

Tatsumi reeled back, incredulous. "You gotta be kidding me."

Shirogane seemed to share the sentiment, though his reaction was more restrained. Yosuke, gathering what remained of his nerves, nodded. "I agree. I don't want you guys getting in trouble trying to sneak back while King Moron's out there."

Tatsumi frowned, but relented. "Fine. I suppose that makes sense."

Shirogane looked up at Tatsumi in surprise while Yu beamed, absolutely ecstatic. Really cutely so. Yosuke kicked himself into action, laying out their things to make proper beds for them all. Their tent being on this uncomfortable hill was gonna make it a tight fit, but they'd have to deal with it. It wasn't too terrible.

At least, that had been what Yosuke thought. It turned out, however, that Yu was an extremely cuddly sleeper, latching onto Yosuke's back during the night and practically spooning him for the duration. In the moment, it made him want to scream, but he was sure he was going to tease Yu about it the next day.

Who'd have thought the stalwart, neutral Yu was such a magnet towards others in his sleep? And could be capable of such a powerful death grip on his unlucky victim while asleep? All right, that last part made sense, actually.

If it hadn't been so uncomfortable, Yosuke would've laughed about it then and there instead of panicking to himself until he passed out.

He slept through Tatsumi and Shirogane sneaking out back to their own tent and Yu apologised about the cuddling once he did wake, so Yosuke restrained himself from making any jokes about it. Maybe it was a sensitive subject for Yu in the first place. Who knew? Certainly not Yosuke.

After being dismissed for the day, they all simply headed home. Yosuke would've suggested they try swimming in the nearby lake, but hadn't brought his swimsuit and his ideas were generally the worst, anyway. Teddie was glad to see Yosuke back early, at least, and hugged Yosuke for a whole minute, proclaiming afterwards that it was a new record. It got Yosuke to laugh and he enjoyed relaxing for a while until his father called to ask him to cover the closing shift.

He'd almost completely forgotten about the cookie until he pulled it out of his pocket in crumbled pieces as he was changing. The crumbs spilled out on the floor and Yosuke had to hurriedly clean it and dump it in the trash before rushing to Junes.

There were more hecklers and complaints than usual, but Yosuke dealt with it all using his perfectly practiced customer service manners. Today was easier, even if that awful cabbage guy had an odd, scheming look to him that set Yosuke on edge the entire time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but chapters from here on out are really gonna slow down. ;; I am a distracted writer and Giant Robo has been calling my name as of recently, but I'm not gonna give up on this fic! We haven't reached the really fun part, after all!


	12. How Close is Close Enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birthdays were happy times. Birthdays were stressful times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I am extremely sorry about the long pause (and even more sorry that I'm putting this on official Hiatus after this), but I have gotten super focused on my novel that I'm trying to finish, so it might be a while before I get myself back to this.  
> I'm not abandoning it yet, because the part I really REALLY want to write hasn't even happened yet, but it might be a long while before I update again, so I'm really sorry about that. ;;
> 
> Anyway, enjoy a small hope spot, in which Yosuke's birthday turns out pretty all right!  
> Huge thanks to AgeofZero, as ever, for being my Beta and the one I turn to when at a loss for how to write Yu's voice. You can thank her for the entirety of Yu's birthday letter! ;w;

[Part 9 - How Close is Close Enough?]

 

When it was clear that none of the locker hate mail was reaching Yosuke, the mood around the school turned violent.

Monday, after their return from their trip, was weirdly packed with other students casually throwing punches at him as they passed by in the halls or kicking at his legs with the intent to trip him as he rushed out of class to get to work on time. The worst part was that Yu had been pulled away by Shirogane during lunch, so Yosuke had to spend that time sitting and ignoring all the attempts to provoke him into fighting back. Which was why he'd taken to just walking aimlessly around the halls in the first place.

Worse still, it was working.

Yosuke wanted to fucking scream at all of them. They were doing a good job of making him remember that he hated all of this.

Tuesday wasn't much better, as Yu left during lunch again (this time seemingly unprompted) and now Yosuke was able to see exactly what he'd done to Yu those times he'd bailed. Had he done something wrong? Had Tatsumi or Kujikawa told Yu about the whole crush thing? Yu was polite in excusing himself both times (and came back this time with just enough time to eat before classes resumed), but Yosuke had seen Yu's fury. He knew of Yu's ability to be polite even when being cold and distant. It made Yosuke unable to sit still and the others simply took advantage of that even more, poking and prodding and denying they were even doing anything at all.

Work that Tuesday was utterly exhausting, from having to listen to the two part-timers harassing him (even bringing up how Saki-senpai had been the best example of the Hanamua Challenge done right; she wasn't even working today!) to having to listen to several customers complain about how the sources of the products in Junes were all unethical and should be condemned for their practices. Yosuke had to nod along, pretending to listen and agree, when really there was little any of them could do about it, since those customers were still choosing to come to Junes and buy those products anyway.

One of the girls came to ask him to plead their case to his father for a fifth time and he nearly snapped at them. His patience had run so very thin. He swallowed that anger back, however, and told them politely once again that any and all scheduling disputes had to be taken up with HR or his dad, the Manager, and not him, a lowly grunt working at the bottom of the company.

Even when he got home, Teddie was too much, excitedly bouncing around and insistently asking after what Yosuke wanted to do tomorrow. Finally, in the middle of dinner, after about the twenty-fifth time, Yosuke simply replied, "I just want to sleep."

He stood immediately from the table, took his dishes to the sink, then headed upstairs and to bed.

Thankfully, he fell asleep right away. However, his dreams were stressful, involving him begging those around him to let him leave, to quit adding chains to his body and weighing him more and more down to the spot. They responded by dragging him up into the rafters to hang from those chains, all the while the faces of those he recognised watching on in silence. He awoke an hour early and wished he could have a normal, wacky dream for once.

Since he was up early, he got ready and left for school, careful not to wake anyone as he went. The early morning was pleasantly warm and, though it'd been getting hotter with every day, he couldn't say that he entirely hated it. There were always the festivals and potential beach trips to look forward to and a full month of fun nights filled with no worry of needing to wake up early for classes. He'd be hard pressed to say that, despite all of its better qualities, he hated summer just because of the unbearable heat and annoying bugs.

Seriously, though. The cicadas were so loud that he and Teddie had believed for an embarrassingly long time that summer just made the trees scream.

At school, he saw Yu standing guard by his locker. A weird sight that made Yosuke suddenly very aware of how little he was doing to return any sort of friendly gesture that Yu had done for him. Yu was getting up far too early to make lunch for them and head to school in order to keep anyone from shoving more shit into Yosuke's locker. Yet here Yosuke was, thinking only of himself and his own survival. It was downright disgusting.

Yu noticed him standing there, awkwardly just out of range, and smiled brightly. It was so genuine that it made Yosuke freeze. "Yosuke. Good morning. You're here early."

"Uhh." Yosuke had to shake himself out of it, had to continue walking until he was standing with Yu at the lockers. "Yeah? I guess?"

"Here." Yu quickly handed him an orange envelope, a little too eager and a little too giddy. "This -- ah. I mean, Happy Birthday, partner."

Yu practically beamed. It was the most Yosuke had ever seen Yu smile outwardly. Also, Yosuke had been thrown for a loop. He accepted the envelope carefully, moving slowly and unsurely. "I-I guess. Thanks?"

Yu's smile dampened slightly. Ugh, no, that was terrible. Yosuke was so tongue-tied that he'd made that sound too ungrateful, too much like an asshole. He grimaced and shook his head roughly, trying again.

"I mean. Thanks, Yu-san. This." He looked at the envelope a moment, then back up at Yu's eager smile. "Wait. How'd you even know?"

"Shirogane-kun told me." Yu stood back, satisfied. "You don't have to open it right away if you don't want to. I'm just glad I got to give you one first."

Yosuke gulped, his fingers clenching tighter on the envelope. He did his best to remind himself that he'd only known Yu for a few months, that Yu was just a friend, just here for a single year. It didn't help. He still found himself smiling, still felt that gentle warmth throughout his whole body. "Thanks, partner. Really, I mean it."

Yu smiled in return and Yosuke put the envelope safely into his bag before opening his locker to get his school shoes. It was probably just a simple card, a simple wish of 'happy birthday', but he wasn't quite prepared to face that. Maybe later, once the day was finished, he could open it and take a look, when he was alone in his room and could pretend he was safe from the scorn of the world.

With nothing else to really do, he joined Yu in standing at the lockers, their backs to the metal, waiting for the day to truly start. Yosuke probably should say something, should make this less awkward. It took a minute of grappling with his own ineptitude for him to finally get the question out. "So. What're you doing here this early, anyway?"

"Standing guard." Yu replied easily, no hesitation in his tone. "And you?"

Yosuke shrugged. "Woke up early. Hey, uh, I-I don't have work today."

He winced at his not-so-subtle request. What was he even doing? Yu would probably be busy with something and here he was being a clingy bother. Yu hummed softly in thought, looking contemplative despite the hints of a playful smirk giving away that he didn't need time to think about this at all. "Wanna hang out, then? We can go to the Samegawa Floodplains and talk."

Yosuke relaxed and smiled, able to breathe in the relief. "Yeah. I'd like that."

His mind immediately supplied the idea of this being like a date. But no, no, they were only friends. Friends could hang out without there being any romantic undertones. Friends could remain friends and just friends only, even if one of them had a crush on the other that was so blatant that even a guy like Tatsumi could see it.

Ugh. Yosuke didn't want to qualify that moment with any more thought than it deserved. He didn't need to remind himself of how pathetic he was, especially on his birthday.

Not that it was going to matter much. He didn't deserve a free pass just because of something like that. Better to just keep his head down and wait for the end of the day, when he'd have the time to himself to pretend like he had the room to breathe.

"Oii, Yosuke-san! Yu-san!" Kou shouted at them as he ran over, waving wildly.

Yosuke's head snapped up, his thoughts interrupted by both this and the fact that he slammed the back of his head into the lockers. Yu, who'd gone to wave at Kou with that slightly more than polite smile he reserved for those he'd deemed acceptable (at least, that was Yosuke's best guess as to the reasons behind that particular expression), turned immediately towards Yosuke in concern as Yosuke doubled over, holding onto his head from the pain. Kou came to a stop in front of them and joined in, the concern clear beneath his playful exasperation.

"Man, it's your Birthday! You should be exempt from this kinda thing for today!"

Yosuke groaned, fully intending to reply that he was a disaster zone and had always been a disaster zone. (His father had called it a "heedless breaker-itis" once when he'd slammed into the table at their old house and knocked the vase off, which in turn had startled his mother and made her drop the plate full of cookies she'd just made and she'd argued that it was more likely just a case of bad luck.) However, Yu had placed an arm around his back, murmuring a gentle, "You okay?"

Yosuke nodded quickly, pushing Yu off of him hopefully not too rudely. The pain would go away. It always did. Yu didn't seem convinced, but relented, as he'd been pushed away. Kou gave an overdramatic exhale, placing his hands on his hips. "You'd tell us if you weren't, right? You even left earlier than usual today and it was my turn to walk with you to school."

Oh. Whoops. Yosuke averted his gaze to the side, rubbing at the back of his head in sheepishness and from the pain. "S-Sorry, uh. I-I woke up early is all."

"It's all right." Kou smiled in the end, far too understanding and forgiving. "Looks like it worked out for the best anyway, since Yu-san would'a probably sulked all day if someone else had gotten to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' before he could."

"I -- hm." Yu let out a short hum of annoyance, pressing his back into the lockers and using his bangs to hide his face in embarrassment. Which was a wholly new and way cuter expression than Yosuke had been expecting to ever see from the guy. "That's not -- I wouldn't have -- Mm. Don't-Don't say that."

"Don't call you out, more like." Kou chuckled. "But if I don't, who would? Not Dai, that's for sure."

"Hey." Daisuke walked over, just having arrived as well, and rested an arm on top of Kou's head. "If you're gonna call me stupid, at least do it to my face."

"I didn't say you were stupid." Kou protested. He paused, pretending to think it over. "But now that you've brought it up..."

Daisuke rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Kou. "Besides. Even I can see how possessive Narukami-kun can be."

"I -- okay." Yu huffed at them both. "This is unfair and uncalled for. The both of you are ganging up on me."

Kou and Daisuke both laughed. After a moment, Yu ended up joining in with them. Yosuke wanted to as well, but he was too struck by this new, intriguing side of Yu to do much else besides watch them. They were all friendly enough to joke like this. To tease at one another without taking things too seriously.

But not him. He was too sensitive to risk that sort of playfulness with.

Yosuke grimaced at the thought and pushed it aside. Daisuke and Kou paused in their teasing of Yu and, with the biggest grins on their faces, both turned towards Yosuke and said, "Happy Birthday, Yosuke!"

And, of course, Yosuke found himself genuinely smiling back. "Thanks, guys."

Maybe he didn't deserve this but for today, he could ignore that glaring fact. Just for today, he was going to enjoy himself.

They spent the rest of their time waiting for classes to start and chatting about nothing, though Kou and Daisuke had to go do club things and left Yosuke alone with Yu, awkwardly dancing around the subject of how flustered the two of them had made Yu over something that shouldn't have been a big deal at all. Then they were joined by Shirogane, Tatsumi, and Kujikawa right before the warning bell. The three kouhai cheerily wished Yosuke a happy birthday (well, Kujikawa was cheery; Shirogane was just smiling and Tatsumi was just loud), which Yosuke was sure would've made him cry had they had more time to talk. He wasn't aware he could still be grateful for classes starting at all.

He caught Chie glaring at him once or twice, but resolutely ignored it by staring at the back of Yu's head. They weren't going to get to him today. She and Yukiko could continue doing their worst tomorrow, but not today. He had to hold on to something and the prospect of spending his day with Yu, then coming home to his family was a nice thought.

Of course, this was Yu Narukami, master of taking every expectation and flipping the table over in protest. So Yosuke really should've remembered that fact for when lunch rolled around and Yu pulled out a family-sized bento to place on top of Yosuke's desk. Instead, it came as a shock and Yosuke was caught completely off-guard.

"Wha-What is this?" He asked, maybe a bit too incredulous to be friendly.

Yu, undeterred, smiled up at him with that mischievous glint in his eyes. "A lunch befitting a celebratory day, of course."

Yosuke frowned, immediately ready to argue about that (that is, if he could've gotten there first; it looked like half the class and Chie were all gearing up to argue, too), but then the classroom door burst loudly open and Kujikawa, Tatsumi, and Shirogane all filed inside, a bit too eager. Kujikawa, at the front (and panting; had they run here from their own classroom?), pushed her way over to them and asked, "Did we make it?"

Yu's smile brightened as he pulled out a second family-sized bento to rest beside the other one. "Right on time."

"Hell yeah!"

Tatsumi pumped his fist into the air, making a few of the other students flinch back. Kujikawa cheered as well and quickly set about arranging a few of the empty desks over to Yosuke's, to better fit the apparent extra company. Shirogane chose to sit beside Yosuke and Tatsumi followed him, glaring daggers around at the rest of the room as he moved to take his seat.

"Y'wanna get bent? This ain't a side show, y'know, so beat it!"

A good chunk of the onlookers, surprisingly, quickly packed their things and vacated the room. Even those that normally stayed resolutely in their spots no matter what was happening left from the fear only a punk like Tatsumi could instil. He grinned in satisfaction down at Shirogane, who rolled his eyes in response. Kujikawa finished arranging their seats and plopped down right beside Yu, bubbly and giggly like her personality suggested. "I can't wait to start, this is gonna be so much fun!"

Yosuke drummed his fingers against the desk, unsure if he should chance trying to escape or not. "Okay. Really. What are you up to here, partner?"

He realised too late that there were still other people in the room. There were still others who didn't know, hadn't heard Yosuke call Yu that. Including Chie and Yukiko, who shared a look of pure shock before hurriedly scurrying towards the door with their things. Shit, he hadn't meant to use it, it had just slipped out so naturally. Yu went to reply, either oblivious to the moment or forcibly ignoring it (as even Shirogane and Kujikawa had gasped in shock to hear Yosuke refer to Yu so familiarly), but again Yosuke was thankfully saved as Chie nearly crashed into Kou and Daisuke, who were also apparently joining them for this?, in her escape attempt and causing a loud enough commotion to distract Yu and everyone else from acknowledging that moment.

"Hey, watch it!" Chie called out as she continued barrelling past the two, dragging Yukiko along for the ride.

"You watch it! You crashed into us!" Daisuke protested to their backs. Their only reply was a shrill cackling, like a hyena (and, damn, Yosuke didn't know Chie could laugh like that), making Daisuke grimace. "Ugh. Girls."

"C'mon, Dai, don't be like that." Kou laughed and dragged Daisuke further inside, over to Yosuke and Yu's now makeshift table. They took the two last empty seats and Kou looked over at Yu knowingly. "So? What's on the menu for today?"

Shirogane chuckled softly and looked to Yosuke, playing along. "It wouldn't happen to be Hanamura-senpai's favourite, would it? That would be the most logical conclusion, considering it's his birthday, after all."

He nodded sagely, as if to punctuate his point, making Tatsumi and Kujikawa laugh at the theatricality of it all. Kou joined in, as did Yu. All of this was a bit too much. Yosuke bowed his head, his shoulders bunching up reflexively. "It's really. Not. I-I'm nothing special--"

"You are." Yu cut him off, his voice stern but sincere. "You're our friend. Therefore, to us, you're of the utmost importance."

He said it effortlessly and with a smile to boot. Yosuke clamped his mouth shut, unable respond to a declaration like that. How could Yu say stuff like that so easily? Kujikawa and Daisuke nodded along in agreement without hesitation. Tatsumi, however, frowned over at Yu. "Uhh, I wouldn't say that he's my utmost priority, senpai."

"Agreed." Shirogane joined in, smiling apologetically at Yosuke. "But you are high on the list."

"Yeah, I'm cool with that."

Tatsumi grinned over at Yosuke as well, which helped to further keep Yosuke from being able to respond. Shirogane had forgiven him easily, despite him not being deserving in the slightest. Was this Tatsumi's way of forgiving him? Why? He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve any of this!

Yu frowned rather huffily at Tatsumi. "He's top priority."

Kou laughed, taking it in good humour. "Dude, some of us have family and dates."

Yu considered this a moment, then gave in. "Fair. He's my top priority, as my partner."

He winked at Yosuke in what was clearly a playful copying of Yosuke's own odd quirk of doing the same. Still, it fucking worked and Yosuke's face went aflame too easily. He wanted to shout at Yu that no, that was so silly and straight up embarrassing, but all that would come out was an undignified, annoyed groan. He buried his face in his hands to at least try to hide his shame.

While everyone else had laughed, Kujikawa rolled her eyes in a similar joking manner to Yu's. "Senpai, you can't just say things like that. People are gonna take it the wrong way."

"I don't need them to understand this." Yu replied, his conviction as immovable as a mountain. "They're not a part of this. I want all of you to know that I care about you no matter what."

Kujikawa practically melted while Kou and Tatsumi looked truly touched. Being so upfront and honest in this sort of environment definitely helped Yu look better and better. The guy truly deserved it, too. Yosuke, finally coming up with something, snapped his gaze up at Yu in challenge. "What about Nanako-chan?"

Shirogane and Daisuke turned to watch Yu, interested to see what his answer would be. His smile fell as he slowly tilted his head in thought. And he deliberated. Probably for a minute too long. Finally, he set about opening the bento in order to start serving the food. "Let's actually eat before lunch ends."

Kujikawa, Daisuke, and Kou all burst into boisterous laughter. Even Yosuke couldn't stop himself from joining in this time. Tatsumi leapt up to help Yu get everything set up (and, big surprise, it was a whole lot of yakisoba, though there was some takoyaki and okonomiyaki as well), then they all busily enjoyed the food. It was, of course, delicious and Yosuke was glad to finally get a chance to try it. Everyone voiced their high praise for the food, which Yu accepted graciously.

It was such a large group. Yosuke had to sit back a moment and really take it in. Even when he'd lived in the city, with that group of friends, it'd never been this many people he actually liked. It'd never been this many friends who could wholly, utterly break him if they so desired.

The thought of things ending like that should've soured his mood. Instead, he found himself full of hope; hope that things wouldn't turn out that way, that they could all remain friends for a long time to come.

As everyone finished eating (and, between all of them, they'd picked both bento nearly clean), they settled in to chat for the rest of the break. When the warning bell rang, they wished Yosuke a happy birthday once more before leaving back to their own classes. Shirogane went to fix the desks, but Tatsumi dragged him away before he could, loudly proclaiming that those other bastards could do it themselves. Which, really, wasn't a good call (and Yosuke went to move them back, Yu joining him after a second of debate), but it was fine. Everyone in the class was glaring at him as they filed in and took their seats, the air openly hostile, but it was fine.

They didn't matter, anyway.

Yosuke was taken aback by the sudden surge of anger in him. If they were going to continue blaming him for shit he had no control over, then their opinions didn't matter. They were petty and mindless and wrong.

Fuelled by that anger, Yosuke was able to make it through the rest of their classes. Then, as they were gathering up their things to leave this goddamn place for the day, he quickly looked up at the back of Yu's head, speaking a bit too loudly in his rush. "So, uh. Are you -- are we--?"

He scrunched up his nose at his lack of being able to speak without fumbling over his words. Yu, at least, smiled back at him encouragingly as he hefted his bag up and over his shoulder. "Ready. Let's go."

Yu grabbed his hand, no hesitation, and pulled Yosuke along out of the class, out of the school, and off towards the floodplains. Yosuke was caught in shock, having his hand grabbed like this again. Yu was truly serious when he said he didn't care about what others might think. To Yu, this was just a normal, friendly gesture. As far as Yu was concerned, they were just friends. Close, perhaps, but just friends. And, honestly, that was really all Yosuke could handle at this point in time. He should've been grateful for even this.

How could he be such an ungrateful asshole to want more?

Only after they'd made it to the floodplains did Yu let go of his hand. They stood side by side, staring into the flowing water, panting a bit and unsure of what else to do. Grasping for some way to start a conversation, Yosuke looked over at Yu with an unsteady smile. "You sure were in a hurry to get us out here."

"Ah, sorry." Yu bowed his head sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand and wrapping the other around his chest. "I wanted to get you away from that. Did I pull too much? Are you okay?"

Yu looked over at him in return, his eyes full of genuine concern. Yosuke had to avert his gaze back to the waters, unable to look for long. "I'm fine, no worries, dude."

"That's good."

Yu continued staring at him, relieved now, but it was still definitely awkward. It occurred to Yosuke that perhaps Yu was waiting for something else, so Yosuke offered up a quiet, "Thanks."

Yu nodded in acknowledgement, seeming to catch the mood and returning his gaze back on the river as well. There was no halfway with this guy. It still amazed Yosuke that Yu was so determined in this. It all seemed legitimate, too. That just seemed to be the type of guy Yu was.

And yet.

Yosuke frowned at the nagging in the back of his mind that this was all just a trap, somehow. That the town would inevitably, finally turn Yu into one of them soon enough, allowing him to use all of this against Yosuke.

Without giving himself another moment to think about it, Yosuke blurted out, "You don't have to try so hard."

Confused, Yu turned to look at him. He met Yu's gaze this time, running with his impulsiveness.

"I've forgiven you all ready. You know that, right? There's no need--"

"I know." Yu cut him off, his tone set with a mature finality to it. "I'm not trying to make up for that anymore."

Yosuke frowned, perplexed. That should've settled the matter, closed it without any loose ends, but his mind disagreed for some reason. All of Yu's actions no longer made any sort of sense. He should've eased up, not buckled down harder than before. Unable to come up with something better, Yosuke settled for just asking outright. "What are you trying to do, then?"

Yu paused to think over his answer carefully, his expression darkening as he did so. "This whole town treats you terribly. That's an understatement, but the words I'd rather use don't really have a good enough translation to convey what I mean." He shook his head, then smiled more warmly at Yosuke. "You deserve so much better than this, Yosuke. That's what I'm trying my best to impart on you."

The words were like a punch to the gut that left him breathless. He ducked his head to hide his face and realised there were tears welling up in his eyes. "I. I don't." He sniffed, trying his best to keep the tears back, but they spilled over as he shut his eyes tightly. "I don't think I have enough words to say 'thank you' enough, partner."

Again, he just called Yu that on instinct. Without even thinking. He raised his hands to wipe away the tears and rub at his face to keep them from really showing. Yu, meanwhile, chuckled quietly in embarrassment. "Of course, partner." He petered out and let out a soft whoosh of breath. "Partner. I really like that."

Yosuke sniffed again and dared to look up at Yu. "Really?"

Yu nodded, his expression turning wistful as he looked out into the rushing water in front of them. "They're right, you know. I'm possessive. They read me like a book and they're completely right."

"Woah, sl-slow down there." Yosuke, in his uneasiness, ended up laughing a little. "What-What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"I. Ah." Yu turned his gaze down at the grass beneath their shoes, raising one hand to play with his bangs as he did his best to hide his face. "It's embarrassing, but. You're my friend, so. I want to keep you all to myself, because. Well. Y'know, that sort of thing."

Yosuke frowned. In a different mindset, that sort of admission might've made him freak out. It sounded, after all, a hell of a lot like the sort of thing that a jealous crush might have felt. However, this was Yu being very real and open with him. This was a feeling Yosuke had definitely experienced on his own before. It was probably the reason why Katsuragi had been so cold to him when he'd texted him after moving out here.

Therefore, instead of possibly making the moment more awkward, he nodded along silently and let Yu continue. "I know that. This is not what you need right now. Someone being possessive over you. I know that. It's frustrating that I feel this way despite knowing it's not the best for either of us right now. A healthy relationship has mutual trust, not. Not jealous possessiveness."

"Well, hey." Yosuke chanced to step closer, to place a comforting hand on Yu's shoulder as a gesture of understanding. "At least you recognise it? That's, like, uh. Half of making sure it doesn't become a problem. Right?"

Yu relaxed under Yosuke's touch and raised his head to smile over at Yosuke. "You're a good partner. Thanks, Yosuke."

His smile was too genuine, too flattering. Yosuke, again acting too impulsively, slapped his hand into Yu's face and shoved the other boy away. "All right, Mister Perfect. If you keep using my name so casually like that, I'm gonna die for real here."

Yu laughed, playing along, thank god. "But it's so hard to remember how long exactly we need to be friends before I'm allowed to disregard honorfics according to the rules of society. Can't we just both agree to ditch them right now, by this point? We are 'partners' after all."

In spite of himself, Yosuke grinned along. "Nope! I whole-heartedly refuse!"

"Fine, fine." Yu stepped back, getting out of Yosuke's reach (and darting back in, consequentially, when the loss made Yosuke stumble forward and nearly fall) and helping them both to stand up straight. "Is that really a nickname of mine? 'Mister Perfect'?"

"Heck if I know." Yosuke shrugged, avoiding looking at Yu in an attempt to not reveal that he did, in fact, know. "Anyway, I guess I should be heading back now. Teddie'd be upset if I didn't at least see him once today."

Yu frowned, looking ready to protest (and making Yosuke's breath catch in his throat from such a simple little thing), but took a moment to check his phone and relented on seeing the time. "I suppose it'd be fine now." He smiled again and gestured for Yosuke to follow along. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

Yosuke opened his mouth to say that it was cool, he'd be all right but the memory of the hostility in the air during class hit him and he let the protest die in the back of his throat. It'd probably be best to be safe today, considering everything. He joined Yu and they walked at a casual pace back to his house, side by side and laughing at dumb jokes. Yu chatted a bit about some of the games he'd played and Yosuke had heard of roughly half of them; he considered himself fairly well-versed in the gaming scene, but Yu's knowledge on the subject was more American than he'd expected.

They arrived back at Yosuke's house and, strangely, Yu followed him all the way to the door. As he pulled out his key to unlock the front door, he grinned uneasily back at Yu. "What, y'wanna come in for a bit?"

"Might as well." Yu shrugged, his hands in his pants pockets and the picture of nonchalance. "There are people I know in there, after all."

Ever the mystery, this guy. Yosuke shook his head and opened the door to step inside, but was met with a loud chorus of, "Welcome back, birthday boy!"

Yosuke froze and thank god Yu was there to help usher him inside and close the door behind them. His parents, Teddie, Nanako, Tatsumi, Shirogane, and Kujikawa were all there, grinning and waiting. His mom was holding a cake while his father held and wore a party hat, which Tatsumi and Kujikawa were also dutifully wearing.

Unable to wait any longer, Teddie sprang forward and glomped onto Yosuke, burying his face in Yosuke's chest. "You left early again, Yosu-nii! You left this bear very lonely!"

"Takuma-chan, cut it out." Their mom chastised, grabbing everyone's attention either out of parental authority or shock. "It's your brother's birthday today. He's allowed to spend it however he likes."

She smiled at Yosuke, something knowing in her expression, and he gulped thickly without knowing why exactly he felt so embarrassed. Teddie whined softly, but let go of Yosuke and stepped back, allowing Nanako, who'd rushed forward as well to hug onto Yu, to now face Yosuke and smile brightly up at him. "Um! Yosuke-san. Is it all right if I call you 'Yosu-nii' too?"

Yosuke could only nod in reply, unable to speak for fear of ruining the moment somehow. Teddie perked back up and laughed, grabbing Nanako's hands up. "Yeah! Then we'll be siblings, too, Nana-chan!"

"Right, everyone." Their mom spoke up again, raising the cake slightly higher as she did so. "Let's go to the table so we can enjoy this cake."

Teddie and Nanako both cheered and ran off to do as she said. Yu followed quickly after them and Tatsumi laughed as he went along, too, with Shirogane worriedly on all of their trails. Kujikawa walked with Yosuke's mom towards the table in the kitchen. Yosuke's dad remained, holding out the hat for Yosuke to take. Yosuke hurriedly took off his shoes and frowned up at his dad. "I thought you had work?"

"Can't an old man want to celebrate his son's birthday?" His dad chuckled tiredly, then snapped the hat onto Yosuke's head, making Yosuke squawk in annoyance. "I had Kazuo-san cover for me. Teddie was worried that you'd be lonely today, so your mother and I decided to make today a special one for you."

Yosuke ducked his head, tugging at the string of the hat nervously. "Aw, Teds. He didn't -- I mean, you didn't have to, I would've been fine."

His dad's smile turned bitter and sad suddenly. "I know things haven't been easy for you, either. But I want you to know that I'm proud of you, Yosuke."

Yosuke's hands clenched up and he had to pull them away from the string of the hat and towards his chest to grip the fabric of his shirt. "I-I know. I know. I'm doing my best to keep my head down and not upset anyone further."

"No, not about that." His dad placed a comforting, warm hand on his shoulder, making him look up to see that his father really meant it. "You've made a fine group of friends. They were adamant that we coordinate this for you and seem to genuinely care about your well-being. And that's a rare find that takes both sincerity and bravery. So, naturally, I'm proud to see that you're maturing into a fine person."

Yosuke gulped back all that raw emotion fighting to get out (he so didn't need to start wailing again on his goddamn birthday of all days) and bowed his head again. "Thanks, dad."

That was all he could say. Nothing else was really coming to him. God, he could be so dumb and disrespectful. He could be so ungrateful and show how immature he really was. Why had Yu ever decided he could be anything but the entitled brat everyone thought he was? They were all so much more correct about him than even he was comfortable in admitting.

But he forced a smile up at his dad which his dad readily accepted, then they both headed towards the table where everyone was waiting. Yosuke did his best to keep that smile on, to look as grateful and humble as he could, even as his mind screamed at him that he'd done literally nothing to deserve all of this.

And, maybe one day, they'd all wake up and realise this. For now, though, it was nice not to have to deal with that hate.

Nanako and Teddie both ended up eating so messily that even Yu and their mom were laughing at the sight they'd made. It definitely didn't help that Teddie was rowdy and good at getting Nanako to join in with him, though as they were getting wiped down she shushed him and actually made him listen to her. Yosuke fell into it, too, enjoying the tangy lemon cake his mother had made and letting that darkness at the back of his mind melt away with all their shared laughter.

Tatsumi was both extremely proud and very shy about the fact that he'd made some cute keychains for all of them, as according to Shirogane, he'd felt awkward about not giving anyone else some gifts, too. He'd made them himself, too, and by hand! Yosuke could only vaguely play guitar, nothing quite as impressive as create something so unique and cute as these keychains. Kujikawa expressed this, too, and made Tatsumi really flustered and Shirogane had to help calm him down before he could storm out and scream out his embarrassment. Yu complimented the cake and ended up in a long conversation with Yosuke's mother, sharing baking tips and admiring each others' aspirations. When Yosuke was finally able to get Yu to rejoin the group, Yu explained that Kou had a family event to attend that Daisuke had accompanied him to and that they'd probably message Yosuke later that night with extra well-wishes.

Then everyone had to leave, Yu and Nanako departing last. Although Teddie was definitely a bit too overdramatic about it, being brought to tears by the mere thought of having to be separated from his new bestie Nanako, the parting itself left a very pleasant taste in Yosuke's mouth as he watched Yu carry a very tired Nanako down the street, waiting until they'd faded from sight before heading back inside.

These were really his friends now. Maybe things really were changing for the better.

But would it last once Yu had to leave?

The thought shoved its way rather rudely into his head. So he shoved it back, into a corner, to think about later. What did it matter now if Kujikawa, Tatsumi, and Shirogane stopped being friendly once Yu left at the end of the year? He'd dealt with being on his own in this personal hell before, he could do it again. It wasn't like they could do much worse to him than sling their poison and beat him up.

He retired just a bit early in order to pull out the orange envelope Yu had given him earlier that day. He opened it carefully and, to his surprise, it wasn't a card inside, but a letter. A shudder ran up his neck, but he decisively took out the paper and started to read.

' _Happy birthday, Yosuke._ '

Yosuke had to pause, shoving the whole letter away from himself. Just that would've been fine. But no. Yu had to go and write more onto this. Yu had to go and write him a goddamn letter. Like a great friend. He took a few deep breaths, then tentatively pulled the paper back in to continue.

' _You're a good friend, my best friend (tied with Nanako)._ '

He snorted at the very Yu-like statement there. No wonder he'd gotten so lost in his own debate with himself that he'd simply had to move them along during lunch.

' _I'm glad to have met someone like you in Inaba, and to be there to celebrate a well-deserved happy birthday. I know you've gone through rough patches, but I know you'll be able to make it through them. You've got such heart. I hope the day made you happy. Your happiness is the most important thing.  
Your partner, Yu_ '

It was short, simple, and sweet. Possibly too sweet. Yosuke reflexively pulled the note close to his chest as he clenched his eyes shut tight and covered his mouth with his free hand.

Maybe his dad and Yu's faith wasn't entirely misplaced. Maybe, in due time, this town would get over all of this Junes crap. Yu believed in his goodness. So Yosuke wanted to believe, too.

This was, of course, ignoring the fact that these things take time. That some sorts of prejudices couldn't be just overlooked that easily. That, hey, actually, it had kinda been a while since anyone was bold enough to actually beat him up. He shouldn't have jinxed it like that.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Magician's B-Side Mix](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772599) by [AgeofZero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeofZero/pseuds/AgeofZero)




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